When discussing one’s amorous intentions toward another, one sometimes uses the phrase, “I’d like to ________”, at times followed by the phrase, “…if you know what I mean” but not necessarily.
As an example, today I remarked about a drug rep with a particularly tight little body and protruding biceps, “I’d like to shuffle the cards in that stack.” (Thanks, Prince.) I know I’ve heard this sort of phrase pretty much my whole life- haven’t you? What are some of *your *favorites?
Our usual American golf group was at the course here in Italy ordering our morning coffee and brioches in typically fractured Italian. The new barista/barmaid was very attractive. Good friend, Al, mentioned outloud that,“he’d like to bend her over a chair and …”. A few moments later, Monica-who was from Slovenia, joined our conversation in very competent English. Al spent the next three years apologizing whenever we went to that course.
I don’t usually talk about people that way, but it’s funny when other people do. I don’t find a particular phrase funny, so much as the idea that you could say any ridiculous thing and everyone would know what you mean anyway.
Example: “I’d like to bag her groceries.”
It’s the variety of random things one can say that makes it funny.
On a somewhat related note, my wife has started inviting some friends over regularly to watch something on TV, chat, and have snacks – which is heaven for my little pit bull Simone. Simone goes to each of these college-age young women in turn and climbs into their laps for as much kissing and belly rubs as she can handle. The girls love her, and Simone winds up glassy-eyed with contentment.
When I related this story to my friend, he wistfully asked, “Can I come over next week?”
The improv show “Who’s line is it anyway?” does a whole bit based around “if you know what I mean”.
Search youtube for “who’s line is it anyway if you know what i mean” for examples.
I’d like to butter her biscuit…
I’d sure like to ejaculate on the aluminum siding beneath her bedroom window…
Around the time the Pocahontas movie came out, some of us were talking about it and a hot girl walked by.
My friend remarked, “I’d like to poke her hontas.”