Well, my mom’s family is a case in point of a family acting nicely to each other. A few years before she died, my grandma sold her house to my cousin, who was already living in half of it and taking care of it for her, and then split the proceeds amongst her five living children. Then after she died, the one aunt who lived locally went through her things, picked out mementos that would be most meaningful for each family member, and sent them on to us. (She sent me, for example, various cards I’d sent Grandma over the years as well as a few other nice little items.) There wasn’t a single quibble over a single thing, from that day to this.
So yeah, it does happen. Not often, but it does happen.
My mother’s dad did well with investments over the years. He wasn’t a millionaire or anything, but he left a nice estate. My mom’s sister is mentally handicapped and the estate was designated for her care till she dies, then to be split between my mom and her brother.
Said brother, for some reason, has decided that my mom is using this money for her own pleasure. He refused to attend my parents’ 50th anniversary party, nor did he come to my dad’s funeral. I know it breaks my mom’s heart. She offered to show her brother all the accounting (she’s a meticulous record keeper) but he won’t take her calls or anything.
And it’s not like my uncle is hurting for cash either. He was a longshoreman who was hurt on the job, and he got a generous disability pension. Plus he used to own some land that BWI airport needed and bought from him for a nice chunk of change. So he’s not living in a cardboard box or anything.
I know my mom has a will and my brother is the executor. I honestly don’t foresee any major issues, except that most of us really, really like one particular painting in Mom’s living room…
For the most part, my family is totally fine - on both sides, we get along well, and on my dad’s side, my cousins are essentially more brothers and sisters to me. We won’t discuss how my uncle (Dad’s youngest brother) took my great-grandma’s dishes, that had been left to my aunt, and then given to me as a wedding gift last year, from my grandma and grandpa’s house a few months ago, where they were being stored until I was able to go to Florida and get them, and then REFUSED to give them back to my mother, even though he knew damn well who was supposed to get them. He’s turned into bit of an asshole since his divorce. Aside from that, I suspect everything will be pretty copacetic when my grandparents pass - we all want to keep their house in the family, so we’re already discussing amongst the aunts, uncles, and cousins how to deal with that when it happens (Grandma and Grandpa are neither in the best of health, and have encouraged all of us to do so).
On the other side of the family, we have spats a lot more - there’ve been a few times I want to smack the crack out of my cousin, D, who just tends to be absolutely nasty for no reason (I still haven’t really forgiven her for her behavior at our wedding). No one beats my crazy Aunt J., though, who is apparently borderline personality and thinks that the entire family is out to get her and steal her inheritance (including her daughters) - errr…there IS no inheritance. My grandmother spent money like water, and anything left is now my step-grandfather’s (who is MORE than generous with my mom, who considers him her dad, and her siblings). I haven’t spoken to her in about ten years, and after she slapped my thirteen-year-old niece across the face because she wouldn’t tell her where her mother was (all four of this woman’s grandchildren are afraid of her - for good reason - she has never been anything but horrible and nasty to them), I wanted to go find her and give her a good slap myself.
Families are insane. Even when you love them, they’re nuts.