My husband is 5’6", balding (since he was 20), and wears glasses. He says there must be hope for everyone if he found me.
On the non-flippant side, I love his height. he’s only an inch and a half taller than I am. We fit together perfectly. I can lay my head on his shoulder and give him hugs and kisses without killing my arms and neck. I think 5’6" is the perfect height.
Yeah, some women are shallow, some women are giving you the brush off, and some women just are attracted to tall men. It’s ok though, because those of us who like the slightly shorter guys do exist. Good luck.
Eh, I’m sure I’ve said, “I only date ____ kind of guys” before in casual conversation. Do I literally mean I wouldn’t date a guy who wasn’t perfectly athletic, abs -a-ripplin, tan glowing, all while towering over me? Well, no. I’ve dated shorter guys than I’m traditionally attracted to. I’ve dated guys who aren’t in the ideal shape I’m most attracted to. (And these are all physical things, since that’s what we’re discussing here- obviously I consider more in potential partners).
But hey, we all casually say things in passing that maybe aren’t 100% accurate representation of our feelings. Heck, this happens with a lot of absolutist statements made by folks-- very few things in this world are 100% on or off, attractive or not. I’m pretty sure I’ve had a deep relationship or two in my life, but maybe I’m just too superficial to see otherwise.
Keep tabs on her. Don’t stalk her: she’s moved on, and, dating-wise, so have you. But just keep tabs on her; through friends, associates, paid informants in need be.
Until you find out she’s dating a 5’6" man. Then slap her with the biggest fucking lawsuit. Not just some pamphlet-size summons: drop a fifty-pound bankers box full of indictment right there on the table between them, on top of their margaritas and tapas.
“But he’s really sweet. I know what I told you, but I think I can get past that.”
My impression, for some reason, was that the OP was talking about online dating profiles. After reading it again, I see he didn’t say that, so I don’t know why I thought it.
I agree that if it’s said in casual conversation, it’s a lot less meaningful.
And I would agree with you that if someone puts “I ONLY DATE TALL MEN, OK?” on their EHarmony profile, it’s probably a bad sign. Just like a guy putting “NO FATTIES ALLOWED!” It would be odd if you want that to be the impression you give the world, even if it’s how you feel.
I suppose I may be projecting- just because this OP reminds me of a casual situation I’ve encountered in life, within groups of friends.
I’m 5’8" and I’ve dated guys of many heights starting at about 5’4"; however, lots of guys that are shorter refuse to date me because I’m too tall. (I also insist on wearing heels all the time which makes me between about 5’10" and 6’)
I suppose I could pout and have a snit about shallow guys that won’t date me because I’m too tall. Instead I just got over myself and realized if the guy isn’t into Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidmann thing, so be it - I’ll just go for guys who dig it, or who are taller than me.
FWIW, my husband is 6’2" and even he has a bit of a fit when I wear my REALLY tall shoes - he doesn’t like it when I can look him in the eye.
As another 5’6" dude, lemme tell ya. Anyone who considers “height” as a game-ender has more growing up to do than you need to deal with. Thank them for screening themselves out of your pool and move on. It might help if you replace the legend, “I only date tall dudes” with “I’m needy and shallow and want a manbitch to decorate my arm.”
Leave them to find their toys. Most women I know just want a good man with enough blood in him to operate his brain and his dick at the same time. Not to generalize or anything, but tall guys have more body for their blood to service so some parts are likely to go without.
Welcome to the world that women live in all the time. I’m in good shape, take care of myself, and am a reasonably attractive person, but I know if there is an actively hot woman in the room every man is going to be falling over himself and I might as well not be there. That’s just how things are. You just have to hope to find someone who is looking for what you have to offer.
I think age is a better analogy than weight. How many men are willing to date girls 5-10 year younger than them? Probably most guys. Now…how many men are willing to date women 5-10 years older than them? Extremely few. A good portion of men won’t even date a woman two or three years older than them, even if she doesn’t look older and nobody would know the difference. There are even a meaningful number of men who consider women their own age to be too old to date.
At least you don’t keep getting shorter every year!
I agree that everyone is entitled to be attracted to who they’re attracted to, but I also think that a statement like, “I only date tall guys” is a bit of shorthand for, “Not only am I needy and shallow, but I think I’m all that and I’m looking for someone who is at least as attractive as I am. You should also have a good job and a nice car, because looking after me is expensive and I won’t be seen in a beater.”
So basically, thank them for screening themselves out of your pool.
To be fair, though, “I like big bears!” isn’t quite the same thing as “I only date tall guys!”
We all have physical traits that turn us on and stuff, but it is off-putting when someone declares that they don’t date X or only date Y. I dunno, there’s just something arrogant and superficial about it. It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, it’s unbecoming to me.
I’m a tall woman (5’9) who has no problems dating a guy who is a little shorter than her. I feel the OP’s pain because there are a lot of women out there who can’t see past height and won’t hesitate to tell the world about it. But forget them. Shorter guys with confident swagger are great.
I hear you, dmatsch. I’m 5’7", and I’ve run into this plenty myself. I understand that a lot of women, if not most, want to date someone taller than themselves. I accept this - on the flip side, I’m mainly attracted to women shorter than me. The shorter, the better. I find women around 5’0" to be the most attractive.
What infuriates me is when I see some ad or profile or whatever that looks great in every way, including her being around 5’ tall, but then she states she’s only interested in dating dudes who are like 6’4". Are you fuckin’ kidding me? Then I take a deep breath, realize she must be pretty damn shallow and superficial, and move on to the next one.
Mr. S is 5’6". I’m 5’7". Plus I have longer arms, so I’m the one who gets things off high shelves. I also like to wear heels. (He doesn’t mind, I suspect because it puts the boobies closer to his face.)
I like being able to look him in the eye or kiss him without craning my neck. Everything lines up just right.
He’s a great guy, but he was single for many years, and he feels that in large part this was because girls didn’t want to date a short guy. He was always the friend, never the boyfriend. All right for me! Thanks, ladies who threw this prince away. He’s mine now. (I"ll also add that I was quite overweight for about 10 years, and through all that time he still couldn’t keep his hands off me. Now that I’ve lost the weight, I asked him about that. He said he always thought I looked good no matter my weight, just different. )
I agree with those who say to be thankful that these girls are letting you know how shallow they are right up front. Sure it’s a matter of attraction, and they’re only looking at the outside; that’s what makes them shallow. Their loss.
FWIW, it kind of irks me to hear female friends say this (and it always seems to be the shortest ones who have the tall man fetish). For one, honestly who gives a shit? And secondly, I know from experience that it’s not a dealbreaker for them, so why do they set it up in their minds like a must-have?
OK. I’ll say it. Bosstone, Wile E, Eiphonious Polemic, and especially that DMATSCH guy are all going on my list of people first against the wall when the revolution comes.
