I think we’re conflating two different things here; “I have a preference for tall guys” is not the same as, “I only date tall guys.” Go right ahead and have a preference; everyone has preferences for all kinds of things. If you say things like, “I only date tall guys,” you are indicating by inference that short guys are not acceptable to you no matter what else they bring to the table. That seems like a short-sighted attitude to me (no pun intended); it seems foolish to eliminate the possibility of all men under your height requirement without even considering what other characteristics they might have. That sounds like the definition of shallow.
Maybe she just has a certain amusement park ride she has to go on, and she’d be heartbroken if her partner couldn’t share in the joy.
Yes, exactly!
But hey, I owe my happy marriage to a bunch of shallow women who passed over a great guy because he didn’t fit their cookie cutter. Their loss, my gain.
But again, there is the possibility nuggs brought up: they are using that as the excuse because it’s better to hear that instead of, “holy fucking shit, I can’t stand your personality” or “I can’t date anyone who only can talk about the Mets and his car” or something else.
I am 26 yrs into a partnership with a man no taller than me, and I’m not tall, 5’ 3", on a good day.
Here’s the thing, him and another friend of ours, of similar dimensions, got more action than ten men, before we hooked up. Did tons more business than the tall boys about the place.
When I first met my guy, he was dating this tall, knock out blond. They came often into the bar I worked at. Whenever he’d leave her, to hit the head, guys from all over the room would appear and chat her up, always ending up with, ‘drop that short fella and come have a drink with me!’. Not only was she not having it, she never even made eye contact with them, just kept saying, ‘Nope. Not interested!’
My experience watching guys in bars, (pretty extensive as a long time bartender), is that short guys do okay. And the taller, no action guys, are all at the bar saying, “How the hell does that short guy get so many girls?”
I always figured it was kind of like bald guy vs combover. Women respond to confidence. Short and bald men realize they can’t change this thing, so they choose not to let it define them, get past it, mature in the process, and suddenly the girls are going for them. This is why a bald head always trumps a combover.
Seriously, thank them for being so up front about their shallowness and move along.
Of course shallowness goes both ways, if you’re only hitting on Playboy centrefolds then it could just be karma, toying with you, I figure!
There’s something to this. I’m thinking back, and every relationship that lasted more than a few months was with someone 5’9" or shorter, except for one. My husband is 5’9" and bald.
I still think there’s something inside us that makes us take a first involuntary look at someone based on preferences that may be shallow, but when you choose someone for a long term relationship those preferences tend to go out the window. That tall guy who turned your head may reveal himself to be a jackass by the second date and get the boot, while the shorter guy gets enough dates to become a keeper.
I also think there are some short guys who have a certain ‘it’ factor that makes height a non-issue. I had a male roomie who didn’t seem to ever have any shortage of dates and I don’t think I ever heard him complain about the height problem. He was about 5’6" to 5’7"
Very true. If you asked me what “type” I’m generally attracted to, I’d say dark hair and eyes, often dark skin, a bit built but not huge (but not lean and lanky). Who am I married to? A honky-ass almost as pale as I am (:)) who is so blond his eyelashes are clear. And I love him to bits. Who he is is far more important than having dark hair (etc.). But even now, if you ask me “my type”, I’d still say dark hair and eyes, darker skin, etc.
I’m 5’6 and 90% of men are taller than me. I feel like a kid sometimes around groups of tall guys. It’s also funny when I meet guys who are still in high school who tower above me.
But apparently, following your biological imperative is shallow? A short girl hooking up with with a short guy might as well shoot herself in the head, from her gene’s POV. Ditto the guys digging younger girls. I personally enjoy older women, but I recognize that I’m a freak. Crying about these sort of things is like complaining about the sun rising in the east.
The advice to look for ethnicities with short guys is a good one. Asians and Latino girls won’t mind you being smaller than most high schoolers because that’s what they’re used to.
Even if you’re oozing with charisma I wouldn’t recommend trying to get girls in conventional places like bars. You will be crowded out by the normal guys.
Yup, that too. My general ‘type’ is dark, yet my husband is pale and blond also. In fact, I stopped seeing a guy who was my type after my first few dates with my husband. All the superficial stuff was there, but the connection wasn’t.
And this is why, IMHO, dating web sites don’t work very well. Users filter so they only see people who are their type, when in real life the people they are likely to have lasting relationships with may not be their type at all.
Definitely. In fact, my husband is the guy I worked with who was laughing at me for using the internet to meet guys. But odds are if he’d been convinced to put up a profile we wouldn’t have matched up.
I’m 5’7" and I know I’m shorter than half of all adult men, but I don’t feel “short.” I certainly have other negative characteristics, but they’re real and reasonable, so I can’t really take issue with them. But height has never seemed to be an issue IRL, or if it is, they’ve politely talked around the issue by focusing on my various emotional problems.
Oh, yeah: Not in a million years would a dating site have matched me with my husband, and he certainly doesn’t meet my general preferences as far as what I find attractive in a man. Even today, were someone to ask me what type of man I like best, I’d describe him as “tall enough that I don’t tower over him in heels (i.e. at least 6’2”,) a bit older than me, dark or gray hair, dark eyes, slim, and well-read/somewhat intellectual." Instead, I married a man slightly shorter than me, fair, blue-eyed, overweight, redneck as hell, and my age. And I love him dearly, and he adores me, and we are very, very happy together and I wouldn’t change a thing about him (well, except for his weight, but only due to health issues. If it didn’t affect his health, I wouldn’t give a damn about his weight.) Any adult human being probably has a preference, but most of us are adult enough to realize that there’s no such thing as an ideal mate.
Liar!
Shhh, Christina Hendricks, she didn’t mean it. We’ll be together eventually, I promise.
snip.
Only in America and northern Europe. Go anywhere else and you are of perfectly average height. I’m also 5’7, and having traveled about quite a bit I can tell you that those two regions are way out of proportion with the rest of the world in terms of height. In many Latin countries for example, you would be considered on the tall side of average. America in particular grows very large people in terms of both height and healthy weight. Six footers are proportionally rare in any country, and men over 6’6 are VERY rare.
I agree - my “type”, or what I intended to end up with, is nothing like my SO either. I always dreamt of a blue or green-eyed, muscular, built man. I ended up with a guy that has dark hair and dark eyes and slim and lithe - nothing like my dream. Except, of course, that he is tall. That was of course not negotiable. 
I mean, I dumped my previous SO, who was only 5’7", solely because of his height. Or it could have been because he was attached completely to his mama’s apron strings and I didn’t feel like competing with another strong woman. Whatever - you take your pick!
There is no difference in my mind between a woman who will not consider a short man and a man who will not consider a woman unless she has big boobs. I’ve yet to meet a woman who is impressed by this attitude in a man.
The difference is that most guys in my experience don’t really care much about breast size while most women do care about height - at least to the point where they say he has to be “taller than I am.”
The thing is that you don’t need to date the entire female population. You just need to find one person. So while it’s certainly harder at 5’6’’ to find an accomplice it’s not impossible and you shouldn’t give up. And you shouldn’t hold others’ comments like “it makes me feel safe” against the next gal you meet. She may not feel that way at all.
Evolution has been at work for millions of years here. There is no sense in trying to change the world. You just have to accept that it’s going to be harder for you than the average man, but it is by no means impossible to find the right girl.
Mr. Kinnisen, that you?
For me, the height of a woman is not a factor on whether or not I am attracted to her. I also do not care about her ethnicity, skin color, eye color, size of her nose, size of her boobs, etc. Short of plastic surgery, those are things she has no control over, so (for me) they have no bearing on her attractiveness.
When it comes to attractiveness, I am only discriminate based on things she *has *control over, and lifestyle choices she has made. Examples of things I find unattractive include excessive body weight, cigarette smoking, and tattoos.
I think shorter women now days are starting to feel the heat for “only dating tall guys” and know that it’s becoming more and more frowned upon when shorter women refuse to date shorter men such as men that are like 5’8" 5’9" 5’10"5’11" and these women only say they will only date men that are 6’ and above. The media is HUGELY to blame for this. Shorter women have gotten away with it and it’s become socially acceptable for women to be so shallow and refuse to date men that are shorter than 6’ and now that men have caught on I think shorter women are feeling that they get lambasted, angry looks, disgusted looks when they refuse to date shorter men and only date these super tall men.
We all know women say the well why don’t men date the fatty’s well that’s not necessarily true plus fat can be lost and that’s the argument is height is height and cannot be changed. Tall is for tall people. Women that are tall date the taller men that’s just obvious but the shorter women date the shorter men but will still be significantly taller than you meaning men that are in the 5’8" to 5’11" range. We all know so many women turn their heads, do the pout and stomp, do the head turn and go ugh in disgust when they hear it but at the same time I think the shorter women are feeling the heat when they refuse the men in the 5’ range and only date 6’ and above. I think it’s becoming less socially acceptable.