What you might think though is that I have a fine selection of Rolex watches, would like to meet up with some American girls who haven’t seen me for quite some time and I go on spending sprees in large UK department stores with all the gift cards I’ve won :dubious:
Pharmaceuticals: not illegal, but imported from Canada
I’m in massive amounts of debt
I really, really want a big penis
I read Korean or Chinese or something
Evidently I’ve also recently learned German
I used to be a Spanish-speaking Bonsai enthusiast
I’m fond of French medical journals (hey, at least I do actually read French!)
I still really really want a big penis (or at least enough v1/\gr@ to make it look big for a few hours)
I really like watching porn, porn and more porn in all its infinite varieties. Guess I have to find something to do with my measly limp schlong.
Interestingly, nobody is offering me a chance to have the gender-reassignment surgery which provide me with the penis. Someone needs to get their spam sorted out so I start with the first step, otherwise none of the others will do me any good!
When I’m not watching porn, I want to start a business for Christians only.
And my Citibank card has been hacked quite a lot lately (maybe that’s why their financial news was so dire earlier this week). I guess someone must gotten my Citibank info when they hacked my Paypal account, 10 times in the same day.
You obviously have very high quality spam. Languages indeed! {applause}
I forgot about the bank accounts. My Bank One account has been severely compromised. Paypal have been very persistent in their notifications of violation, showing they really are my friends and they want the best for me.
One thing that occurs to me is that despite all of the offers and opportunities presented to me by well-meaning compassionate people, I fail to respond to any of them. What does that say about me? An I afraid to improve my life? Do I set out to fail?
Strange, when I come to work I transform from the spendthrift cad above to someone who can’t even keep his own bank account secure, give the plethora of messages I get in the same vein as your own.
Reminds me though, when I used to work in an office dealing with students from abroad, I did get lots of spam from Nigeria. But uniquely it was of the form “I am poor student, please give me funding god bless” and not of the “help me with my bank account” type.
I’m really, really lucky! I keep winning all these gift cards to Target, Best Buy, Victoria’s Secret, etc., not to mention the four or five BMWs I’ve won lately! When you call me to congratulate me, my cell phone will virtually erupt with all the cool ringtones I’ve downloaded.
I’m grateful for all the gift cards, because they’ll keep me from running up the credit card debt I’m apparently so desperate to consolidate.
For a while, I was receiving e-greetings from all sorts of semi-secret admirers. Rather than identify themselves by name, each of these folks simply claimed to be “an old girlfriend”, “a co-worker”, “an ex-neighbor”, “a relative”, or whatever description applied.
My friends make fun of my tiny penis (I wonder if I should tell them I haven’t got one, that’s why it’s so small).
However, Janie says that Suzy really loves her new thick dick, so perhaps I am being courted toward gender reassignment?
Someone in here is telling me stories of Aeschylus whilst simultaneously suggesting I purchase pharmaeceuticals.
At the moment my spam isn’t really all that exciting. There was a period where I was a lesbian, then a lesbian into bestiality, then a very conservative Republican. I want to know who was getting my address and how.
I’m a lesbian again. I wasn’t for several weeks. Maybe it has to do with the phases of the moon. (And yet, even though I’m a lesbian, I have a tiny penis. I guess I’m a total freak.)
Maybe I can use some of my UK lottery winnings to straighten myself out.
I have a tiny penis that women point and laugh at and I don’t do anything about it, even though I am told repeatedly what I need to buy to do it and how to use it.
I am thought to have an inordinate interest in obtaining Canadian pharmaceuticals at low, low prices, despite already living here and having plenty of access to them anyway.
I know a lot of people with strange names who speak by conjugating completely random words, or by quoting random passages from various texts, apparently to no higher purpose than the simple joy of typing.
I also know a lot of people who can’t spell a damn thing correctly.
Everyone wants me to have a Rolex or Cartier for low, low prices, which I suppose I can afford because I have more guaranteed money-making stock tips than I can handle.
