I’d actually enjoy going in for a job interview. And explaining my qualifications would be a breeze ::ZZZZZIP::.
Clairol’s hair care division suffers, their market share hit by the proliferation of ‘leave-in conditioner’
:o
:coy smile:
I would be amazingly hot, on account of my being bisexual, I would never ever ever be aloud to take off my heels no matter what/who I’m doing, my four roommates would be much more fun 
, French class would be utterly fascinating …
… pregnancy rates around the world would plummet as a result of semen being habitually deposited on the face rather than elsewhere … everyone would make guitar faces during sex no matter what sound they’re making, Spice Channel would cut minutes out of our life here and there, and man oh MAN would I be sunburned.
Oh, and I’d save a fortune on undies.
The pregnancy rate would drop down to almost zero, with every guy pulling out at the last minute.
Forget dot-coms, tech stocks and big oil. The stock to own is that of companies making black laquer furniture!
Every woman in Japan would dress like a schoolgirl. Rope would be the country’s largest export, followed by penlight-sized vibrators.
As for my luck, I’d probably end up delivering pizza to Mistress Javelina’s house, and getting my you-know-what naled to a 2x4. Sigh.
coxing the men’s rowing team at university would be a LOT more fun than it is at the moment.
can you say 8 hot n’ hard teenage gym bunnies?
My Czech girlfriend would have only one name, my Hungarian girlfriend would have a French name, and my German girlfriend would have an English name. When I spoke, my Italian words would sound English and there would be Dutch subtitles popping up at ankle level all the time.
I could say out loud all the awful, sexist, bordering on offensive stuff I currently only think to myself when I see attractive women and I would actually get laid instead of smacked afterward!
Plus, there would be a lot of close-ups of my face making Nigel Tufnel impressions.
My penis would be smaller. 
A big, curly white-guy 'fro, polyester shirt unbuttoned to my navel with lapels out to here, some vaguely zodiac-y gold pendants, flared blue denim trousers with a crease ironed in, multi-toned fruitwood platform shoes…
But enough about me now. If I was in porn I’d probably have a cheesy moustache too.
I’d have more than one hot Swedish babe after me.
[sub]And I guess my sig would be “Ohhhhhhhhh yes!” – Anniz[/sub]
I’d have my pubic hair shaved into a perfect landing strip.
I would have had a way out of that last speeding ticket.
The (neighbor’s) pool boy would be a teenage hunk, rather than the aging toad he in fact is.
I’d move all the time, too. Good suggestion. Mmmm… movers…
Any woman who had a car break down at the side of the road would summon help by bending over the fender, with her head under the hood and her ass out in traffic. Payment for repairs would take place right then and there.
There would be a lot more leather shops around.
…going to work would be a lot more fun!
I would be getting laid with alarming frequency. Every time an attractive customer needed to check out their purchases. Oh, and since life is now more porn-like, most, if not all, customers would now fall under the “attractive” category.
Of course, on the down side, I’d know about half the words I do now, and would converse with significantly reduced frequency and fluency.
“Did you order this pizza.”
“Yeah. How much is it?”
“How big is the tip gonna be?”
Bow chikka bow chikka chikka bow bow…
All my teachers would be amazingly hot and somehow doing extra credit or that “special project” after school would be a lot more fun.
Kitty
Brian wouldn’t have been at home when I came over this evening to pick up the tent and you would have thanked me for giving you that air conditioner…
…or you would have insisted that we set up the tent to make sure it works…and I’d be lying in it…
ok, gotta go take a cold shower right now…
I wouldn’t ever have sex…'cuz I’d be too busy watching all the suddenly-hot-and-bisexual women having sex with each other 
…
[sub]Well…maybe I would join in once in a while…[/sub]
Than i really would be “The Carpenter of Love”
I’d have my own personal bitch who was amazing in bed, wanted me all the time and always be up for a quickie…
Hey…wait…real life is like porn!
~Kittie