If the Lost finale were written by Dopers

First off, I’d like to state that I ran this by the powers that be here, and their response was that this sort of thread is not only permitted, it’s actually encouraged by the developers of Lost.

Now that that’s clear, I’d like to take a second to make a few requests.

REQUEST #1: Understand that this is not another thread for making your Lost predictions. This is a thread for showing your Lost predictions. If you, as a Doper, were writing the script, how might you present the final episode?

REQUEST #2: Please do not “correct” someone’s formatting (unless it’s simply unreadable). This is not a thread for discussing proper screenplay formatting. It’s also not a thread for discussing grammar, spelling, or punctuation. We’re all just trying to have some fun here.

REQUEST #3: Present as much or as little as you like, in whatever format you like. You can use standard screenplay formatting, a simplified screenplay formatting, a straight prose format, whatever you want–as long as you’re telling a story. Give us a scene, an entire episode, one conversation, a single powerful literary image–whatever you like. Play it straight, play it for laughs, snark on the tropes, mix it up–whatever floats your boat.

REQUEST #4: Give us a quick setup for your piece. Since this thread deals with the absolute last episode, we have no idea how things will go on the show between now and then. So give us a few broad statements on how your version got to where it is.

REQUEST #5: Please keep your contributions roughly within the realm of the established Lost universe. Boone could return to life or to some semblance thereof, Walt to come back to the island, and the Whispers could turn out to be the voices of Angels–but Will and Holly should not battle the Smoke Monster with their Flyswatter.

SETUP: Most of the surviving Losties are on the main island. They spent the night and are preparing to depart in the submarine with the morning light. Everyone is already onboard, but Locke / MIB is taking one last look around.
EXT.   THE ISLAND – SUBMARINE DOCK – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

The sun comes up behind peaceful green mountains and the sea glows yellow with the tropical sunrise. LOCKE stands beside the submarine’s open hatch and takes one final look around the island. He almost smiles as he turns and begins to climb down the hatch.

A blast of static erupts from the open hatch and Locke is driven backwards onto the wooden dock. He lands on his back, hands pressed against his ears.

LOCKE
No! Don’t!
INT.   SUBMARINE INTERIOR – HATCH LADDER – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

SAWYER and KATE kneel at the bottom of the hatch. They hold an emitter salvaged from the sonic fence.

Sayid stands nearby, operating a jury-rigged control panel. He and Sawyer share a meaningful look, then Sayid pulls the plug on the device with his foot. He grabs a large sack, then elbows past Sawyer. He rushes up the ladder, emerging…
EXT.   THE ISLAND – SUBMARINE DOCK – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

…from the hatch. He dives for the narrowest part of the dock, emptying the sack in mid-air. He checks his work and sees that a thick layer of ash now covers the walkway from side to side. Catlike, he rolls over to confront Locke.

SAWYER (O.S.)
It’s the only way, Freckles.
Thanks, Sayid.

The hatch door slams shut, and Locke looks back-and-forth from the line of ash to the water on each side.

The submarine submerges and sails for open water.
INT.   SUBMARINE INTERIOR – ENGINE ROOM – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

A pipe union leaks greenish fluid. The leak grows larger.
INT.   SUBMARINE INTERIOR – SUB’S BRIDGE – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

MOST OF THE SURVIVING LOSTIES (including VINCENT) crowd around a console.

JACK holds a block of plastic explosive. Plugged into the block is a small electrical device with a red button marked “Execute”. It makes the SUB CAPTAIN uncomfortable.

JACK
We’re on the right heading?

FRANK
That’s not something you’d mess up twice, believe me.

Desmond visibly relaxes.
EXT.   THE ISLAND – SUBMARINE DOCK – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

Locke roars at the heavens. It begins to rain. Black specks float around him. The specks become wisps of smoke.

Locke roars again, but his voice is drowned out by the SMOKE MONSTER sounds. Rain runs down Locke’s face until it is obscured by smoke. Lightning begins to flash within the swirling blackness.

Sayid stands defiantly on the dock.

The Smoke Monster plows into Sayid, crushing him to the ground.

Sayid is lifted by a smokey tendril and thrown through the air. He sails over the water and crashes onto the grassy beach.
EXT.   THE ISLAND – THE GRASSY BEACH NEAR THE DOCK – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

Sayid lies battered and bleeding. Waves wash over his feet. He twitches feebly and manages to raise his head. The smoke monster sounds stop. Locke walks toward Sayid.

LOCKE
There were never any rules, Mr. Jarrah. Well, there are, but right now, there’s only one that matters.

Sayid stares soulfully at Locke.

LOCKE (cont’d)
You mean to keep me locked on this island. But no. No, you’re done keeping me on this island.
See, Sayid, I’ve been here so long that I’m beginning to forget my purpose in the wider world.

Locke frowns at Sayid, who regards Locke calmly.

SAYID
That is not all you have forgotten.

Locke is puzzled.

CLAIRE coldcocks Locke with a pipe wrench. She is dripping wet.

Locke falls to his knees. He grabs Claire’s wrist and disarms her, then twists her arm into a hammerlock.

CLAIRE
(struggling)
My baby! My baby!

LOCKE
That–
(beat)
Now, you shouldn’t have–

Claire stabs Locke in the leg with a veternary-grade hypodermic.
EXT.   THE ISLAND – HYPODERMIC CLOSEUP – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

The hypo is filled with grey ash floating in a watery medium.

The plunger is pressed.

Smoke Monster sounds begin.
INT.   SUBMARINE INTERIOR – ENGINE ROOM – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

The pipe union leaks more green fluid. The union falls off and the fluid gushes out of the pipe.
EXT.   THE ISLAND – THE GRASSY BEACH – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

The Smoke Monster writhes on the grass. Threads of scarlet shoot through its smokey body. Its sounds become harsher, like metal grating on metal. It wraps itself around a palm tree, tears it up by the roots, then speeds off into the jungle.

Claire helps the bleeding Sayid to his feet, and they head into the jungle.
INT.   SUBMARINE INTERIOR – SUB’S BRIDGE – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

Conversations and meaningful looks ensue. Kate full-on kisses HUGO, right on the mouth. Jack fiddles with his bomb. Sawyer shows off his baby blues. ROSE and BERNARD comfort each other.

Alarms sound and red lights flash. The submarine stops, it’s dead in the water.

SUB CAPTAIN
We have a major coolant leak. We can’t risk using the engines until it’s fixed.

Jack sulks. Kate looks worried. Sawyer cusses. Rose and Bernard perk right up.

HUGO
Dude…
INT.   THE ISLAND – THE LIGHTHOUSE – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

A column of sickly, but very pissed-off, smoke blasts through the lighthouse. Bits of Smokey turn blood-red and drop off, only to evaporate into red mist. All remaining glass shatters into dust. The gigantic dial is ripped free and slammed through the floor. The building collapses upon itself.
EXT.   THE ISLAND – THE OLD WELL – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

Rocks and dirt settle as the old well shaft slowly reopens.
INT.   THE ISLAND – THE FROZEN DONKEYWHEEL CHAMBER – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

The Smoke Monster roars into the icy chamber. Yellow light spills through the slot holding the donkeywheel. Smokey, still pissed-off and losing a lot more crimson bits, brings the roof down on the contraption, then escapes through the tunnels.
EXT.   THE ISLAND – AERIAL VIEW OF THE ISLAND – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

The Smoke Monster rises impossibly high into the sky, as a burst of flame erupts from the Orchid Station, followed by another from the Pearl. Then the sky turns purple and a shockwave ripples across land and sea.
INT.   SUBMARINE INTERIOR – SUB’S BRIDGE – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

The sub rocks with the shockwave, and everyone is tossed about.

SAWYER
Rose, you know that was an accident. I would never…

ROSE
Just what are you trying to say, James?

SAWYER
Nothin’. Nevermind.
EXT.   THE ISLAND – AERIAL VIEW OF THE ISLAND – ISLAND TIMELINE – DAY

The Smoke Monster writhes in the sky, chunks of him dissolving into red mist.

Time jumping white flashes pop on and off like a strobe.

Smokey dives toward the earth.
EXT.   THE ISLAND – A ROCK IN THE JUNGLE – 1950s TIMELINE – DAY

Claire drops Sayid onto a big rock. Their noses are all but gushing blood.

Claire pulls out two veternary-grade hypos full of the same ashy fluid. Claire injects Sayid as Sayid injects Claire.

They share a last meaningful look as RICHARD, who has no nosebleed, but who does have a horse, arrives. Claire collapses against Sayid. Sayid’s eyes cloud with crimson, then he falls over onto Claire.
EXT.   THE ISLAND – FOUR-TOED STATUE – 1950s TIMELINE – DAY

Smokey is wrapped in a fine red mist as the monster obliterates the statue without pausing and rages toward the jungle.
EXT.   THE ISLAND – A ROCK IN THE JUNGLE – 1950s TIMELINE – DAY

Richard leads his horse down a jungle path. The bodies of Sayid and Claire are tied across its back.
EXT.   THE ISLAND – SOMEWHERE IN THE JUNGLE – 1950s TIMELINE – DAY

The smoke monster dissolves. There is nothing left of it but a smear of bloody oil on the grass.
INT.   THE ISLAND – THE CAMP CAVE – 1950s TIMELINE – DAY

Richard lays out the bodies of Sayid and Claire near the spring of water. He slips a pouch inside Sayid’s shirt, then turns and walks away.
EXT.   THE ISLAND – SOMEWHERE IN THE JUNGLE – 1950s TIMELINE – DAY

JACOB approaches the bloody grass. He regards it momentarily, then squats beside it.

JACOB
This is not your loophole.

Jacob touches the bloody smear.

[right]FADE TO WHITE:[/right]