I would wish that I lived in the SW universe and married a hot flyboy and had hot se><0r every night.
And that I had a tail. I don’t know why, but I think a tail would look cool.
No!
Sassy, the lesser HooHoo
I wish for the ability to make unrealistic, arbitrary demands of the cosmos.
Okay, you guys who want those monkey butlers… maybe the monkey butlers could serve cheese sandwiches at the party where my relatives come back from the dead! Heigh-ho, we all win!
Wish I wasn’t in such a fury at the moment, and could join in the fun, but right now I really wish that alcohol didn’t exist.
~V
Suddenly, I’m in a much bigger hurry to finish my Boba Fett costume and that R2D2 replica I’m building…
OK, my turn: I wish for a working Green Lantern ring, but without the stupid 24 hour waiting period or the yellow weakness.
Or, barring that, a new computer for Flamsterette_X.
Res, what can I say? You’re sweet, because you took my as yet unformed wish and made it known to the denizens of this message board. On the other hand, you’re freaky since you already knew what I was going to say. Whichever it is, I like you fine, anyways. 
So, since Res has taken my first wish, here are some of my alternative wishes
I wish happy marriages for all my friends.
For myself, I wish that I wasn’t feeling the way I am right now.
I also wish that I had the unconditonal love of people in my life.
I wish that the kids at church would talk to me more. (they’re so cute, and I love them)
I wish that I could have a good relationship with someone. (not likely to happen in this life)
I wish that my friends would always be there for me.
I wish that my parents weren’t the way they are.
I wish for good and safe trips for my friends who are travelling now.
I have more, but perhaps they should be saved for a later time.
F_X
I dunno… will your returned dead relatives be in any stage of decomposition? Cause if so… I might not be hungry for the cheese sammiches…
I’m thinking the dead relatives in question may be a bit dusty and slightly worse for wear, Goph, but unless we use one of those monkey butler’s paws to call them back, we should be okay.
Hot Dog! Got my wish! All of yours are coming shortly! (if it doesn’t come, that means you must have done something wrong! :D)
I wish I had a friend.
I wish for a life without consequences or responsibility. Barring that, adamantine claws ala wolverine and a space ship that can do warp speed so I can do my Spaceman Spiff thing, oh and also I’ll need a map to show me where the interesting places are.
I wish that a Mother Bear would tell me a story.
That’s only a little wish, so I might be able to have it.
Otherwise, I wish for one of the monkey butlers. And a typewriter.
Man, now I wish this monkey would stop jumping on my head and shut up and get me some aspirin.
My wish is to be dependently wealthy. I hear a lot of talk about being independently wealthy, and I always wanted to know what the alternative would entail…
Only one wish? I’m supposed to get three–that’s the rules!
- I want my own house.
- I want to lose weight and never ever gain it back again
- I want a nifty wrist killing-thingie that looks like a scorpion and goes <zing!><thwack!>.
I wish one of two things … that I could have a relationship with a girl that I know that I find to be beautiful and wonderful and caring and amazing … or just get over this fucking crush.
For me? Either true love, or money. Preferably both.
But, since in all likelihood, I’m going to die alone, I might as well just wish for money.
Ranchoth
(I’d just want to never have to eat processed lunch meat again.)
Wait…wait…we all know that wishes have to have an ironic twist attached to them, because we didn’t use quite the right phrasing. Ergo:
-Gopher God turns into that old guy from those financial commercials. You know: “We make money the old fashioned way. We earn it.”
-The Southampton football club just won free movie tickets.
-Johnny L.A. gets his own helicopter, but it’s in the bottom of a parking garage and he has no way of getting it out.
-gatopescado gains a pound every time someone makes a wish.
-MachV is on an uncontrollable, laser-filled rampage. The military is currently after him.
-Ukelele Ike either turns into a cheese sandwhich, or is attacked by zombie cheese, or the cheese is a little dry.
-DAVEW007 finds himself on the Planet of the Apes. The Mark Wohlberg version.
-Creaky’s relatives are climbing out of their crypts. She forgot to wish them back to health, too. 
-Lodrain is gifted with a cat so cute, she can’t stand it. It’s got huge cartoon eyes and perpetually demands attention.
-kat gets a million elephants and a little dollar, and a monkey that writes bad poetry.
-Guinastasaia ends up with Porkins. And she gets more of a stump than a tail.
-I’m out of ironic punishments. Please, continue. Go nuts.
Heeee!!! Excellent!!! I love when magic goes bad!!