Esprix, as usual, is the voice of homosexual wisdom. 
ps: Chicks ** do** totally dig gay guys. I’d wager the only reason that you’re not beating off the honeys with a stick is that they’re scared to make the first move. Trust me. Another Sienfeld quote is in order:
Elaine: I’ve found the perfect man. It’s all sex and shopping!
Trust me.
Esperix,
I respect your opinion alot, but I never said that parental relationships led to sexual orientation. never. I would be the first person to say that it has no effect. I’d like you to point out where I said that, so I’ll be sure to never say it again.
However, we are all a product of our environment. I dont believe in the slightest that SkySlasher is gay. I never said that the qualities he attributes to himself were in anyway homosexually orientated.
He asked a question about what could have influenced him. I asked a question concerning his parents, and if there was,
and I’ll use my own words here
“so called ‘Male’ role model in his childhood”
SqrlCub answered this question (to the best of his knowledge).
I never intended to offend him. If I did, I’m sorry.
If I didnt make my post clear enough for you, esperix, well them, I’m sorry for that too.
but please dont put words in my mouth.
**Id rather be no one than someone with no one **
sorry, just one more thing I for got to add:
I wouldnt doubt that for a minute.
**Id rather be no one than someone with no one **
If your primary role model was your mother then you may have more female characteristics .
“Men are like parking spaces, the available ones are handicapped.”
No advice, just observation:
There are a couple of reasons why straight guys afraid of being homosexual. But one of the main reasons is that men are, as a whole, terribly afraid of not living up to society’s expectation of being a “man”. And this inward fear can be easily turned outward as aggression against anyone who doesn’t pass the “masculine” test.
You see all the time in pop culture “Are you man enough?” etc. There are few motivating forces as powerful as making a man think he’s not a real man unless he does something. I would go so far as to say this is the main way countries get soldiers to fight in wars.
So to a straight, American male, the homosexual’s main offense is being not a real man. So you see the stereotype that gays are sissies, when in real life many gays work out, play sports, etc. The fact that gay men have, on average, larger penises than straight men simply doesn’t seem logically possible for most guys.
Consider an American male who does not fit into the cultural definition of masculine. He doesn’t play sports, he doesn’t get in fights, and he isn’t interested in cars. Perhaps he sews and cooks and does other things which fit into the cultural definition of feminine. That male may be persecuted just as much as a true homosexual, because to mainstream American culture, being gay isn’t just who you have sex with. Texas homophobes would beat up a man who wore a dress, even if he had a girlfriend. It might even make it worse if he had an attractive girlfriend because then, in their minds, this “half-man” would be taking a woman he didn’t deserve.
(For what it’s worth, women also undergo tremendous pressure to be real women. This doesn’t usually come out as homophobia though. In America, “real” women are those who are attractive to men, so lipstick lesbians pass the test. The pariahs of the female world are the unattractive and the overweight, not the gay.)
So the bottom line is, if you don’t mold yourself to conform to America’s definition of your sex role, you will be persecuted for it. Sorry, it’s just the truth. On the other hand, you’ll have my respect, but I don’t know how much of a consolation prize that is.
Your Quadell
You available?
E.
“Black holes were created when God divided by 0” ~Wally
Okay, now that I’m not drunken with the need for sleep…
My roommate is straight, but he’s got the same sort of problem. He didn’t hit on women, he doesn’t know much about cars, doesn’t play any sports. For some reason he talks much more comfortably about homosexual things, than hetero…
He isn’t gay, it took me months to convince myself this. We used to give him hell, because he sure didn’t seem to be after women, we called him ‘mono sexual’ as in only havng sex with himself? I dunno we were in highschool. He took a hell of a beating from us. I think the reason he took it so easily was because he IS comfortable with himself, and the way he is. If someone is interpretting his character wrongly, he tells them. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it though. This term i found out the lil bugger is getting laid more than me too.
Damn him… stupid… nevermind that…
Its not so bad, play up those good skills/talents be yourself.
3 Rules for life.
BTW>. There are enough hours in the day to sew, cook, clean, do laundry, watch football, work on the car, haul lumber, whistle at girls… the whole nine yards… I do it all the time. I just makes for a busy day 
and ** Esprix [/B} it STILL give me chills when someone says this…
Not because I’m very straight, but because, I’ve seen how much the media has embellished the stereo type. I can just see a waving hand, and a lisp. I also hate the world child in reference to anyone over the age of 10
Allright!! Theres my … oh… .04 worth.
Have a good day. Good luck with your problem bud. Everyone deserves a little happiness.
OgreFade
“Yeah, whatever makes you happy, yeah, whatever makes it beautiful, yeah whatever leaves you satisfied, cuz I’m out of time for now…” --Yeah whatever, by Splender
A-freaking-MEN! One of my best friends in the world is a gay man. He’s basically the male version of me. Which is REALLY scary.
Anyway, to SkySlash: as many people here have said, don’t worry about it. If a woman is turned off by you appearing “gay” without talking to you, you’re honestly better off without her. Besides…you sound freaking PERFECT to me!!
Homepage: www.tiercel.com
Occupation: Culling slow moving vermin
Location: The wild blue yonder.
Interests: Thermals, updrafts, downdrafts, air currents in general.
(Profile by UncleBeer.)
I am not a flightless waterfowl! I am a human being! (Or is that an aperyx? :))
I didn’t say you did. I said it in relationship to the fact that parents have an equal amount of influence over behavioral development as anything else in a child’s life. I was talking about parental influence over different aspects of someone’s development, not quoting what you said (i.e., “parents influence behavior almost as little as they influence orientation”). My apologies if I gave anyone the impression that was what you said.
And I’ll say again that parents have influence over a child’s development, but I wouldn’t think enough to “cause” someone to turn out overly masculine or overly feminine. I think if you count a parent’s influence in addition to all the other influences in our lives - friends, school, church, society, heroes, enemies, TV, ad nauseum - then you might be able to figure out why someone is the way they are. (I have no sources for this, this is only what seems to make sense to me - somebody correct me if I’m wrong.)
Further to the point, though (and this is directed at everyone) - who cares? I doubt realizing his mother was overly influential in his behavioral development would affect his current behavior one iota. Would he suddenly “butch up” with this realization?
And even more to the point, it is other people who have a problem with the way he behaves, not him. He shouldn’t feel guilty about it, nor should he change, nor should he feel pressured to change. He is what he is - so what? Let other people get over their stereotypes and accept him for who he is.
Esprix
Ask the Gay Guy! (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, Asketh the damn Priest Guy!)
I hesitate to post this, since it has nothing to do with me, but…
Esprix, I don’t recall a single post in this thread that suggested SkySlash should change in any way, let alone “butch up”. He posted about a very personal topic, and it seems natural to me that some might ask probing questions.
You are right that looking into relationships with parents might not prove helpful. But who knows, it might in some way. I, for one, have always had an easier time relating to men than to women (the opposite of SS’s case) because of a close relationship with my father and a very strained relationship with my mother. I have had to deal with those things in order to be successful in relationships with women. It has nothing to do with my sexuality or my masculinity, but it has had quite an effect on my happiness.
for what it’s worth…
Ignorant since 1972
Work is fine for killin’ time, but it’s a shaky way to make a living.
Trion said:
That was one of my thoughts. Initial impressions can have a significant effect on your future dealings with an individual. I don’t really know your situation, Sky, but it sounds like you’ve got a friend or two that you might consider losing - or, at the least, you might consider developing some other relationships that are a bit more mutually supportive. I did have a circle of acquaintance when I was younger that included some jerks and I finally learned that I could make other friends. I can’t imagine cutting a friend in the presence of new acquaintance, nor would any of my friends do that to me (but I have been there with jerk friends in the long ago past) - we tend to build each other where we can, or leave it alone if we can’t.
My first pass thought would be that any individual that would put you in that situation must be a little uncomfortable with what they themselves have to offer socially, and might seek gain by hanging on you some weight.
Maybe I’m missing something, but the above really seems to be the primary issue you’re confronting.
On stereotypes and misconceptions…
From SqrlCub
I’ve lived 20 years in the Montrose area of Houston and have had the same preconception rear up manny a time. BFD. But, it does come up.
I don’t qualify for the neat as a pin, you must be gay stereotype, but I’ve had to deal with miscasting. In the early ‘80s my next door neighbor, who was a friend of my recently-departed-from-the-state brother, started calling me to moan about his live-in boyfriend puttin’ on the distance (“he needs his ‘space’” etc.). What struck me at the time was how much his plaintive calls sounded just like my straight friends’ cries when they were getting the frigidaire treatment from a gal. Oh, well, that’s an aside. Anyway, the day came that his now ex-boyfriend was having his family come over to move him out and my neighbor called me at work to ask me if I’d come over and just be “someone who’s on my side.” Sure, WTF. So I go stand beside him for an hour while ex and ma and pa and siblings shuffle furniture out to a rented van. When they’re all done and gone, he says’ “I could sure use a beer!” I responded that that was fine and where should we go. He wanted to go to Mary’s, which is one of the oldest gay bars in Houston (one everybody knows of), so we did. We had a couple of beers and decided to go somewhere where we might both fit in. Mary’s is located on a very busy intersection and when I pulled out of the parking lot, I could only get halfway into the street until the light changed. So, I’m sitting in my car, halfway pulled out of Mary’s onto Westheimer on a busy Friday night, with this body-builder fag (E & S - don’t even think about givin’ me any shit about using the term ‘fag’ - every fag I know uses it) with a muscle beach t-shirt and a big handlebar mustache stretched out on the seat next to me and I hear a ‘beep-beep’. I look over and the car that’s letting me in holds an accountant from the company I worked for, who’s waving (wristily).
Interior: “Ah, FUCK!”
Exterior: Wave back and smile, and don’t look at him again.
Well, I soon realized that, in the accounting department, I was incontrovertibly perceived as gay. There wasn’t really any point in trying to counter it. Just c’est la vie and move on.
.
I’ve a few gay friends (out of the many I’ve known, only three have really been friends - and that doesn’t include the guy mentioned above), and many gay acquaintance, and that has been a bit of a dog to deal with on some occasions. I’ve also a friend who is initially perceived as gay by many, although he has the most incredible girlfriend history.
I don’t know pal, it really seems to me that you’ve got a jerk friend situation working more than anything else. But it is hard to get a real feel for a personal situation off of these posts.
Don’t change yourself if you’re happy with what you are and what you do (any guy that post a ‘free myself from my ego’ message has to be reasonably self satisfied), just work into an environment that compliments your abilities.
I hope this isn’t all redundant, Sky.
Good luck!
…Not that there’s anything werong with it.
Yer pal,
Satan
JohnLarrigan said, "SqrlCub answered this question (to the best of his knowledge).
I never intended to offend him. If I did, I’m sorry."
No offense taken before or after. I just thought I should point out something that was said earlier.
Back to the issue of neighborhoods, beatle mentioned that their is a preconceived notion of being gay if you live in a gay neighborhood. That’s true. Well, you can have the last laugh beatle as your property value drastically increases whereas most of your straight friends properties remain about the same. Gay men, in general, tend to move into places for their potential, not for their current value. In DC, the Dupont area was originally dirt cheap and run down, now it is one of the desired places to live for yuppies who have slowly been taking over all the gay hangouts.
Of course. It also seems natural that someone might question those questions as irrelevant horse hockey.
Doubtful. SkySlash, what do you think?
Esprix
Ask the Gay Guy! (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, Asketh the damn Priest Guy!)
Grace wrote:
“Hide the water hose”? Is that anything like “hide the salami”? 
But seriously, folks…
I am a heterosexual male. However:
[list=1][li]I like ABBA.[/li][li]I like stage musicals, particularly those by Andrew Lloyd Webber.[/li][li]The house I almost bought had track lighting in it.[/li][li]I never went out for sports in school.[/li][li]I sang tenor in all my schools’ choruses.[/li][li]I drive a gold-colored 1993 Saturn wagon, even though I could afford a “Testosterone Torpedo”.[/li][li]I haven’t had a date with a woman in over a year.[/li][li]I have never been to a “binge party”, whatever that is.[/li][li]I recently picked out a gorgeous chandelier, converted it to a swag lamp, and hung it up in my family room.[/li][li]I do not like wrestling or Baywatch.[/li][li]I have a sewing machine I bought from a garage sale, and have even used it to try to patch a hole in one of my pants pockets. (At which point I discovered that the thingy that’s supposed to advance the fabric between strokes is broken.)[/li][li]Like SkySlash, I was a good student in school, obeyed the rules, and made excellent grades. (Well, okay, I did act up a little in my 9th grade Spanish class, but Mr. Martinez deserved it. 
)[/li][li]I can cook well enough to make everything I like to eat. Except that’s not saying much, as I have the diet range of an 8-year-old.[/list=1][/li]
… and despite all this, I still have no desire to start dating men.
Hey, SkySlash, buddy-boy, you owe me one! I’ve been trying to hook you up in my Gay Guy thread! Go read it and see!
Esprix, doing his best to keep heterosexuals humpin’
Ask the Gay Guy! (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, Asketh the damn Priest Guy!)
Hehe I am the exact inverse of the OP and have the same things happen to me.
I am a totally straight male.
I also nauturaly have a personality that fits every guy sterotype.
I am a huge slob, I have no problem going to a fancy restaurant, in a stained and smelly shirt and ripped jeans. I comb my hair about one a week
My refrigerator consists of 2 year old mayonaise, a couple of packets of hot sauce from taco bell, and is currently in the process of recreating the plant kingdom, but it doesn’t really matter as long as my freezer has room to keep hot pockets, which I have eaten most every day sine i got out of college.
I love hockey, football, nascar, heavy metal music, and big dogs.
I cant stand anything cultural, really get bored watching womens sports(except the nude variety), hate cats, and my definition of hell is being forced to watch figure skating, or the opera.
I love cars. I love being upto my elbows in grease rebuilding a carburator.I have a 70 mustang that is currently waiting till I find a 428 cobra jet that I can stuff in it(More power!!! uhhh uhhh uhhh).
I love tools, I can easly spend three hours walking around the sears tool department drooling, and get in arguments about whether Milwaukee, Ryobi, or Makita is the best value for your money.
I am an unashamed sleezeball, I have no problem leaving my Playboys on the table when girls or friend’s parents come over, and will make a comment about a girls as’s as soon as she is out of earshot, no matter what the company im in.
I drink beer or jack daniels straight, no chaser. Cant stand any alcoholic beverage that is sweet whatsoever.
And the problem is that people don’t believe that is who I actually am. People are always “accusing” me of acting as straight as possible, becuase I must be trying to hide the fact that I’m really gay(stupid wanna-be psychologists. And there is no way to convince that I really do fit every sterotype naturally. And as the other posters have said the perception is not a problem, but it leads to some really akward situations when people try to get me to admit my “true” nature.
http://members.home.net/ashbrooke/summer4.jpg
Thats me…do I look gay or something?
-SS
If “knowledge is power,” why does stupidity reign?
Sky - I hate to have to tell you this but … you look a lot like Esprix.
Maybe it’s just me.
“My mind reels with sarcastic replies!” - Snoopy
