If you could have lost your virginity to any celebrity from any time, who do you choose?

In My Humble Opinion
1

So a cosmic being appears before you the moment you first think you’d like to lose your virginity. In a pocket reality outside of space and time, any celebrity you choose will appear before you and magically desire you. It can be any celebrity living or dead from any point (18 or older) in their lives. When the deed is done, you’ll zap back into your reality without risk of STDs or pregnancy, just because this cosmic being is a cool guy. The celebrity you screwed in that pocket reality will cease to exist as they were just a momentary clone plucked from time and programmed to desire you.

You can choose more than one if you’d like, but then the cosmic being gets to watch. Them’s the breaks.

I think I’d go with Julia Ormond circa 1995. Beautiful, obviously, but she seems like she’d be pleasant about the whole thing and not at all intimidating. Which would really be what I was looking for ideally. I wouldn’t want to bite off more than I could chew in regards to kinks and that sort of thing. If I recall correctly, I think I would have been more than ready by the time I was 15. Elizabeth Taylor circa 1957 was a very close runner up, but I just couldn’t bear to have the cosmic being watching us from a folding chair in the corner.

2

I’d want to know who was a considerate, kind, and gentle lover first!

Or maybe one of the actors I find hot these days. I don’t know that I’d want someone from the distant past unless I knew they were ok with a passionate woman who wasn’t afraid of her feelings.

3

Viggo Mortenson, at any time in his adult life. He just gives off a vibe of super sex.

4

As a teen, I’d have said Micky Dolenz when the Monkees were on TV. He was so cute and so funny.

In my 20s, it would have been Harrison Ford, but only dressed as Han Solo.

Of course, as a cynical adult, I figure both would have been huge disappointments because reality never seems to live up to my fantasies…

5

I’m not going to overthink it. Johnny Depp, please. Hot *and *sensitive, and if he’s a totally selfish lover, I’d be very surprised.

6

Audrey Hepburn. Didn’t even have to think about it.

7

Actually not a bad idea, and he seems like he’d be kind, too.

So. True.

8

Carole Lombard. Gorgeous, funny and down to earth. If she was good enough for both William Powell and Clark Gable, she’s good enough for me.

9

John Cusack or Johnny Depp, I can’t decide.

10

I’m going with mid-1950s Gregory Peck, and if I can choose more than once, Mr. Cosmic can watch all he likes.

11

Jake Gyllenhaal, at any age. Gucking forgeous, and seems like he’d be really sweet in bed.

12

Why not both and make it memorable?

13

The American Beauty guy. You know, the game master with the funky beard from Hunger Games. He’d be a considerate lover, methinks. Plus I looooove black hair and blue eyes together.

14

Salma Hayek… as long as it’s her first time, too, so I don’t disappoint her terribly.

15

Erin Grey circa Buck Rogers.

16

The American Beauty girl. Assuming she was over 18, of course.

But around the time I lost my virginity, it would have been Jodie Foster.

17

Niki Taylor, circa 1996. Because that’s who I was thinking about anyways.

18

Good pick. Very good pick.

19

This was my very FIRST thought. I can’t believe anyone else is going for him. Can I make him wear his Aragorn costume and be all sweaty and unshaven?

20

Ahh, 1978, the year I lost my innocence to an older woman. She was 17 and babysitting down the street, and gave me a call. It was lovely and all, but if I were to pick perfection from that era, I’d go with either Debra Jo Fondren or Roberta Vasquez, both Playboy playmates from the olden days. You can Google their images for a clearer understanding of their assets, but perhaps not at work.

Not surprisingly, my high school GF was almost a clone of RV, and I married a cute young blonde with hair down to her knees like DJF.

Then again, what young man of the '70s could forget the adorable Farah Fawcett? I’d like to think she would have been kind and gentle with me. In fact, I’ll go think about it right now!