If you had a really cool and loving dad growing up, and found out as an adult he wanted you aborted; would you care?
This is a thing I’ve seen on TV shows a time or two (can’t remember what shows off the top of my head). In the shows, the child seems to always be upset.
To me, I don’t think I would care if he turned out to be a great dad. Heck, people can change. Especially after the baby is born.
Do you mean that after you grew up, he didn’t like the person you became, so he then wished that you were aborted as a fetus?
That would be cold, especially since he had been such a great dad while you were growing up. It would probably cause me to have a lot of introspection on the type of person I had become as an adult.
No.
I would think damn I almost didn’t get to find out how good steaks taste and how cool driving fast is with the wind blowing through my hair.
I’m pretty sure that would me a big Meh. I’m even a little nonplussed by your “people can change” remark (unless it was intended as a joke), because I don’t see a major connection between a married male not wanting an unborn child, and that male resenting the child after he/she is born.
I’m sure it happens, but it seems like an outlier.
I would be upset. It would basically be a complete rejection of my existence. That being said, perhaps time had changed his mind and he’d be a different person now than before.
What people think or want is far less important than what people do. Meh.
Domingo Montoya: “You’re WHAT? Abort!”
Miss Ma: “Nope, we’re married. How about you grow up and get a job. Daddy.”
Domngo Montoya: * after commiserating with his bros, says his farewells to Bro-dom, gets a real job, begins acting like a provider *
*** Later ***
Domingo Montoya: * having grown into his role as a provider gazes lovingly upon his newborn son, ups his sword-smithing game, is an excellent dad *
Having kids sucks. I can totally wrap my mind around some one not wanting kids and doing what they can to remain childless. If it doesn’t happen be a good parent and enjoy the suck. No damage here.
I was an “accident,” and for ail i know my parents considered aborting me. Seems like an appropriate conversation to have. Now, if he was an ass about it and made my mother feel bad, perhaps that would be different. Overall, I don’t think it’s any of my business.
A “really cool and loving father” would have been nice though. My father had many fine traits. Cool and loving weren’t two of them.
Meh. I’m more about what someone does than what they wanted to do.
Dad was frequently wrong about lots of stuff. I’ve never held it against him.
If he was a good father after I came out, no harm no foul.
Hard to say how I would react, but intellectually it doesn’t bother me at all.
I was the eldest and the possibility never arose. My mother had had a miscarriage and I was the replacement. Should I resent the fact that if her first pregnancy had been successful, I would never have been born at all?
But somewhat relevant is that after we had two children I wanted to stop and my wife wanted a third. After some negotiation we had that third. All three kids are my joy in life. I am so happy my wife persisted. My feelings after he was born were entirely different from my hesitation before. Taking all this into consideration, a person who finds out that a parent wanted to have them aborted should realize that feelings change completely after there is a real live human being out there.
Both my kids were unplanned, and threw a wrench in the plans I did have. So I can sympathize with Hypothetical Dad here. That said, I’m not a fan of abortion, so that was never something I personally considered, and I’m pretty sure neither did DrMom. I don’t really think less of people for considering abortion, however.
But yeah, if a man I looked up to and loved my whole life turned out to have advocated for my non-existence, even if I was sure they regretted that stance now, I’d be hurt. I wouldn’t do anything about it, except maybe talk, and I’d forgive the old man eventually, but I went with “gut punch” in the poll.
My dad wasn’t the greatest of dads, but he probably should have wanted me aborted (Not that he ever said so). Because getting involved with my mother was the number one dumbest thing he ever did, and he did a lot of dumb things in his life.
Never stick your dick in the crazy. Words to live by. And my family is a good object lesson there.
Meh. But, I’m with Inigo Montoya. “Meh” doesn’t cover how much of a non-issue this would be.
My dad wouldn’t have wanted me aborted. He wouldn’t have known me. He would have wanted my mother to have an abortion.
Similar to Hari Seldon, I was conceived after my mother had multiple miscarriages. I was the result of a high-risk pregnancy. At the time I was born, for a woman my mother’s age to carry a pregnancy to term was pretty rare, although it’s more common now. If she had successfully carried one of those earlier pregnancies to term, my parents almost certainly wouldn’t have tried to have me. Should I be upset that my parents wanted one of those never-to-be children “instead” of “me”?
Not to mention, I’m the product of a highly contingent and chaotic convergence of timing, genetic shuffling, in utero environmental effects, and so forth. It would make about as much sense to get upset if I found out that my father to wanted to try having children earlier, or later, or that he had different preferences regarding any of the million and one other factors that would have resulted in “me” not being born.
I would probably think I was a burden to him in that case. It would indicate that he was not happy or excited about having a kid and that he didn’t want to be in the role of a father. So even if he was a good dad, I would think he was likely doing it out of a sense of obligation rather than he wanted to be a dad. It would indicate he had enough integrity to make sure I had a good life and turned out okay, but I would feel bad for putting him through all the normal stress, expenses, loss of time, etc. that comes with being a parent.
No. I’d just refuse to go to the clinic.
I chose “other” because it wouldn’t be a gut punch, it would be a “Huh?”. It would certainly be a surprise, and it might take me a moment to grapple with the fact that, well, that anybody found out he wanted an abortion, because there would be no way in hell he would have mentioned such a thing to my mom. Plus, I have three younger siblings. If he was strongly wanting to stop at 1, how did 3, 4, and 5 happen?
By the time I got done sorting through all that confusion, the time to get my gut punched would have long since passed, if it was ever going to happen at all.
Also, unrelated: An Opinion on Abortion