Hrm. I’d grant a high degree of intellect and awareness, plus a communal experiential awareness to everyone, so I’d never have to put up with lame “You don’t understand me” bullshit again.
Beyond this, I’d just like to say to the poster, your greatest gift to another person can never be anything other than yourself. If you feel the need to absorb all of someone’s hurt and pain (I’m not referring to whatever incident prompted this, I’m referring more to the ‘shed every tear meant for her eyes’ bit), that’s not love, it’s caretaking/codependency. Been there, done that, did the therapy… it’s a self-destructive spiral, even though it doesn’t seem like it… just hope you can keep the line between you and yours distinct.
Of course, this is all wholly opinion from someone who, albeit very familiar with the conditions and situations (having started a couple of CoDA chapters, and attending meetings for years, plus tons of therapy), is still a layman… so take what you need and leave the rest.
Thanks for the warning, Vanilla Toast, luckily I do know the line between love and codependency. What I meant in the line about the tears was simply that I wish I could ease the burden from her shoulders, giving her a break from the pain I know she feels and deals with everyday. I do see what you are saying and have been told many times that she must deal with this on her own. I am simply there to hold her hand and support her through her journey. I know all too well how difficult it is to sit back and let her “suffer” and I try to let her deal as best she can but I cant lie there are days that her pain is so bad that I would give my life to make it stop… Anyway, I will try my best to keep what you said in mind when dealing with such situations in the future, thank you.
