If you had to be executed, how would you like to be put to death?

Suppose you were convicted, rightly or wrongly, of a capital crime, and sentenced to die. You’ve exhausted every appeal and the time of your demise is nigh. However, wherever you live has a new rule that says that while there is capital punishment, the prisoner chooses their method of execution.

There is no trick that gets you out of dying, you;re done for. How do you wanna go?

Something else: nitrogen asphyxiation.

Nuke me from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure.

Firing squad, it’s just so dramatic. Perfect for a drama queen, like me!
I hope it’s filmed and shown on the news.

Either rifle/shotgun right behind the head or injection. For injection, what veterinarians typically use for euthanasia or high amounts of opiates. I don’t suppose I’d be allowed to go out with a “party mix” lethal injection.

Smothered by a hot woman riding my face

This was/is my choice too. I suppose this falls under the “gas chamber” option in the poll. Do I get to choose which gas is used in the chamber?

The firing squad just seems like a more dignified way to die, compared to the alternatives. You get to die standing up, and you’re killed by men, not by a machine. Plus it’s fast and fairly painless, relatively speaking.

I chose firing squad as it’s closest, but it’d be better for it to instead be one up close gunman who can ensure a pretty instantaneous death.

How would I LIKE to be put to death? I wouldn’t LIKE it at all.

What would I choose? A fatal overdose of ecstasy (MDMA), I guess.

Either that or coronary artery disease.

Old age?


Other: Heat death of the universe.

I sure wouldn’t trust the firing squad to put the bullets in the right place for a fast and fairly painless death; in fact it seems that every firing squad shooting always puts bullets in the torso or abdomen rather than the head.

Snu snu.

Boiler explosion.

Guillotine seems quick and pretty foolproof. Most mornings I lie in bed a while before I have to get up, and I imagine myself being beheaded. Sometimes I’m on my back, watching the blade plummet to my neck

Why yes, I’m a skosh depressed, why do you ask? Also I’m of French ancestry. Maybe that contributes to my fascination with the guillotine.

Firing squad has a certain romance to it, though. As Ambrose Bierce wrote, “if you hear of my being stood up against a Mexican stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life.”

I’ll take a Nelson Rockefeller death. 70 years old, naked, flat on my back, with only one sock on. In the presence of my 25 year old aide, Megan.

Fighting to keep any of the stuff on the list from being done to me, so I guess I’ve chosen being beat to death by prison guards.

“In bed, with a hooker. When I’m 80.” Paraphrasing Tyrion. Or in a British movie (I think this was Meaning of Life) we were told that “this man is about to die” while being chased off a cliff by a pack of shirtless nubiles of his preferred sex (female, in both of our cases).

But if someone asked me about a reasonable method, I would pick the guillotine. Supposedly you would experience a few moments of unspeakable distress, but it would still be quick.