I have nothing to add, except that I think this paragraph is hysterical.
Simon Met a Pieman wrote:
Not to mention Batman.
Just bumping up the thread 'cuz I like it!
Patty
I feel your pain. I too am a lab assistant at my former junior college.
NAME: Lab Guy
HOW ONE BECOMES A SUPERHERO: One day while working in the basement computer lab, Lab Guy notices some students checking out adult sites. Just as he walks towards them, he is struck by lightning. Suddenly Lab Guy has mysterious super powers…
SPECIAL POWERS: Lab Guy can, at will, turn off computers. Lab Guy can also surf the web mentally by closing his eyes and looking at his eyelids.
LIMITATIONS: The ability to turn off computers is only possible for computers that are within Lab Guy’s line-of-sight. Also, as The Mighty Tiki God mentioned NT, I too must reboot myself every 20 minutes or so. Rebooting requires pressing CTRL+ALT+DEL in the air.
COSTUME: A bunch of mouse pads bound together so Lab Guy resembles a Samurai. A lot of corporate sponsorship is visible.
ARCHFIENDS:
- Unknowing Student: regularly asks ridiculous questions like “what does WWW stand for?” or “how do I right-click?”
- Mr. Know-it-All: regularly asks questions as a way of determining Lab Guy’s general computer knowledge. He would ask, “So what kind of routers do you use here?” or “What motherboards are in the workstations, starting from the oldest model and make?”
I probably shouldn’t post on this thread because I’m a pro at this (see http://www.sjgames.com/gurps/books/InternationalSuperTeams/), but you can find specifics on and some adventures of my super alter ego (also from a V&V 2nd Edition game!) detailed on my website at http://www.eclipse.net/~rms/dwmain.html.
The short version: Looney Toons, who gets new and unusual super powers by listening to music, and who patterns his public persona around old Warner Brothers cartoons…
– Bob
I would have to be THE CUNNING LINGUIST.
I was licking a frozen pylon and my tongue got stuck to it. Then guess what? Yep, the pylon was struck by lightening sending a power surge thru my body to the ground (which was sprayed with weird farmer chemicals. Result? A 15" retractable tongue.
I am now able to render any female totally helpless with just a few flicks of my new mouth organ.I even have it pierced with a Kryptonite stud so it will work on SuperGirl.
The limitations are obvious. It dos’nt work on straight men.
My arch enemy is FELLATIA, a wicked super villainess with strikingly similar powers to mine.
When we get together, that will be one Hell of a fight!
It’s not as hard as you think. Also, didn’t you mean “enchantment” when you said “sorcery”? 
There’s not enough angst here for a real superhero thread. Therefore, I give you:
Name: Magus
Powers: Magick–primarily illusion and divination, although he can lob a few levinbolts when he chooses (at the cost of considerable wear-and-tear on himself). He’s also an expert on demonology and necromancy, knowledge that he only uses to fight its usual wielders…for now.
Source of Powers: His grandfather, the former Magus, died rescuing him from kidnappers. As the only pure-hearted person within range of the old man’s fast-fading powers, he received the Magus’ knowledge of magick…and his charge: To defend the innocent against the Dark Ones and their minions.
Limitations: His magick can be thwarted by simple counter-charms. A circle of salt, certain obscure amulets, even a particular mix of powdered herbs present a barrier to his spells. Also, the trauma of being kidnapped by the Dark Servants and having the knowledge of all the former Magi dumped in his head at the age of 10 have left him a bit deranged. His darker powers call to him, and he walks always on a thin rope over an abyss of corruption.
Enemies: Fundamentali…er…The Dark Ones, Lovecraftian horrors who manipulate humans into acts of cruelty and evil for a purpose not even the Magi have ever learned. He can hear them, whispering in his mind, urging him on to his doom; it’s the only way to learn their plans, but it carries the terrible risk of becoming part of those plans.
Weapon: Belt knife…for those times when magick just isn’t the right tool for the job.
Costume: Faded black jeans and shirt, black moccasins. Belt pouches containing…no, you really don’t want to know. Wouldn’t be caught dead in spandex.
Well, this is ironic, you see, I am a superhero.
I am Captain Sarcasm! Master of sarcasm and feigning interest. Along with my superteam (consisting of Hat-Man, Leatherman, Speed-Limit Boy, and The Magic Ho) we fight crime and evil.
But, if I wasn’t Captain Sarcasm, I would be the following superher:
NAME: None, really. Some call him The Drifter, Resourcefull Man (he hates that one when he hears it,) or The Nameless One.
POWERS: His mind has been altered so that he can analyze situations quickly and efficiently. He always has an ample supply of tools and parts to build devices to accomplish almost any task. His power is useful in predicting things like boxing matches, horse races, and what his enemies will do next.
LIMITATIONS: He cannot predict anything that is random, such as the lotto or craps. And people that act in an abundance of randomness throw off his analyzing. Also, he has memory problems. He has NO long term memory whotsoever, save things related to his powers and what would be considered a basic liberal arts college education.
ORIGIN: Unknown. He thinks he was a genetic experiment gone bad. Or maybe he has some alien implants in his brain. It’s all a mystery.
WEAPONS: Whatever he can make himself. Usually has a knife and a small sidearm on him as well.
COSTUME: A pair of khaki cargo pants with many full pockets, a long trench coat modified with pockets, a shirt with pockets, a belt with pouches and clips, and a backpack.
ENEMIES: The Randomizer, Gamblor.
The Drifter (his favourite name, so he goes by it when called by it, seeing as he doesn’t remember it) wanders from city to city, fighting what evil he can. Why? He has nothing better to do, and it’s the only thing he remembers doing, so he figures it must be important. He also travels with two friends who have names, but he doesn’t remember them anyway. They serve as his memory for other people.
Personally I would like to be able to read people’s minds. I mean do you realize how totally great that would be?! You wouldn’t have to bother talking to the mean people and there would be no worries about all the shit that society has trained us to (being quiet and not speaking our minds) I just think that would be great!!!
So, bouv, your superhero is McGuyver after severe cranial trauma, right?
s&c, you probably wouldn’t want to read what your username sends running through my mind…or maybe you would.
The rampant perversion over in MPSIMS has corrupted me, I guess.
Regardless, welcome to the Boards. 
Well, yeah. I mean, can you name a cooler man than McGuyver? NO! And, unlike McGuyver, I would already have neat stuff to tinker with, so I would be ten times more effective.
(Man, now I want to see an episode of McGuyver.)
I’m enjoying this thread too much to let it fade into oblivion!
Patty
ummm, my girlfriend says i’m faster than a speeding bullet…although i’m not sure she means that in a good way…
I used to play Champions (First edition), and making up superheros was more fun than actually playing. I still remember creations like Feral, The Wave(Microwave powers, actually), Overkill, and Psynapse…
My friend came up with the idea of The Shark. A pool master who had a variety of pool balls that would do various attacks like explosions, smoke, lightning attacks, ect. I always thought that was a cool take on the ‘gimmick’ superhero (Or in this case, villian).
My idea, as stated in previous threads is:
Name: I dunno, maybe Slide. No, that sounds stupid.
Origin: Born with the power.
Powers: An enhanced metabolism, I can eat anything I want and still stay in shape by tying my shoes. My strength and speed are greatly enhanced, and some gymnastics and martial arts abilities mean that I can kick ass Matrix-style. The metabolism thing also gives me a healing factor. Screw it. I might as well throw in some enhanced senses, as well.
Limits: Calory intake is pretty extreme. I can shut the metabolism down to conserve energy, but I’m then slow and sluggish. Kind of like how I am IRL. Enhanced senses can be overloaded by flash grenades, sonic attacks, ect.
Mucus Man!
It acually stems from my current condition of having the flu.
After chronic sinus infections and flu epidemics Dan turns to a mad scientist for help. The madman keeps on raving about ‘IT’ but Dan persevers and forces him to develope a cure for excess mucus. The experimental blue pill certainly does clear up the raging snot in Dan’s head. However it has also gifted him with the ability to control and create mucus! Yes!
Think of the possibilities! No more sinus infections, bringing others to thier knees by causing thier stomachs and throats to be filled with mucus.
Name Thug 07
Origin: Originally a badguy, Thug 07 was one of the random goons usually dispatched by the dozens by the Punisher or the Crow. While fight a group of superheroes, Thug 07 discovered he could not be killed. No matter how hard they tried, he always came back for more.
Powers: Limited invulnerability: he can be hurt by weapons and powers, but is ultimately not killed. He always manages to come back some how, deus ex machina style.
Costume: Black badguy outfit , lots of leather amd crome. Big 07 on his chest
Weapons: guns,knives,teeth,guns,fists,guns,knees,guns, waffleirons,guns,cars,guns,tanks,guns,flamethrowers,guns, cheerleaders,guns,forehead,guns. Oh yeah, and GUNS!
Mission: To to show those lousy superVILLIANS they can’t push him around anymore. Also, unionize thugs and vermin. Also, score with hot Superheroines.
Antagonist: Scab man, Gun Control Man,
**Weakness:**Can only win fight after being horribly injured, he’ll get better though. Must always try to unionize thugs before fighting them.
I’d like to be able to absorb and redirect energy. This would be useful for many different things. For instance, if I was extremely tired, I could “borrow” some energy from the hyperactive children I babysit. When cold, I could use my own body energy and direct it into heat energy more efficiently than the natural method of shivering does. And in a race car in the event of a crash I could redirect the force of the crash in order to not die. I think it would be awesome.
Since so many folks have cried “foul” on me for biting on hte Punisher and Batman, I will make another one… I was just going for something a little realistic… it’s pretty much what I would do, given the circumstances…
Name: The Coat
Powers: an amazing coat that seems to hold anything that can be useful in any situation.
History: During his Senior Year of high school, our hero was running to class across his campus when a freak bolt of lightning from the science lab arced across the sky and blasted him in the chest!
Upon awakening, our hero found his clothing, put it on and discovered the ability to think of an item, stick his hands in his pockets and pull out the object. Couple this with a slight electrokenisis, our hero The Coat fights crime in his own way, usually through being more of an irritant than any super heroic ability… although that is changing slowly as The Coat explores his powers…
Weaknesses: size of created objects is limited by size of pocket, objects are limited to what currently exists… no pulling out a tennis ball size nuclear bomb… dang it!
The idea here is based on the fact that in High School, I tended to collect things in my army fatigue coat… at one point, in June, I actually removed an Xmas ornament… and it wasn’t ours!! I have no idea where this thing came from, but it was odd…
Well, there are so many possibilities! Rather than do the hard part (inspiration) myself, I went to Lee’s Useless Super-Hero Generator (which Soup linked to above–Thanks Soup!) and had it generate something for me:
Skarab Gorilla
Power(s): Flight, Super strength
Source of powers: Symbiosis
Transportation: Laser Zamboni
OK. I am an expatriate of Gorilla City (or the equivalent, if non-DC) who has been quasi-psychically bonded to a giant (62 cm long) beetle–the “Skarab”. It lives on my face or chest (depending on whether I want to wear it as a mask that day) and confers on me the ability to fly and to lift objects of great size. This is because the Skarab has the ability to move, by some force unknown to the backward science of Western Man, objects with which I–its symbiote–am in direct contact. (Like Kon-el’s “tactile TK” for those familiar with the current Superboy.) This does not require the “lift” expected by conventional physics, but it does require great expenditure of energy, so I do not rely on it exclusively for transportation. If I have to drive somewhere, I use my Laser Zamboni–really, I just love saying “Laser Zamboni”–which does look a lot like a regular Zamboni, but is a bit faster and more versatile. Also it has lasers. I can’t tell you what they all do, because I don’t want my enemies to find out all my tricks.
I wear very large (hey, I’m a gorilla!) shorts or trousers, and a sort of jacket open in the front. These are usually a shade of green to match the Skarab, or reddish brown. I don’t wear the same clothes every day, not being a slob like some superheroes.
I like this thread, but I’m too lazy to put much thought into an actual superhero persona. I think I’ll take the superpower Grant Morrison came up for one of his supervillains in the series Doom Patrol. The villains name was The Quiz. She had every superpower you haven’t thought of.
Speaking of RPG’s, back in my roleplaying days we played the DC Heroes RPG. One of my friends came up with one of the funniest superheroes ever. He was nigh invulnerable (like the Tick!) and could survive almost anything. Unfortunately he had a pathological need to get himself killed at every possible opportunity. That game also had one of my favorite powers. Actually it was more of a attribute. It was called a “weirdness attractor”. Which means no matter what you do, you will be the one to attract any possible weirdness in the area. The only talking armadillo withing a thousand miles will track you down to help him deal with a Lovecraftian cult of accountants that’s been stalking him.