If You Were Adopted

In My Humble Opinion
1

If you were adopted what information would you like to have on your birth parents if you were never to see them?

2

If “never to see them” means in person, I’d like pictures, of course. I’d like to know if I inherited my panicky nature from one of them. Did they ever have other children, and do they resemble me? Since I take pretty good care of my health, I’m fairly philosophical about medical history. It would be good to know if some serious disease or malady runs in the family but, mostly I’m just curious about the little things.

3

Money. Do they have money? :smiley:

4

I wish I was adopted sometimes. Ever met my father? :rolleyes:

I’d only want to know pertinent medical information. That’s it.

5

As one of the many that are adopted on this board, I can only speak for myself…in fact an IMHO thread got me back to seeking out my Birth mother again and I have a chance to meet her!

Anyhow, what do I want to know, since I am in the shoes of the adopted child.

  1. Medical records, what sorts of things could I actually answer to a doctor the first time you see them. “In your family do you have…” would be nice to know.

  2. What might I look like in 19 years (she’s 19 years older than me). Apparently our voices are the same, our temperments, our hieght (I am shorter by a half inch, maybe) our build is the same.

  3. What is my cultural heritage? Am I really Irish/English? From what I know my birth father was red haired with freckles, my birthmother looks similar to me…suggesting to me that I am Irish/English.

I think if I could never meet her, which I am hopeful will happen by the end of the year, the Colorado Intermediary Program is pretty full of cases at the moment, it would be my medical history if I never could have the chance to meet her. But it burns in my heart to meet her, and apparently she wants to meet me too so hopefully with my previous efforts it will be easier now.

< sigh >

6

I have many friends and relatives who are adopted, too.

I don’t know what I would want to know. Some people ask me if I want to know my birth parents, but I am not sure. The parents I have now are more than enough(does that sound odd or mean?). I guess I would just want to know who I am like, what my siblings are like, and if my parents think about me. Medical history isn’t my highest priority(I know, I know), but it would be useful.

Not looking for my birth parents, but I think I should. I am just afraid that they are dead and that I will never know them. That should make me want to find them even more, but it doesn’t.

7

I’m a reunited adoptee - for me the drive to register for reunion was to obtain a medical history, not only for me but for my daughter as well.

All the rest (which has been great) is gravy.

8

As a genealogist I would want names, birth dates, death dates and marriage dates. As far back as they knew.

My mother is actually adopted and we were only given the rudiments but I’m a good genealogists and I now know more then my mother’s birth mother about her heritage :slight_smile:

9

I have just been ‘found’ by a daughter I relinquished to adoption 27 years ago.

My entire universe is whirling out of control just now.

This is the phone call I received while on my computer one afternoon;

Are you 'Abby Elbows Smith'?
Yes I am.
Were you born  10 July 1958?
Yes I was.
Are you sitting down?

Holy crap, what a time we’re having at my house.

Is it possible to be both delighted and terrified at the same time? I think yes.

As it happens, just now, I could not be more interested to hear anything you have to say.

(In the passing years I never married or had another child. I do have a long time SO, Mr Elbows, who simply is beside himself with glee.)

10

Naaah. I’ve got more than enough “issues” that I have to resolve first before I start worrying about who my biological parents are.

11

Medical information.

That’s all.

This is a highly personal area and each adopted will want to approach this in their own way.
I was a fling on a summer night long ago.
Today I’d probably be an embarrassment to a Grande Dame in her last days.
The parents that took me in wanted me. That is more than enough.

12

elbows, congrats on your child finding you! When I first heard that my birthmother had finally decided that she wanted to meet me, I went through the same emotions. Joyful terror…that’s the best I can explain it. I shook all over, I cried happy tears. Just knowning she came around was enough to freak me out but calming a lot in my lost soul of 32 1/2 years.

You sound a lot like my b-mom, she’s never had any other children.

Anyhow, congrats again and good luck with your future in this realm.

13

Thanks Techchick;

This whole event soo caught me off guard. Every adult adoptee I’ve ever met, when asked, has told me they have no desire to ever look.

By the time I knew she was past 21yrs I just assumed she’d not found the urge to look. And I admit it pleased me.

Since then I’ve discovered that 26, 27 & 28yrs are the most common age for them to begin to search.

I guess it’s just that for 27 yrs I never dared to dream that this could ever happen.

So far I have received a beautiful letter from her, and I have written her a letter, now I’m waiting to see if she has email. I have yet to meet her, speak with her or see a photo of her.

And Doug:

Your birthmother is probably only 16 - 18 yrs older than you, (grand dame, indeed) and I promise, you are not an embarassment to her!