Dear Dickhead,
If you really insist on taking a shit at work, please make sure all floater and skids get flushed.
I must now puke.
Thank you.
Diane
Oh god. We had worse. We had the “nest of freshly-laid stools”.
In the few seconds I suffered the horror of glimpsing it, I saw enough to sustain permanent psychological damage.
Imagine, if you will, the toilet bowel stuffed with freshly crumpled dry toilet paper. Visualise the steaming chocolate eggs gently laid upon it.
Notice the lack of wetness, of water, of dampness of any kind. Which can only mean three things.
-
The turd-chicken built her nest and laid her clutch AFTER urination (a careful attempt to keep her dogs’ eggs dry?)
-
The turd-chicken did not use any loo paper or the water spray to clean up her nethers after launching her chocolate missiles
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The turd-chicken made no attempt to flush the toilet - or close the lid - instead proudly she leaves her turdy treasures for the rest of us to find
I just had to open this and read it at lunchtime.
Thank God Easter is over. I don’t think I could stomach any chocolate eggs after than image, istara.
BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I seem to remember us doing this rant before. I’m sure it led to me naming my first turd of the morning at work after our esteemed OP. Purely out of respect for Diane, of course 
Ah yes - here it is. Worth a read - it was pretty funny.
pan
Not funny kabbes,
At least you’ve only got skids in the toilet.
For some reason, when I went to the bathroom this morning, there were skid marks…ON THE PUSH-BAR OF THE LIQUID SOAP DISPENSER!!!
:eek:
C’mon! We work in a hospital! If your mommy didn’t teach you the proper way to wipe your ass (t.p. instead of your HAND!) then you don’t need to be working here.
It is because of people like Diane’s coworker that my bare ass cheeks never touch public toilet seats. I’ll lay TP or poke a hole in a newspaper or something, but I will not risk the germs of such sick bung chutes contacting my flesh.
How fucking inconsiderate can you be?
Hah, they can be much more inconsiderate than that. Last week somebody left a freshly soiled sanitary napkin on a ledge in the office loo. Unwrapped.
Reminds me of this girl I used to live with. She would leave her unwrapped, used sanitary napkins in the garbage can for all to see. We tried to tell her that it wasn’t a pretty sight, and furthermore, that it was unsanitary.
She was also the one who would eat practically nothing but candy and sweet things, and as a consequence, would throw up in the bathroom every few weeks or so. Guess whose room was right across the hall from the bathroom? Not a sleep-inducer AT ALL.
Thank God I moved out of that house and into this apartment before I did some really homicidal damage to that person!
Well, at least you don’t get ‘finger painters’.
If you can’t imagine it, you’re better of.