“Great, but could you do something useful?” is what I would say. No need to talk to HR.
Does anybody ever say such things sincerely, with a genuine belief that they’re being helpful and caring?
Sometimes, “I’ll pray for you” (which, I’ll note, is not necessarily specifically Christian) means “I genuinely care about you and what you’re going through, and I will do what I can to help.” Some people genuinely believe that their prayers are helpful, and I think atheists sometimes forget this. Remembering that not everyone believes the same as you goes both ways.
However, sometimes, “I’ll pray for you” is smug, or superior, or insincere, or trite and dismissive, or “weaponized,” or other things that are perfectly reasonable to object to.
I’ve had a polite Christian say they’d pray for a sick family member. I took it as an expression of care and concern. As I said above, I think “I’ll pray for you” would be welcome from pretty much the same set of people from whom “would you like a hug” would be welcome. Which suggests that HR might want to discourage it. Not outlaw it, but make sure that people know it ought to be consensual.
Not those two examples, no, but what about people of sincere faith in other religions, like Islam or Hinduism? How many of them feel safe offering honest prayers like this? How many keep quiet out of concern over people’s reactions?
“Happy holidays” was mentioned above. We have plenty of examples of Christians reacting poorly to even the reminder that other faiths exist in our society.
Fair question.
I’ll put it another way: what if I were a practicing Muslim and habitually used the expression, “Inshallah,” in these same business-cum-social situations?
ETA: Ninja’d
Jesus. I like my job, but it frequently feels like I’m shoveling bullshit.
Same.
That’s not how I took it when someone said that to me after my father died. But obviously there are people who will take it that way.
And that’s fair. We’re supposed to represent the company, and the company might not want to give the impression that it’s got a particular religious affiliation.
Not having a working or personal relationship with your HR rep means you’re not a problem. Aside from managers, most employees don’t have much of a relationship with us unless they have questions about their benefits or leave.
Just out of curiosity, would you sanction an employee for telling another employee they’d pray for them?
Just so we accept my reply of, “sure, or you could do something real”. I do not share my atheism at work unless someone else shares their religiosity.
I’m an atheist too and I’ve go to ask, what would be the point of this reply?
No point and it’s not a reply I’d proffer. I just think the reply (should it be made) should be acceptable.
Or “Thank you. I’d like nothing better.”
ISWYDT.
That’s the beauty of it. I suspect that few of the people who tell me that would “SW[I]DT”. Which suits me fine.
I’m not offended by people saying they’ll pray for me when I’m facing difficult times - 99% of the time, it’s a sincere expression of compassion, and I can appreciate it for it’s intent. But it’s sort of annoying that there’s no similar way to casually assert my atheism that doesn’t come off as being a jerk. “I heard your mom has cancer. Her existence had no purpose or meaning beyond that which you personally assign it,” doesn’t come off very well.
Yeah, needs work.
If it runs counter to employee training as presented by HR, and if a coworker complains about the conversation, one would have to at least remind the person that this type of religious discussion is discouraged in the workplace. It isn’t the sort of thing that would be oft repeated, unless we have a person who desperately wants to inject God into secular conversation.
“What would be the point” of anybody expressing their religiosity, either? Why are you pushing so hard for people just to tolerate expressions of conventional religiosity, but refrain from equally sincere expressions of non-religiosity?
This is the sort of questioning of assumptions that DEI initiatives are intended to facilitate. I get how promotion of DEI/JEDI/etc. often feels like mere performative “bullshit”, but that’s part of the process of societal change.
I can remember when pioneering policies about using more gender-inclusive language like “he or she” were met with exactly this sort of exasperated grumbling about petty pointless oversensitivity yadda yadda yadda. Now, though, we take gender-inclusive language for granted, and any supposedly “gender-neutral” statement that used masculine pronouns to refer to both/all sexes would read as gratuitously sexist and just weirdly archaic.
The same thing seems to be happening with the practice of treating Christianity-derived conventional phrases like “I’ll pray for you” as “religion-neutral” expressions of sympathy. Conservatives now grumble that people who object to it are just making a big oversensitive fuss about nothing, just like they used to grumble about being expected to say “he or she” instead of “he”.
Starting a thread about the subject is pushing hard? Okay.
The bullshit part I was referring to was adding a J to DEI. A lot of HR has a habit of changing names for reasons which sometimes escapes me. For example, a few years ago all of our recruiters suddenly became talent acuisition specialist. They do the exact same thing they did a few years ago, but being called TAPs makes them happier I guess. I’m actually pretty supportive of DEI in general and don’t consider it bullshit. But it doesn’t follow that I agree with every little thing.
I think the “J” was mainly added to have the acronym spell Jedi, probably a Star Wars fan. I know what you’re talking about, but I think geeking out is the answer to this one.
Is something like “I’ll pray for you” an expression of religiosity, or is it an expression of compassion and concern in a way that is natural for a religious person?
If it’s the latter, there are plenty of similar ways to express compassion and concern from a non-religious perspective, like “I’ll be thinking of you” or “I’m wishing you the best.”
If it’s the former—and I wouldn’t assume that it is unless I had a reason to—then yeah, it’s pointless and jerkish to express religiosity or atheism in a context like responding to bad news.
Do any religious people other than Christians say “I’ll pray for you”? Sincerely asking.