I’m a photographer!
(I’m a photographer myself, however, most people calling themselves photographers are using either auto-mode or instagram.)
True story:
I met a young woman once who told me she was an “actress”. She was a university student at the time, so I immediately thought, “yeah right… you’re in the drama club”.
Turns out she actually was a professional actress. A week after I met her I saw her in a TV commercial, and a month after that she had dropped out of school to star in a TV series.
Whoops!
Well, the “c” word isn’t really allowed in the Pit, either.
I’m a million times more humble than thou art. 
“I need a kosher meal”
I know someone who will make a special kosher request, then two days later he’s eating shrimp
I understand keeping kosher is serious and very important to many but this man I know closely has a bipolar kosher diet, kosher unless he wants to eat a nice ham sandwich or basket of shrimp :dubious:
I guess this is the Jewish version of a person who claims to be vegetarian, (except for anytime they drive by in and out)
He’s flexatariosher.
You could do a whole section on online dating.
“I am curvy.”
“I am low maintenance.”
“I want don’t want any drama.”
"
And some of us went to the trouble of looking up school records.
I have told about 3 people of my result on the Lorge-Thorndike administered in 8th grade - just because most would dismiss it or question my personality.
The result simply read: 160+
The answer to your question: Do you have any idea how bored I am?
“It’s complicated.”
Actually, it’s very simple.
I’m unfamiliar with that one. My hunch is that it means: "I’m in a sorta relationship now. But I’m not happy and I’m testing the waters. Depending on what I find, (love, sex, friendship, dating hell, or nothing but rejections) I will take you on as an extra, or you will become my new number one. ‘’
Which is kinda honest.
In my experience on Facebook it either means
“They’re not into me but they said something to me once that made it seem like they might be, so it’s good enough for me. We’re practically dating.”
I was paid to take an IQ test as part of a university study. That normally shuts up anybody who claims I just did it as part of a Facebook game.
I don’t tend to lead with it in discussions, though, so it’s never really come up. (Not saying you do, of course.)
Er… I was originally going to post two things, and decided the first one basically covered it, then forgot to change the “either”
Oh! That is quite different then my interpretation as “have cake, want more”. But it makes sense. On dating sites, people don’t really want to lie about beign sort of in a relationship, but they also are on the dating site and that needs an explanation, hence the useful expression “its complicated”.
On Facebook, people who might not want, socially, for whatever reason, admit to being single, the term ''complicated"" covers that up.
If I hear “I have my own business making jewelry”, “I have a business doing professional organizing”, or “I’m a freelance editor”, I translate that as “I’m mostly unemployed”.
“I was such a geek in high school” – yeah, right.
Going back to the top, “I’m a psychic” does it for me. I guess my ex-wife is trying to make her way doing tarot readings now; when we were together, she had roughly zero interest.
Like the OP said, “Yeah, right.”