Fret not, MsWhatsit, I don’t understand it, and I am technically a qualifying member of that umbrella term. I prefer to just say “I am attracted to men” although since it sometimes annoys me the way people go about asking, I might just start saying, “I am a guy who likes a CENSORED in his mouth, okay?” 
I don’t know if it is appropriate to say CENSORED in this forum so I will refrain. 
It isn’t, and I believe I was perfectly clear about why and how I use it the first time around. I even gave a real-world example of how I use it. As I said, it’s not all that often that total strangers decide to make crass anti-lesbian jokes at me, but it’s handy for the occasions where a not-detailed reference to my orientation is warranted. (If you want details on my love life, you better be either my lover or my best friend. Being private does not equal being in the closet.)
If you think a word meaning “not straight” is confusing, then I don’t know what else to say.
And frankly I’m not going to spend 10 minutes explaining how my attractions work to a homophobe, or to any stranger. They’re a stranger, I don’t care overmuch if they understand all the details, it won’t matter to them, and it doesn’t matter to me. I have better things to do with my time.
It isn’t. But you can say “cock,” “broomstick,” “traffic cone,” et cetera, depending on your preferred poison.
“I’m a guy who likes a traffic cone in his mouth.”
I’d want to hear more about that lifestyle choice.
“Yeah? I got yer traffic cone right here, pal.”
There aren’t any forbidden words on any forum. You can’t insult people using curse words except in the Pit, but you can’t insult them with vanilla words either.
Being a single guy on a few dating sites, it amazes me how 85% of all women claim to be “passionate about travel.” Yet for many of them their only real travel was a week in an all inclusive.
That isn’t “passionate about travel.” You are “passionate” about something if it’s a defining feature of your character. Someone who’s passionate about travel is someone who’s been all over hell’s half acre, whose passport’s got more stamps than a post office, who’s spend more on foreign mass transit passes and tickets than they have all the Dominican all-inclusive week.
Uh, I know. I don’t think it’s confusing at all, I never said I did. I don’t find anything confusing about the term queer, it just means “not straight.” MsWhatsit did not understand why someone would answer “Are you a lesbian?” with “No, I’m queer.” Clearly the speaker then is not a lesbian, but that doesn’t mean she is straight. That’s the point of using the word queer.
Yeah, right.
Whoops, did I say that out loud?
IME, it usually means that they enjoy insulting people but don’t want to be called on their rudeness.
Okay, then. I have no idea why you’d assert that you think that being confusing was the point.
I am in the community and an activist, and I still don’t understand fully what “queer” means because every person I talk to who says they are “queer” gives a different definition.
I’ve had “queer” defined to me by people who claim to be “queer” as:
“I’m a straight male but like to fuck with people’s minds by dressing femme.”
“I’m a straight girl but like to dress butch and hang out with lesbians.”
“Sometimes I’m straight, sometimes I’m not.”
“I’m a lesbian/gay guy trapped in a man’s/woman’s body.”
“I’m pan/omnisexual.”
“I don’t know what I am. I haven’t figured it out.”
You should see the fights over crossdresser versus transgender, and transgender versus transsexual…they can get really ugly and destroy entire organizations. Such a thing happened here locally, one July meeting essentially shattered a 50+ person support group which had been around for years.
I get asked by males if I’m a lesbian from time to time, always as a prelude to a pick-up. My response is “well, I think I just became one now.” 
“I’m a humble person.”
“I’m just a humble servant of God.”
“I’m just doing my job.”
This reminded me of my favorite example, I don’t think anyone’s mentioned it yet, but I may have missed it.
“I’m an Anarchist”
Not only “yeah, right” but less than a second after they are arrested, they start demanding their rights. So you see they were only just ordinary hypocrites and never an Anarchist after all.
One thought about “I’m celibate”, I’ve always found that some choose celibacy, some have celibacy thrust upon them. 
Satchmo the celibate, non ordinary hypocrite.
PS Una Ouch! 
Yeah I was thinking the same thing. I have said I don’t like drama, and my life is actually really drama-free. I can’t stand drama. I come from a houseful of drama llamas and now my SO and I work hard to have little to no drama.
My biggest contribution to this thread is:
“I’m a type A personality.”
What the fuck does that even mean? IME, it means you are a goddamn slob and you string everyone up tighter than a drum.
I’m a Libra.
“In fact, I’m the humblest person I know.”
After a recent spat of dating, my newest one is
“I’m not high maintenance”
Spoken to me by only the most highest maintenanced women. :rolleyes:
I think a big part of it is that, for example, ordinary, non-dramatic people don’t tend to feel the need to point that out. Most of these tend to be “doth protest too much” kind of situations, where only people who lack a particular trait (or have a negative one) feel the need to talk about it. Or, at very least, people who are insecure about it.
“I’m a quadriplegic”-online at least 
(has this been said already?)