This is what I was going to say.
“I’m a nurse…”…oh…crap… 
(But yes, it’s a very common misconception that people who are lactose intolerant can’t have any milk at all. It makes people judgey and mean and it’s pretty easy to correct with education.)
To be fair, I’m pretty sure the self-lablers are lying to themselves, too. I don’t think there is any malice or deliberate deception behind these falsehoods; I think that many people give themselves traits they admire in others, or deny traits they don’t like in themselves.
Not a new idea, but worth keeping in mind. (Who said “when you point, three fingers are pointing back at you”?)
Ha, I would love to know the science behind that. I mean, what causes everyone to think that? I really believe it in my damn bone marrow! I have always just felt that I got mad skills at the wheel. I know it’s unlikely that I drive better than most, but what makes me think I do? I don’t go around thinking I’m unusually good at other random tasks. What gives?
I’m a perfectionist.
:rolleyes:
Let me think of something I can say about myself that sounds like it’s a negative, but I’m really just bragging. And that makes me such a special snowflake, too!
Well, I didn’t go into details but his claims were pretty implausible. He’d pour a cup of milk into his cereal and eat it all (including the milk). But he’d insist that if he drank as little as a tablespoon of milk, he’d have a bad reaction, even if he ate a meal with it. I can’t see any reason why a glass of milk drank with a sandwich would be unhealthy for him but that same amount of milk eaten with a bowl of cereal would be okay. Let’s face it, this was just a guy who didn’t like the taste of milk and had psychosomatically convinced himself he was allergic to it.
“I’m an alpha male.”
This one X1000. I actually HAD one of those man-child types who was exactly as Manda Jo describes here. Didn’t have/want a job, and basically sat around all day smoking cigarettes and drinking beer being a so-called SAHD. I worked full-time, and took care of all of the cooking, cleaning, and shopping as well. As for childcare? His contribution was, again as Manda Jo says the bare minimum of “keep the kid alive” (and he came close to couple of EPIC FAILS on that as well). The very nano-second I could manage on my own I was gone baby gone with the kids.
So yeah, whenever someone says “I’m a stay at home dad” I have a bit of a knee jerk reaction. I have to really bite my tongue and school myself to come up with a socially acceptable response.
What is a supertaster? (yes, I could google, but doper answers are MUCH better and more interesting).
Instead of a poet or a supertaster, I’ll admit to being a poetaster.
I was a poet taster in high school, but she dumped me.
“I am self-employed.”
I am not skeptical about people who describe themselves as artists, because I know that there are lots of bad painters, writers, musicians, actors, etc. who earn money and recognition doing it and many good ones who don’t.
But “self-employed” by itself usually sounds to me like “not employed”
The man’s been dead for over a hundred and fifty years. How much flavor is there left?
You guys made me look it up (though the poet/supertaster inspired posts are wonderful!).
So, I’m definitely NOT a supertaster. I adore vegetables (though I hate the word vegetable). I love coffee (good coffee, none of that Folger’s crap, or cheapo beans from Costco), and chocolate? OMG…you’ll get my chocolate when you pry it…etc. and so on. 
Yeah, it does add up that way an awful lot of times, equating to “I piddle around at ____ but it doesn’t really earn a living wage.”
I’ve been self-employed the majority of my career (and I won’t say some passages weren’t of the above nature…) and I learned to avoid the term. I’ve had convos much like this:
Person With No Good Reason To Ask: “Who do you work for?”
Me: “Such-and-so company.” (Or “I’m in [business type].”)
PWNGRTA: “What do you do there?”
Me: “I own it.”
PWNGRTA: “Oh, so you’re self-employed.” (Polite form: question. Slightly clueless form: statement. Rude form: statement with emphasis on “self.”)
Me: “I dunno, you’d have to ask my HR manager.”
Reminds me of the old lady who used her husband’s ashes for snuff. “Bugger was up all my other holes when he was alive, he might as well have these too now as well.”
I dunno…I’ve been self employed/business owner (with about a three-year break in the late 80s) since 1979. And I assure you it’s not been piddling around - I’ve bought and sold houses, paid every single bill, provided employees with a living wage etc this way and to this day.
So, context… 
“I’m not racist.” My knee jerk impulse is to peg them as exactly the type of person who lacks the self-awareness to see their own prejudice.
“I’m super attractive and have guys falling over themselves trying to get at me all the time.” I only encounter such posturing online and although the trusting part of me believes them, my inner skeptic is convinced they are all talk.
Which reminds me of a classic: “Some of my best friends are black people.” Or gays, or Jews, or…
I eat dead people.