I'm an unfeeling cunt. Yup.

LilMiss had a friend over Saturday afternoon. Nice girl. I sat in the living room with her mom talking about life in general. It was a good conversation. Emo comes home, nattering continues. Then the phone rings. It’s the Ex#2, mother of LilMiss’s 5 year old sister. We chat for a minute, I hand Emo the phone.

"WHAT THE FUCK? THAT MOTHERFUCKER BETTER BE IN JAIL OR I’M GONNA KILL HIM!" I have never heard so painful of a wail.

I look at the other Mom, not knowing what to say. Go into the kitchen, Emo is sobbing, can barely hold himself up or speak. Go back out into the living room, state that we should reschedule the play date. “What happened?” I have no idea. Other Mom obviously doesn’t want to leave now that something interesting was happening. Emo gets off the phone, I go back into the kitchen to see what was up.

LilMiss’s sister had been repeatedly molested by a neighbor. Ex#2 walked in on it. Cops get called, pedophile is now in jail. Emo composes himself, comes back into the living room and apologizes to the other Mom for his outburst. I again state that we should cancel the play date. Emo says No, it’s okay, he’s going to his girlfriends house. LilMiss comes out, asks what’s wrong, Emo and I say we’ll talk about it later and he leaves. LilMiss continues to play and conversation with the Mom continues, although I won’t explain what was going on. It’s not her business.

Issue #1 Were I at someone’s house and shit like this happened, I wouldn’t wait for someone to ask me to leave, I’d pardon ourselves and go. And if someone TELLS you that you would rather not discuss it, you should fucking DROP it.

Later that night Emo calls. Turns out Ex#2 had been told by pedos’ roommate NOT to leave the child with pedo. She was told he has control problems with children, but was getting help for it and “seemed to have come a long way”. Fucker is a Level 1 sex offender. I know that can mean many things. But the fact is, he’s an offender and she was told not to leave her child with him. Subsequently discovered part of his parole is that he’s not supposed to be near ANY minor child.


Then (Oh Lawd) Emo’s girlfriend appropriates the phone. She of the repeatedly threatening suicide because Emo doesn’t love her the way she loves him, she of the giving me a sex toy catalog in front of his family intimating that I needed a ‘toy’ to make me less cranky, she who is not allowed in my house due to threats of violence, and she who is just too flaky for words wants to talk about it to me. Why? Because she knows about it. She’s an expert. WE (Emo, her, and I - hunh?) need to get LilMiss into counseling stat. WE (again, Emo, her and I - hunh?) also need counseling stat. I apologized, stating I didn’t know she also was survivor of molestation. She’s not. She just knows about it. I stated that I would talk to LilMiss about it and if it’s warranted, Emo and I would deal with it. “No, YOU need it too. YOU don’t know what it’s like”. WTF? “What don’t I know?” “What it’s like!” “What WHAT’s LIKE?” “Being molested”. Uh, you just said you didn’t know yourself. Guess she missed the “also”.

Issue #3 Don’t presume to have a fucking clue when you don’t. Twat.

She’s still going on about how Emo will now (obviously) get custody of the child, how could he not? Well, he has no permanent residence, isn’t working, and stated that while he loves his children he knows he doesn’t have the ability to be the prime caregiver. That’s okay, Emo and child can live with her as one big happy family and Ex#2 can move far away to be with her family. May I say WTF again? Psycho much? Convo turns back to therapy and her stating she really needs it to work through this situation. FYI, Ex#2 doesn’t allow child over there for same reasons LilMiss is not allowed. As a result the girlfriend has seen the child 3-4x in the past 6 months. BUT it’s all about her. I comment that while what happened is horrendous, the only positive I can come up with is that she’s young enough where in 10 years it will be a vague memory. Oh hell. Stupid assed thing to say. I will NEVER know what it’s like. Why am I so stupid? How can I be so callous? Emo gets back on the phone after it’s apparent his girlfriend is spiraling out of control with hatred for me. Why did I have to talk to her? Turns out she took the phone from him to console me during this horrible time. Uh. Sure?

Okay. So we know that Ex#2 is a stupid heifer to leave her child with someone who was KNOWN to be an offender. She’s killing herself with guilt. Let’s not even get into that whole Good Touch/Bad Touch lack of teaching. The girlfriend knows everything about the situation and what it’s like without actually, you know, knowing anything. Emo is a man ready to explode. Luckily he starts therapy next week. He doesn’t know who to be angrier at - Ex#2 or the pedo. He’s also terrified that Ex#2 is going to pack up and move across the country to be with her family. We’ve talked to LilMiss and she knows if she wants help we’ll get it for her. Her sister doesn’t really know what’s going on. She dealt with numerous police, doctors, and psychologists with aplomb, and for that I am soooo proud of her. She knows the “bad guy” is gone and won’t be back around, but is confused as to how her friend became a “bad guy”. And me? I’m a wretched cunt without a lick of feeling, according to others.

*Issue #4 Being essentially an observer in all of this, why am I expected to froth at the mouth and get all het up? Why is it not acceptable to stay apart from the drama? Is there some societal norm I’m supposed to follow when in this sitation? *

I want to rail. I want to scream. But who does that benefit? No one. And for that I’m an unfeeling cunt.

I;m sorry, I really can’t figure out who is who, or your relationships to each other. Other than that, I’m sorry this happened.

My thoughts exactly. Can you provide a list of the dramatis personae? Who or what is an Emo?

I’d say you reacted rather normally.

Fucking pedophiles! they should all have a taste of their own medicine with an OX and jar of dirty vasoline.

I too was about to post asking for a cast of characters. Here’s my guess: Emo is your ex also, the father of LilMiss and was just stopping by when he got the call or is staying with you temporarily but is not with you with you.

Why, oh why do I keep picturing a “Tickle Me Emo ?” :frowning:

Sorry - Emo is my ex/father of LilMiss. He’s currently living in my basement. Emo is just my nickname for him.
Ex#2 is the woman he left me for/mother of Emo’s younger child.
The girlfriend is his current one - BUT he says they’re not “together”.

I can’t keep track of the characters and relationships without a scorecard, much less figure out who you’re pissed at and why.

At first i though “Emo” was your husband but then you said he had a girlfriend. If he’s not your husband, who is he to you and what business is it of yours if he lives with his girlfriend. I do think the girlfriend is right that if your daughter was molested you should get family counselling. (Or was that someone else’s family? I think you need to diagram this for us or something)

Must have something to do with visuals of sex toys and the name of one of the characters in the OP. Rather appropriate thought actually.

Diogenes - I’m upset at the whole situation.
How could someone leave a child with a person after being told very plainly that she shouldn’t?

Why is a person supposed to act in some set manner when something like this happens? Molestion? Cue rage. Nope, sorry, you must rail uncontrollably. You can’t be reserved. Nope, you’re giving me more of an unwanted touch response. Crank it up!

Why would anyone hang around a virtual strangers house, ignoring the request to reschedule, to get the ‘gossip’? Granted I should have just said “Get the hell out”.

And, I’m pissed that some yokel pedo couldn’t keep it in his pants thereby causing all of this.

Step back for a second.

Who molested whom? And who left which child in the care of which molester? How does Fred MacMurray fit into this story? How many degrees from Kevin Bacon is Emo?

Oops. Should have previewed. That helps. Lets go one issue at a time.

  1. You’re upset that the other mother didn’t immediately cancel her playdate, even though Emo told here everything was alright. Meh. Big deal. Why freak out the kids?

  2. Agreed.

  3. She was only trying to help. Correct me if I wrong, but I sense that your anger and resentment with this woman has more to do with the fact that she’s sleeping with your ex-husband than anything else. You say she’s a “psycho” for suggesting that her boyfriend and his daughter would be welcome to live with her but you don’t say why that would be so bad/ Also, since you are no longer married to this man, and it is not your daughter, I don’t see how their living arrangement should concern you at all.

  4. early childhood sexual abuse or does not get “forgotten” with time. Studies show that early trauma actually causes physiological changes to the brain which are irreversible and cause emotional and behavioral problems which can last for a person’s entire life. It doesn’t matter if they can remember the event or not. The damage is physical. Dismissing it as something the child will forget is not only factually incorrect but does indeed sound callous and flippant.

What what you describe, it sounds like you’re taking out a lot of anger on this girlfriend for reasons which have little or nothing to do with this latest conversation. If you see the brutalization of your daughter’s half-sister as “nothing to get het up about,” I can understand why others would see you as cold.

Or maybe there’s not enough information in this post for you, DtC to make this determination. Nor is there a need for a long detailed history just for you. You, DtC, are leaping to conclusions. Unless you have a reason not to take MissTake’s post at face value, there is no reason to insert your own assumptions, and I hope MissTake doesn’t feel the need to expound on these relationships simply to mollify you.

AFAICT, MissTake was married to Emo, they had a daughter LittleMiss. They divorce. Emo marries woman #2, they have a daughter (daughter #2), then they divorce. Woman #2 becomes Ex#2. Ex#2 lives near a pedophile. Pedo’s roomate tells Ex2 to keep daughter#2 away from Pedo. She doesn’t. Daughter #2 get’s molested by Pedo.
What a horrible situation. Hopefully everyone in this situation will recover.

Ah. Got it. And now Emo is back with Ex #1. As a roommate.

Yeah, sucky situation.

I didn’t jump to any conclusions. I said “sounds like,” I said “if.”

What did i not take at face value?

I’m still trying to figure out why the girlfriend is insisting LilMis go to counseling. Wasn’t LilMis’s sister the one who was molested? Or was she suggesting family counseling?

And if emo isn’t with the girlfriend, why is she referred to as the “girlfriend”? And why isn’t Emo living with her? Why is he in your basement? And if she hates you so damn much, why would she want to “console” you? Why is this traumatic to you? You’re not Lilmis’s sister’s mom, are you? Sure, you’d be angry and upset, but shouldn’t the girlfriend be trying to “console” Ex2?

So many questions, so many questions…

I think that major problem I have with the OP is too much info, rather than too little. **Omega Glory ** did a bang-up job summarizing (assuming he’s correct).

I’m sorry for what your family is going through. I’m still unsure as to who your ire is directed toward, but I hope you can all work through it and get the little girl help. And of course, I hope that the pedo gets what he deserves for this.

This is the only place I am with you. You don’t do it, ever.

*If * it’s warranted? Wrong.



She needs counseling, probably everybody does, especially you with your ignorance of how much even the smallest trauma can upset you. A man in my family touched me inappropriately once when I was a child, it was not the end of the world, not as bad as so many others have had, but I have never ever forgotten it. And it was over 15 years ago.

My heart goes out to the little one, though.

Sorry for your pain, but your story still doesn’t make a lick of friggin sense.