I am such a fucking moron (long vent)

The BBQ Pit
1

Way back in time I posted this thread about letting my ex move in. After I posted the thread I didn’t hear much from him. A few weeks later my basement was filled with some of his belongings (bed, dresser, TV), but no Emo. Okay. I can be a storage facility. I figured he had to out of where he was living, so he moved the big stuff here and went back to living with the GF. Not that he called to let me know any of this, of course. However, I did have a nice few convos with the GF and realized that they both are fricking stone cold idiots. They deserve each other, really.

Flash forward to last Thursday. I was yippee excited because he has finally paid his child support arrears in full, he was back on track, and I didn’t have to see him - just his stuff. I can handle that. Nope. The same day I received a nifty check for LilMiss he comes over and lets me know he was shitcanned at work.
Fuck.
Fuckity fuck fuck.
Granted it’s not much, but it’s what pays for the clothes LilMiss goes through seemingly weekly, her allergy meds (inherited from… her dad), and for us to maybe take in a movie and to give her an allowance.

I can deal with it. We’ll just have to scale down. Went to the cabin for the weekend, relaxed, got my head on straight. Came home Tuesday…

To Emo moving the rest of his crap into my basement. NO!! To top it off, he did it while the GF was at work. She came home to find him and his stuff gone and promptly came over and began catterwauling in my driveway. To give Emo a bit of credit, I told him I didn’t want her in my house and he complied. I am surprised no one called the cops.

So, since Tuesday I’ve had my ex’s unemployed ass in my house. And I FUCKING HATE IT. He asked, and we got him registered for unemployment, which will be a pittance. We also sat down and printed off some job openings. Pretty promising job leads. If not in his field, jobs that would pay pretty decent for someone of his abilities. Did he call on them? Hell no! He’s HOPING to get a job managing a fucking Subway. YOU’RE A CHEF YOU FUCK! Can I drive your ass around to look for a job? I GAVE you the bus schedules, I’m working, you have feet. No, you can’t use my car. Gas is up to $2.20/gallon and I KNOW you won’t fill up the tank when you’re done.

Whoop-de-fucking-do, you’ll make dinner. I have to buy the groceries, of course. Go ahead, drink a fucking gallon of milk a day, I don’t mind. So what if my grocery bill has more than doubled since you’ve been here. I mave money just flying out of my ass. FUCKTARD. I didn’t ASK if you LIKED pork chops, it’s what there is. You want something different? GO BUY IT YOURSELF. Oh, that’s right. YOU’RE NOT WORKING. BUT you CAN go to the bar with your buddies. And WHY should I mind when the barbimbo you chatted up calls over here. But that’s between his ex GF calling 4 -5 times a day and all of his buddies calling here, and his previous co-workers calling here. Yes it does bother me and NO I WON’T PUT IN ANOTHER FUCKING PHONE LINE FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE!

I suppose I should thank you for locking up when you went out Friday night. If you did so. No, I come home to the front door unlocked, the TV on, the bathroom a shambles, and you left all your lights on downstairs. I asked you last night to lock the back door. “I did”. No you didn’t, you asshat. Granted, I live in a fairly safe area, but not enough to leave the doors unlocked overnight! Okay, maybe my slamming the door shut saying “WHAT THE FUCK? Are you a MORON?” loudly wasn’t quite appropriate, but when I’ve been woken by your ex fucking girlfriend calling at 8 in the fucking morning after listening to you whine until 3 in the fucking morning, I think I have a right to be cranky! OH! We’re out of clean dishes? Then don’t take a clean one for everything. Seriously, if you’ve had toast on a plate, you can rinse it off. Or better yet? WASH THEM!! Wait! Look! My favorite glass!! The one you used drinking my beer. It’s in the garbage!! Broken. You’ll buy me another one? WITH WHAT? MY MONEY??

Between you and your child I am about ready to go postal. I get annoyed enough having to remind her to pick up after herself, but she’s 11. YOU’RE 34! And can we talk about your promise to spend time with her on Thursday night, but then disappearing? I don’t care if your ex fucking girlfriend was in tears. And don’t try to explain that you didn’t really promise - I WAS THERE.

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Why the FUCK did I agree to this. I’m glad you appreciate it. I know I “saved your ass”. Who’s going to save my sanity? When I ask you to do something, like, maybe, take your laundry out, don’t nod at me and keep doing whatever you’re doing. Then, when I remove your stuff an hour later and plop it on your bed, don’t you DARE say you didn’t know I needed the washer. Fucker.

2

It’s ultimatum time.

3

Wow! And double WOW!

If it were me … now, let’s see… Move his stuff back onto the driveway and announce a yard sale, which will help pay for his keep over the past few days.

Then, advertise him on eBay for a few cents - someone’s bound to take him off your hands.

Change the locks.

Forget about child payments - once a loser, always a loser. Your life energy aint worth wasting on hassling him for money, that’s for sure.

Say goodbye and move your and your 11 yr old’s life onwards and upwards. It can only get better.

4

“Why the FUCK did I agree to this.”
Wow, I have no idea, but I hope you’re making a plan to get his freeloading ass and all his shit out of your house. I suggest an eviction notice. Why in the world would you put up with any of that nonsense?

5

Man, MissTake, I like you and all, but I keep looking at your username and OP and thinking “Synchronicity, baby!”

6

And you’re posting about this stupid, avoidable situation why, again? I understand a good vent as much as the next person, but you don’t seem to have included what you’re doing to fix this situation you’ve got yourself in.

7

I’ll chime in with the rest that you need to tell this fool to get out of your house. You don’t owe his flakey, deadbeat ass a damned thing.

8

You’re a good person by giving him a helping hand and all, but if he is making you lose your mind- boot him.

It’s better for you to not lose your mind, it’s better for your daughter to not see her bum dad make her mom lose her mind, it’s better for everyone.

9

Yeah, it does sound pretty moronic.

I learned a long fucking time ago that my daughter’s dad is a piece of shit and that he’s never going to do the right thing. I cannot imagine offering up favors.

You have a responsibility to yourself and your child, not to him. He’s taking advantage of you and you’re allowing it. I hope you’ll find a way to resolve it before your daughter gets the idea that it’s okay to live like that.

10

I am not an attorney, but give him a 30 day eviction notice in writing. Tell him what date he must have be out of your house and indicate whether or not that includes his belongings. Keep a copy of what you give to him.

After that, check with your local bar to see where you can get information about eviction law where you live. Sometimes it is not as easy as 1-2-3.

Whatever you do, don’t put his stuff outside or sell it until you understand what the laws are. You might have to pay for it.

Come here to rant and scream, you poor baby. Don’t put the daughter in the middle anymore than she already is.

What would happen if you stopped picking up after them for the next thirty days?

11

I think this is where the technical meets the practical. Once you start doing things like giving 30 day written notices and acting like you are afraid of the legal consequences of throwing this deadbeat out of your house, he will realize you are afraid of the legal consequences and simply have another lever to use against you.

Normal people do not give 30 days written notice to remove someone who is not paying rent and has not been staying as a tenant from their house. 99 out of 100 people also will not think, “Hey, she kicked my freeloading ass out of the house, I’m going to bring an action from wrongful eviction.” But by giving the notices, etc., particularly if you don’t do it right, you’ll give someone an idea they never had before.

12

Yeah, I think changing the locks and all his stuff on the front lawn should be enough of a hint for this loser. I’d give him a week to find a new place, then that’s it. Time’s up, get out.

Zoe, were you being serious about the “poor baby”? Cause I don’t see anybody here who deserves my sympathy, except the daughter (and maybe a current husband who is putting up with this ridiculousness).