I’m about to contradict someone’s advice. Never ask someone out by asking if she is doing anything on Saturday night. Just make your suggestion and if she is busy, she will let you know.
Just a hint. I have always been attracted to guys that teased me or have had a nickname for me. Nothing too obvious, but something silly like “Funny Face” or “Monkey.” That established sort of an ease between us.
Time was, the law of natural selection ruled: the unfit did not date, and were thus kept from reproducing.
Sorry for the lack of updates. I’ve been real busy the last two days with work and school. Thankfully, I am now on Christmas vacation. The school semester is finally dead, and I couldn’t be more relieved. I visited the store yesterday, but again, she wasn’t there. The anxiety filled, spastic wait continues!
I’m prepared for either. I’d like this person to be someone who shares a few interests and quirks with me, but I really don’t know her. If I don’t relate to her as well as I think I might, then being friends is better than nothing. And even if we do have a lot in common, the decision between friends or something more, is ultimately hers.
After thinking about it, I can see how a invite to a fancy dinner might freak someone out. The “old fashioned ideas” notion is about right. Like I said, I really have no clue how to go about asking someone out and I hadn’t thought about the pressure I’d be forcing on someone by asking them out to a pricey resteraunt, but I see where you’re coming from.
Still, I think asking her out for a bite to eat in the foodcourt and holiday shopping is the plan to go with. Asking someone out for coffee sounds like something you’d do talking to someone on your college’s campus, or when you know their off, not neccesarily something you plan days ahead to do.
Ya know…as indifferent as I am to pool, I gotta admit I’ve had some pretty good conversations while playing. Every hit or miss tends to bring to mind something to say. You’re certaintly on to something there. The zoo doesn’t sound like a bad outing with someone either, but it’s probably a more suiting venture to embark on with someone I know.
The Christmas show event is over now. It’s probably best we didn’t go to that since it ended up being more religious that I thought it would be. It was like church, only with more music. It would have been really akward since I don’t know what religion this person subscribes to, or if she’s religious at all. I was raised Christian, but floundering towards Agnostic myself. I just thought they were going to play some Christmas tunes, and maybe sell hot cocoa someplace.
Like I’m said, I’m taking that book with a lot of salt. It has a few gems in it, but a lot of the stuff they’ve said about men is just ridiculous, and some of the pointers it’s giving about woman don’t sound right either. Hadn’t really thought about what her manager’s reaction to my questions said about her…that’s an interesting observation that I missed. Even more interesting since I’ve spoken to him quite a bit at break and he was a pretty social guy.
Eek. That approach sounds a little…strong. It’s certaintly what I think about her, but it’s a bit much to say it all at once isn’t it?
I’m familiar with table manners, it’s just I often resort to my caveman roots while eating and begin doing something horrible in order to fill my gullett. I just have to pay very close attention to what I’m doing. This will make things uncomfortbale for me, but I’m sure it’s worth it. As for chewing with my mouth open and slurping soup? Never. I just tend to lean over my plate a lot, and put too much food into my mouth. Horrible, horrible.
I’m very thankfull to be living in the electrical age right now. Great advice in this thread. When all is said and done, I think I’ll print everything out and staple it together. Hide it away someplace untill either I or someone else needs it. And I’m sure people will be linking dopers to this thread when they have similiar problems for awhile. Thanks everyone.
I think I’ll do alright at this shopping thing if we go through with it. I likes me a woman with style. Not an attention magnet mind you, but someone who looks nice and slightly distinctive. My sister is a great person to shop for. She’s very easy going, and there’s plenty of things she likes, but won’t buy for herself. I was thinking of getting her a copy of The Princess Bride, and something else. The something else I’ll probably need help on. The CD/DVD store is a must stop, but I’d really like it if we ended up in the bookstore :).
Well there’s two problems in doing this
I don’t think was the case with her manager at all. A while back he described himself as having been a “player” back in his day and would even date five women at once. He claimed they all knew about each other, but didn’t mind his multiple girlfriends. So I don’t think he’d be too uptight in helping someone get to know a gal. And his recepetion towards my questions were certaintly warm enough. He told me to go for it and good luck…he just didn’t know what any of her interests were, or if she was dating. He also strongly suggested I transfer to the store he works at and told me it way way better than the one I’m at now. Which I’m considering. I’m wondering how to mention this if short term goals comes up in conversation while I’m out with this person. I’d have to mention I was in the next town over speaking to her old manager for some reason.
The “Can I talk to you for a sec” approach is what I’m going for. It’s the best I have to work with given the circumstances.
Hahaha. I have a sense of humor that knows no bounds, but that sounds like suicide for a first outing. If I got to know her more, sure, but untill then this suggestion is probably left on the backburner.
I love the username. That is all.
I plan going out again soon and seeing if she’s working.
The revised line is as follows: Would youm like to get something to eat and go Christmas shopping with me tommorrow (Thursday)?
Anything wrong with that?
Yeah, the extra “m.”
Good luck! We’re all going to wait here, breathless, for you.
Hopefully typos don’t tranfer verbally 
Seriously though, I’m not too keen on the whole “Christmas shopping” thing. To me, it comes across as wussy. Maybe I’m off on this, but I just don’t think it’s that strong of an activity to do with someone you hardly know, not to mention how many guys really enjoy shopping? Maybe you do, I don’t know, but like I said, it just comes across as a weak attempt at a date.
Myself? I’d lean towards the pool suggestion, or the cliche, but dependent dinner and a movie.
Before entering the store again, I needed to have a purpose to be there. I obviously needed to buy something so people wouldn’t wonder why the hell I kept wandering in and out of the store if she wasn’t there again. Ice. We were out of it. Several people buy nothing but ice. Nothing suspicious about ice. Yet another person congratulated me on the Employee of the Month thing. They just put my picture up, so now everybody knows.
“Way to go! How’d you do it?!”
“Umm…well, it was during the hurricane season, and four people or so approached people at the cash register to rave about the great job I was doing making sammiches. Also, I was chaulk full of caffine and sugar. At break I drank one mountain dew, two huge cups of iced and creamed coffee, and ate two chocolate cream filled donuts”
“Geez, maybe I should try that. Teehee!”
Yeah…well, back to the ice, which is right beside the Bakery. I took a look to see if she was working. She was! And her co-workers were circling her like gossiping wolves! Cripes. I approached the counter and the co-woker with the thick Boston accent starting chatting with me.
"Aaaaaaaye,what are you doin’ here on your day off? "
“Eh. Buying ice. We’re out.”
Obviously, this was a conversation I was going to have to keep going. I’m not sure where it was going, but this individual is usally fun to chat with.
“Ya know, I noticed in the parking lot I was the only person without a sweater or long sleeves. What’s that about? I know some of the people that work here are from up North, I figured they’d be used to this.”
“I don’t know. You don’t think it’s cold?”
“Not that cold, but then I loathe Florida’s usual weather. I’d like to move to Alaska someday. I hear they need pilots up there, and that sounds like a career I could really sink my teeth into. Just flying stuff to and fro Alaska. I’ve been meaning to read about this while on Christmas Vacation.”
A customer moves in beside us: “Alaska you say? My brother in law just got transfered there!”
Me: “Really? How cold is it?”
“Oh he says it’s real cold. In the 20s or so. Real miserable too, 'cause ya know, it’s night time over there since it’s winter. Very depressing he says.”
About two to three minutes later the three way conversation broke up. The employee I was talking to had to help someone. I was back on track. But then she noticed me standing there.
“You need anything”
“Uh…yeah, I just wanted to talk to her”.
“Hay! Joe says he wants to talk to you!”.
She turned around and came over.
“Yeah, would youm like to get something to eat tommorrow and go Christmas shopping?”
(Goddamnit JoeSki! The line was Would you like to get something to eat and go Christmas shopping tommorrow?. And where the hell did that bloody m come from?! You asshat!)
“Yeah. What time?”
“Anytime really. I got the day off.”
“Yeah, let me give you my phone number”
She scurried around for a piece of paper and pen before I realized what she was doing, and told her not to worry 'bout it since I had a pen and already, pre-ripped- piece of paper. Do I have my stuff together or what?
“I may not be able to leave the house, I need to wait for someone to come by and fix my computer. It’s all messed up.”
Two co-workers in unison: yadda yadda yadda yadda WWoooooOOOooooo!!!
I imagine they were talking about us. Damnit.
I pocket the number, wish her a good day, and purchase the ice. Before I left I noticed her crack a smile.
When I sat down in my GMC Jimmy, I had to rummage through my pocket to make sure I still had the piece of paper with the number on it. Not that I didn’t think it was real, but the idea that I would have lost it was a thought so terrible, I just had to make sure it wasn’t true. Much like looking in your closet after watching Gremlins for the first time at a young age. And I have lost things in record braking time before.
Right now my head is a pendelum swinging between happy and anxiety filled. If you were to look at me right now, you’d swear someone just told me a very strange joke that I was still trying to work out.
Anyways: 
WONDERFUL! Congratulations for getting up your courage and just asking her! And on her saying yes! HOORAY!
I’ve been following this thread for a while now but not saying anything, but I’ve been cheering for you.
I quoted the line above simply because it delighted me to no end, and gave me a big belly laugh that I desperately needed today!
I hope you guys have fun shopping together!
Kickass, my friend. That’s awesome! Have a great time with her and, of course, report back to those of us who live vicariously through others
does the happy happy joy joy dance
Now all you have to do is fret until tom"m"orrow. Good job!
Kudos, congradulations, adulations and whatever other signs that we are proud of you that I can make up without looking in a thesaurus.
Major props man, let us know if it all goes through well.
One of the big tip-offs that Mrs. Trupa was *the * one for me was the number of our dates that involved a book store & then a park somewhere to read under a tree. 
Book shopping is in fact a great and vastly underrated romantic activity that can provide for tons of conversation openers and great opportunities for getting to know more about each other. My Dad used to say there are a number of ways of getting to know someone’s true character in a short time:
-see how they treat their mother & their subordinates.
-play 18 holes of golf with them
-observe them in a situation of mortal danger (he was a WWII vet…)
-observe them in an ethical dilemma when they think no one will know their actions
-look at what’s on their bookshelf.
Best of luck, Joe, the hard part’s over; now the fun part begins…
The Future Mr. MercyStreet and I did a lot of courtin’ in secondhand book stores. The weird titles we found made for great conversation.
I’m enjoying your tale, JoeSki. In moments of self-doubt, remind yourself that millions of people do what you’re doing every day. It’s the way the world goes 'round.
Congrats!!
Just be sure you do not put those pants in the wash with the phone number still in the pocket! (The guy I am currently dating did this on our first date, although since our mothers worked together he was able to scrounge up my mother’s cell phone number. My mom laughed her ass off that morning.)
Congratulations, JoeSki! I hope everything goes well. Try to remember to relax and have a good time.
That’s when you take your pen and rewrite her number on an inconspicuous place ON the dash or in the glove compartment so it won’t get lost…Trust me, it works.
One other thing…she’s probably got her own pendulum swinging too…if you keep this in perspective, the way you two will react to each other will be totally understandable to each other. Don’t sweat it.
I took my wife bowling on the first date and we had a blast, even though we sucked at it. There’s an added bonus to bowling…you get to see both sides of your date, if you know what I mean…
Anyways, another “Good for you!” and “Good Luck!”
Yay, JoeSki! Eagerly awaiting further developments.
Thanks everyone. The cheers are music to my ears .
Updates will be posted as soon as I’m able to report back.
Awesome. I love to hear that other people are getting something out of this thread, and it’s esspecialy rewarding to find someone is getting something out of a post I wrote. A laugh even!
Not bad things to consider. Especially the bit about a persons relationship with his parents. A person could get the wrong idea about judging someone on the contents of their bookshelf though. You got to keep in mind many people read books from librarys, and have to return them. Still, most people like to own books that influenced them the most.
I’m sure I’ll have a fun time tommorrow, but like Elysian said, there’s going to be a lot of fretting 'till then. My mind feels like it’s in the middle of running a marathon. I’m facing a huge wall of anxiety. Of course there will come a time tommorrow when I’ll have to toss my problems to the wind, and crash through the wall screaming “OH YEAH!” like a crazed Kool Aid man, lest I drag both me and my partner in shopping down by being half empty.
No worries. As soon as I got home, I made a copy of the number, saved it to my computer, and slipped the original into my wallett.
That’s a comforting thought. I need to get off the idea that her or anyone else is expecting the world of me, while having no notion of contributing to a good time out.
I’ve been running plenty of things through my head. Are we driving seperate vehicles? Should I suggest we take my Jimmy and pick her up? The mall isn’t the only place to shop at after all, and driving around town in two seperate vehicles is bound to be a pain. What about the “get something to eat” bit? It just occured to me how little character your average mall food court posseses. There is a new pizza place down the street from the mall. Perhaps we should stop there. What is a decent time to call? 2:00?
Bah. This will all pass. But untill then, these are trying times.
I guess you were fretting, since your last post was from 1 AM! I hope you got some sleep.
I think the pendulum-swinging metaphor was a good one. She’s probably all giddy and delighted that someone noticed her. Just remember, you’re both going to be really tense and happy at the same time, and emotions can kind of go haywire in those situations. Be gentle and try to put her at ease.
Oh, and go easy on the cologne!
I think one of my sweetest memories is when my husband would hold my hand when we were first courting and his hand would be all clammy because he was nervous. Aw! It made me want to ruffle his hair and smooch him. What a sweetie!
You just know that a doper named FlourGirl is about to start a thread entitled: Cute/Shy Deliboy asked me out!