I found out Wednesday that I can no longer drink. I like drinking. I think beer is good and delicious and I miss it already.
So my husband goes out today and buys a six pack and puts it in the refrigerator. I open the fridge and I say, “Why did you buy a six pack? Are you tempting me on purpose?”
His response? “Just because you can’t drink doesn’t mean I can’t. Stop being so petty”
Before he said the above, I wasn’t really angry. Just irritated by his thoughtlessness. Because in my naive and apparently petty mind, I didn’t think he’d purposely taunt me that way. I guess I was wrong.
Not that he has to stop drinking. But like I told him, if he wanted a beer why didn’t he just buy himself a beer? His answer? “It’s cold outside. Did you expect me to go to the store everytime I want a beer?”
No, I expected you to have a little consideration, you bastard. I thought you’d give a fuck about your wife, an admitted and unrepentant heavy drinker who just found out she’s got hepatitis, AND NOT BRING A GODDAMED SIX PACK INTO THE HOUSE 4 DAYS AFTER SHE FOUND OUT SHE CAN’T DRINK ANY MORE.
You fucking bastard.
P.S. Don’t ever get rid of the Pit. It is saving my marraige right now.
Whoa! Before calling him a bastard, it just may be that he doesn’t understand how inconsiderate he actually is.
You know, my wife is on a diet that precludes icecream. Me too, but I really like it so I kept bringing it home once every week and she would help eat it. I took that for consent. Yea, I can be a prick too.
Several months ago a light bulb popped into me head telling me that my wife would really appreciate it if I stopped bringing it home because I realized that she was more addicted to it than I was. I stopped.
I should point out that I can’t drink either, but my wife loves making wine. She did ask me if it was OKAY.
Anyway, I hope you make him understand what a jerk he is being.
I’d vote for unthinking rather than malicious.
(If he taunted you with “Look what I got!” I’d say that no jury would convict you for a violent reaction. But I’m not sure when the presence of a diet-restricted item becomes instant temptation. Deb and I have each had (fortunately brief) periods of avoiding certain foods and I don’t recall either of us regarding the presence of such a food as painfully tempting.)
Maybe the fact that he immediately called you “petty” meant that he expected a reaction and was already on the defensive?
Maybe he can get his own little college fridge, put it in the garage or something, and keep his beer in it? My dad does that. Then he can still have it in abundance and cold, and you don’t have to look at it every time you open the fridge.
I’m very sorry to hear about your diagnosis, Biggirl. Speaking as someone who has already gone through a kidney/liver transplant, that is not a cheerful thing to hear from one’s doctor.
Until I got a transplant I had to adhere to a diet that was low in potassium, low in sodium, and I couldn’t drink—not just alcohol, but I couldn’t drink more than a few glasses of water daily. My kidneys wouldn’t take it. It made summer agonizingly hot. In addition, I had to refrain from coffee, cocoa, chocolate, strawberries, oranges, and a number of other yummy things, and cut down on potatoes and milk. About all that remained was meat and bread.
Taking good things out of your diet is hard, I know. I hope there is a solution for you on the horizon; if you have any questions about liver transplant, just ask.
That said, your husband was acting like a complete jerk. When I couldn’t eat chocolate, at least people around me would apologize if they ate it in front of me. Your husband seems to have no intention of depriving himself for your sake—or hell, even of being discreet about where and when he drinks. The least he could do is have some sympathy.
I hope for your sake that he doesn’t continue to make things harder than they have to be.
Best check with your doc first, Biggirl. O’Doul’s is not alcohol free. And if you have hepatitis, it may well behoove you to forego even the smallest trace of ethanol.
Just think of it this way, biggirl. At the next Dopefest, you’ll be one of the few who remembers everything that happened. Instant blackmail material!
Seriously, I can definitely sympathize with you. I don’t drink either, and Airman brings the stuff home. I’ve learned to just ignore it and go about my business, but sometimes I really, really, really want one. Then I find something else to do.
Sometimes it isn’t necessarily what we say but how we say it. Are you sure you didn’t raise your voice or sound angry when you asked the question? Do you really think he’d buy beer just to tempt you into drinking it? Does the fact that you can’t drink beer mean that he shouldn’t? I don’t think it’s unreasonable for him to expect to enjoy beer at home. Unless of course you’re battling alcoholism and that’s the reason you can’t drink.
Take care of yourself