Yes, that’s true. But at least it doesn’t suck as much as finding this out about her several months or even years down the road.
Keep looking, eventually you’ll find someone – or she’ll find you, or you’ll find each other, whatever.
That’s the thing. It’s very difficult for me to tell people why I’m on SSD. I’m on it because of sever anxiety. All together; I had extremely bad anxiety, (panic attacks), depression, (mostly due to my anxiety at work and elsewhere), I also have a learning disability, (I was tested for dyslexia when I was younger, but to be honest with you, I often wonder if I’ve been misdiagnosed). I also have ADD.
If you don’t think I’m crazy, then you probably think I’m lazy.
I don’t have time to look now, but I started a thread about it. If I recall correctly, most people supported my decision, however there were a few people that didn’t. I don’t regret it at all. I’ve been toying with my medication since then, and I finally think I have the right mix. In fact, I’m really doing a LOT better, thanks to Effexor, Abilify, Xanax, and Adderall for the ADD. In fact, I’ve been feeling so much better that I told my doctor that I might want to see what life is like without the Abilify.
I have a job coach who I still see twice a month, who helped me with getting on SSD, who I’m now asking will help with my resume for a new job. In three weeks I will be searching for a new job. I’m lucky to have had this time. I appreciate it. I never wanted to be on it forever. I’ve been out of work for a while now, but only on SSD for about a year. Like I said; being out of work sucks. It’s not fun.
I still need help doing things, like managing money, and doing paperwork. I dread getting the mail because there’s often some form I have to fill out that I need my mother’s help with. God this is embarrassing to admit! I have problems. I hope everyone realizes that I’m divulging my deepest, darkest realities here. I wouldn’t be doing it if I wasn’t serious about getting some advice. Not only that… but I use this username a lot. So, I feel like the whole world knows me, and my problems. But I don’t care, because I know that I’m a good person with a big heart. I really am. I really don’t think I have anything to hide.
As for the driving… well, like anything else, I’m limited with what I can do. I don’t want to kill anyone, so I play it safe.
I was only able to re-read this post a couple of times because I need to go soon. I apologize for any errors. It takes me FOREVER to make a post this long, and make it readable.
See right now I have a plane to catch, and I’m terrified. Not that the plan will crash. But that I’ll lose something, or get on the wrong flight, or forget something, or something bad will happen.
Look after yourself, MyFootsZZZ. You’re going to be okay.
We’re in similar situations. I am embarrassed to tell people I’ve applied for disability for my severe anxiety. I’ve been in therapy for almost two years and both my therapist and shrink think I will qualify but it’s just so embarrassing for me to even talk about it with friends, much less potential partners. I haven’t worked a full-time job in over nine years, but I live simply, pretty much as my older daughter’s personal assistant. She pays the bills and I do everything else from housework to handling her money. I do the same for my roommate. They both have stressful jobs so I think I earn my keep, but I just don’t have any cash flow. I’m perfectly fine with that, but some people think it’s a shame to be so “lazy”.
I too went to OKCupid because I’m lonely but I’m definitely not interested in hookups. I was specific about that too, that I was just interested in finding friends to hang with or meet up for dinner, or even just someone online to talk to. I was very, very specific about all this and yet most of the replies have been from people looking to hookup or it’s Christians who clearly don’t understand what atheist means. I’ve tried talking to some of these guys but as soon as they finally GET that I’m not in to church or praising the Lord it all falls apart. I don’t mind dating Christians. My last relationship was with a Catholic and we did just fine as long as he kept his religion out of our relationship.
Anyway, I feels ya.
There’s ages sites for Meet-Ups that are for groups with common interests. I would encourage you to look at things like that. I have made a ton of friends through running/triathlon/CrossFit groups, but I don’t know if that works for you. If you can find a group that shares an interest, there are lots of friends to be made.
If you found a drug that makes you feel a lot better, you probably should consider staying on it…
Sounds like you’re in good shape, and you understand rationally this whole dating thing, even though your emotions are still emotiony. So, since you asked, yes, date all you want.
For making regular friends, why not try anxiety support groups?
:eek:What are you afraid will be cut off?
Sorry, couldn’t resist…
Thanks so much. It means more than you might think! I feel a little guilty that I never visit MPSIMS and wish people who are going through a difficult time well.
Luckily, these meds I’m on are really helping. I think I’ll be ok.
Rushgeekgirl
I’ve been waiting to respond to you since I was at the airport, reading your reply. I would love to know more about your situation, but I understand that you’ve already revealed a lot, and probably don’t want to give out any more personal information. I want to thank you for being open about your problem with anxiety. I feel better knowing that I’m not alone. If you ever want to talk, don’t hesitate to PM me. I would be very interested in learning more about you.
Poysyn
I get notices about Atheist Meet-Ups all the time, but I can never get a ride.
LibrarySpy
I went to one a few times actually… but it was more for depression. I just don’t know if it’s the right environment for me right now. The last time I went, there were a ton of sad stories and some crying.
Doctor Jackson
Nothing I actually need if I don’t find a girlfriend 
So, anyone know the best way I should go about telling women all this stuff? 
Yes, I agree if you’ve found a cocktail that’s working for you, the last thing you should do is change it. Like someone on antibiotics who stops taking them as soon as they feel better, making the infection come back worse than it was in the first place. Not the best analogy, but I think it makes my point.
If you keep dating with the mindset that it’s good practice and not putting too much expectation into it, I think it’s good idea. Especially while you’re on a mix of meds that’s working and may help deal with the emotions that come with dating and meeting new people.
Sometimes there are bars or local comic shops that host game nights, that could be something to look for, or local park districts/libraries that hold classes in certain crafts or special interests for cheap. I’ve met some neat people in photography classes, stained glass window making, pottery. Also, volunteering to walk dogs at the local animal shelter, maybe even helping with training if you make friends with the people who work with the dogs.
Yeah. Don’t.
Do not dump this on people you know casually. Especially not on people you’ve just met. Absolutely never on someone you want to develop a romantic relationship with.
In due time, as you get to know people and they share some personal stuff with you, you might consider sharing some personal stuff with them. But always say much less than you think you want to. Good people and good friends will figure it out and understand in time. People who you know casually do not need to know this level of detail.
Finally, try to make it your personal habit not to over share and draw attention to your own faults. It’s shocking how many people have this unfortunate habit: ‘I’m fat. I’m not smart. I’m too short. I’m <whatever>.’ It serves no good purpose. Everyone has faults. There is nothing to be gained by announcing to everyone you know what you are insecure about.
What do I say when they ask what I do?
What do I say when I can’t pick someone up for a date?
Good advice to give me **now **though, I’m in Myrtle Beach and can say whatever I want. 
You don’t have to explain the intimate details on the first date:
-“Between assignments”.
-“Looking for a new opportunity”.
Plenty of people don’t have a driver’s license. No shame in that.
That’s pretty good. I like it becaue it’s actually true. 
Nearly every contact I’ve made on OKCupid falls apart for precisely this reason. I’ve been trying to figue out how to overcome this. Anybody, Bueller?
Are you looking specifically for atheists? Because I’m sure there are atheists-only dating sites out there. Maybe those would work better than OKCupid.
MyFootsZZZ meet Rushgeekgirl.
Rushgeekgirl meet MyFootsZZZ.
Now that’s not so hard. Two lonely people solved.
Next!!!
See that is one of the things that drove me away from OK Cupid. I realized I don’t want to meet and couple with someone who thinks 97% the same as me. I would rather meet and talk to people with different views and opinions and interests. Otherwise I won’t ever grow as a person.
I say be this woman’s friend and don’t try and change her just ask questions and learn some new ways of looking at the world.
Yes but… why?
Were you asking me? Not specifically, but also would prefer to avoid in your face Christianity or any other religion for that matter. I guess for me its a matter of how I want to spend my limited free time, and on a pew aint one of them.