I'm engulfed in porn (tapes).

A few days ago my SO was arranging a big cardboard box someone had thrown in the apt. dumpster because the way it was sitting in there,it took up too much room. She tipped it up on its’ side and it fell open, revealing video cassettes with very revealing pictures on them. Yes, someone had disposed of what was probably their entire porn collection.

She brought 4 or 5 tapes to me and asked if I wanted any. I said “Yes, all of them”. She said “You don’t understand, there’s a huge box full of them”. "I said “Bring up what you can”.

I wound up with 3 plastic bags of porn, which I think comes to 44 tapes. She said “There’s still a bunch more down there, but that’s all this smut-mule is transporting”.

I don’t have a VCR, but she does, so we “screened” 3 or 4 of them. They seemed to be in mint condition and a lot of them are priced at around $40.

Now,I should say here that porn does nothing for me. It’s laughable for a bit,but quickly becomes boring. (I did get to see Ron Jeremy though,whom I have noticed some of the porn perverts on THIS VERY SITE reference, usually in an eeeeewy way. I would have to concur).

A couple of questions:

  1. Why would this mystery fanatic throw out his/her (Although I doubt the “her” part) supposedly complete colection. Oh,I should say that all the tapes seem to be hetero geared.

  2. Is there any legal way for me to make money with these things. Can I sell them at reduced prices to porn shops? Or individuals? If not they’ll wind up back in the trash, after a cursory peek, of course. No, really.

  1. Well, either he was threw them away to prevent them from being found by a new girlfriend/wife, or they were found by said girlfriend/wife and she threw them away!

  2. EBAY those suckers!!! If you have 40 tapes and manage to sell them for $10 a piece average, that’s $400 !!!

That’s pretty funny.

  1. Maybe they were left at the home of a scorned SO. Throwing them out was the SO getting even. Maybe it was their “secret” stash and when found they had to trash them. Maybe they were moving in with someone and couldn’t take the collection with them.

  2. As with any second hand junk, before throwing it away see if you can get anything for it on ebay. It’s worth a shot.

Anyone with that many tapes in this here Age of Information is probably a little unstable to begin with, so his motives are probably disturbing and shrouded in mystery.

Sadly, you should check the obituaries. Sounds to me like someone came to an untimely demise and left a lovely surprise for his loved-ones.

Upon reading your story I immediately thought of the Man-Show skit where they advertise a business that will come in and clean up your porn after you die so your wife (or mother) won’t find it.

See if there are any Janine or Jenna Jameson tapes. Nothing else is worth a look.

Am I the only one that thought they could have been stolen?

Or, someone found them and threw them away.

Maybe somebody was born again or had some such epiphany.

Either way the eBay idea is a great one.

I know some people think it causes blindness, stuttering, and hairy palms. I’ve never heard of it being fatal, though.

I’ve never used eBay and don’t even know if I CAN with my rinky-dink webtv.

Supposing that I can, whoever wanted them would have to prove they’re over 18,no? How does that work,and how does the product get from here to there?

Ellis Dee:

When you say Janine or Jenna Jameson, are you simply unsure of the first name,or are they two different people?

Ick. I don’t think I’d want to handle some stranger’s porn collection.

Wash your hands a lot. Disinfect the boxes. Don’t eat any finger foods.

Technically, you have to be 18 to even have an account on eBay. It sure didn’t prevent me back in 9th grade, but there you go. (The eBay part, not the getting porn part. Well, I mean… never mind.)

I know nothing about WebTV, but if you can post to this board then you can post items up on Ebay. It would help to have pictures of the items though, so a digital camera and a way to post the pictures from it on the net would be nice. You could get a friend with a real computer to help you and give them a cut of the action. You might also be able to find pictures of the same movies already on the net somewhere. That would save you a lot of trouble, but will take a lot of digging around in sites that sell porn tapes.

Ebay takes care of the age verification. As far as payment, having a PayPal account would be ideal but you can specify whatever form of payment (Check/Money Order/Foodstamps) you’d like. Once you receive the payment, you ship the item via UPS/FedEx/USPS, whatever.

If you’re just starting out on Ebay, it’ll probably help if you buy a few really cheap items and get positive feedback. That way, people won’t be scared away by a “0” feedback rating. But I doubt some diehard porn-hounds will be very concerned about your rating…

Ebay has certain item categories (porn included) that require users to go through a real age-verification process. They don’t just take your word for it.

May I say you have a mega cool SO, and where can I get one like that?

Zap:

Just hang around the same woman for 33 years or so,until she begins to trust you. (Or maybe realizes the opposite sex would be hard put not to laugh if you attempted a come-on). Stupid women…

OOps,6:00 AM. Time for MST3K in these here parts. With your SN I’m sure you understand why I gotta go.

:smack:

So THAT’S where that box went!

  1. He got a girlfriend!
  2. Unsure

If you didn’t want to fool with them too much one by one you could just list them all as a collection and make up some story about how they all have to go. Bear in mind the eBay item title can ony have 45 characters maximum so you have to word it carefully for maximum impact.

ie

“Born Again not Porn Again! It’s Gotta Go!”

“Porn! Porn! Porn! … and more Porn!!”

“The perfect retirement gift”

“I’ve lost the will to whack- Buy my porn!”

Maybe he was just tired of it. I’m reminded of the Simpsons episode where Krusty dumps a box marked “used up porno” at his curbside.

Then again, maybe he discovered the Internet and realized he doesn’t have to pay for porn anymore, plus he he gets to look at different women every time instead of the same old videos.

And there’s always the possibility that he captured all of the VHS tapes and burned them to DVDs. After all, nobody wants to wait for a tape to fast-forward or rewind when they’re in the middle of the kinds of activities that people who watch tapes like that tend to be in the middle of when they’re watching tapes like that. Damn, that’s a pretty crappy sentence, huh? Well, you get my point. I hope.

astro:

Hee! Good titles and a good idea.

So I registered at eBay, but I’m waiting for a VISA card that should arrive any day and I need that PIN to make any transactions. I guess I’ll just putter around the site and try to figure out how things are done

I want to thank all you pervs who (I almost said “gave me a helping hand”, but I’m not giving up straight lines that easily. I’ll start over).

Thanks for your help,everyone.