Wow, you won the baby pool! I have yet to see the money from the baby pools involved with our children.
If you do one thing right in your life that will endear you to your sister, bring her flowers and/or chocolate while in the hospital. And, to score big points, do a sign ( bought or handmade) that says, " It’s a Boy/Girl/hermaphadite" and hang it on their house. Not having that done for either children was possibly the biggest disappointments for me.
Maybe save the newspaper of the day the little one was born. I always meant to do that with our kids, but it’s on list next to " work out and drink more water."
One last thing. Before you pick up the tyke, wash your dirty germ infested hands. ( by your second or third kid, you don’t care as much, but with the first kid, everyone looks like a walking disease waiting to infect the Precious Child.)
Here are some cliches to practice on before you see your sister’s child:
“s/he’s so little.”
“s/He looks like…” ( Insert the relative that most annoys your sister)
" What little fingers."
“What long fingers…s/he’s going to be a piano player.”
" How come s/he’s bowlegged?"
“Do they always look like this”
“How precious.”
“Hey this doesn’t look like a cat.”
Things you must say to your neice/nephew:
“Hi, WWF is fake. And the third word to end in “gry” is…”
To your sister you jump start her post partum depression by saying things like, " Gee, I thought you’d be skinnier after having the baby." (yeah, I got this, why do you ask?)
To your brother in law you must say, " Condolences on the loss of your sex life."
Congrats, Bratman! You look great for having your first neice/nephew!
