That is some terrible advice. Thanks Terrible Advice Fairy.
For what it’s worth, here’s my experience:
My high school girlfriend left me for an older woman. We had a bitter breakup, and didn’t speak for about five years (well, we spoke about once a year, until we finally were able to hash through the travails of our breakup).
Around the time we started talking again, she told me that she’d developed a crush on her next-door neighbor, a dreamy guy. Huh? I thought. Wha-??
And soon, she’d broken up with her girlfriend (same one she’d dumped me for). Had a passionate affair with neighbor-boy. Moved to Mexico and met the man of her dreams. Last June, she got married, to a man.
Some folks’ sexuality is more fluid than other folks’, I think. Maybe Jen’s one of those folks; maybe not.
Daniel
Cut your losses. Let her go. Do not be in love with her.
Trust me on this one.
Hank: Is is possible she might be bisexual? I would inquire of her before writing off a romance.
That is what I was thinking. I could deal with that.
Lesbians like me a lot, I don’t know why, must be something about being Deaf. At any rate I treat them as people too, just like I treat any other person. Sure, I have been attracted to them & when they see that, whether real or imagined they usually say, ‘oh, handy, I’m a lesbian’… Not that it stops me or anything from telling them how attractive they are 
So that’s why you call yourself “handy”!
In fact, there’s a certain long-winded soliloquy that Ben Affleck delivers in this movie, which some women have assured me is one of the most romantic speeches ever said on screen.
If worse comes to worst, you could try using that speech on your lesbian heartthrob in a last-ditch attempt to win her love. (Just be aware that it may also drive her away, because you’ll be layin’ all your cards on the table.)
rickjay- how may I acquire the services of the terrible advice fairy? I searched in google, to no avail.
Lily Putt: this is where you can find the Terrible Advice Fairy.
As a lesbian who’s tried dating men I liked a lot as friends and got along with perfectly… it didn’t work. Friendship is possibly the most important thing in a relationship, but it’s not the only thing. Without any attraction just holding hands felt awkward… kissing had no appeal at all. If she’s really a lesbian (and not bi, and not open to trying you out) I’d just try to forget about it.
And don’t write her love poems and give her nice jewelry out of nowhere. Please, in the name of god, don’t do that. Trust me on this.
Uh oh. I sent her some silver from Mexico a couple months ago. She seemed to like it and the thought. Could be wrong. Maybe she didn’t want to hurt my feelings.
As far as poetry, I am a songwriter, what did you expect me to do? She has heard the song performed. I think she was embarassed.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=162702
Could your desire for her be driven by the unattainable , the novel,the chase ?
Have you any past bisexual relationship yourself?
Maybe you should find an oppurtunity to ask her : Under what circumstances could we be lovers?
Very possible that some of the attraction lies therein. Not all of it, mind you. I was feeling pretty good about things before I found out she was gay. A friend of mine says I go looking for these kind of things because I am not happy, short of emotional chaos.
I have dated a bisexual woman before, if that is what you are asking. I have never had such an encounter myself.
Yep. Looking for just that opportunity and the right words to say.
Why didn’t you make a Valentine confession?
Face to face may not be the best approach.
If a male friend said he wanted a relationship with you wouldn’t you want to think about the kindest way to redlight or greenlight?
FYI this is my humble bisexual advice.
Well… it could just be me. But when a guy who knew I was a lesbian did those things to me, it just made me feel really uncomfortable and slightly annoyed. I mean, how would you feel if a guy (assuming you’re straight) started giving you expensive gifts and singing love songs for you? A little flattered, sure, but at least in my case it also made me very uncomfortable.
I guess all I’m saying is not to push it if she knows you like her and she’s still ignoring it or flat-out telling you “I’m gay.” And I can’t help but feel really annoyed when I read ideas to try to change her mind… if she’s honestly not attracted to men, she’s not. Speeches will just make it more uncomfortable. You might have to just accept that this can’t happen, and try to move on. I don’t want to sound cold, but… some things just can’t be.
I sent a card. Nothing too serious.
I have thoroughly considered this from the point of view you mention. I had a guy with a crush on me once. He acted about like I am now. I talked to him and was kind and flattered but not interested. He was disappointed but seemed to appreciate the gesture.
After all the advice here, I think I will have to screw up my courage and talk to her face to face and get it out.
I do realize all of this could be making Jen uncomfortable but if it is, I can’t tell. She always greets me with glee and she always ask me if we are going out after the show. She makes herself comfy in her PJs and sits on the sofa with me and listens to music and talks and shares. I don’t want to change Jen. That is not an option. I just want to know what the options are and I guess it just boils down to me being afraid of the answer and/or consequences thereafter.
It sounds like you guys are really good friends, which is great. Probably asking her straight-forwardly is the best option right now after all. If nothing else, it’ll get everything out in the open.
Thanks for the advice everyone. I’ll see Jen again on 22nd next month. I’ll let you know how it turns out. SCWolf , come on out to the show. I’ll spot you a beer.