I am the president of a local youth organization, we have a lot of things going on at this time of the year.
A woman who has been part of the organization for a very long time has taken on a lot of responsibilities, she has always been a very reliable and sweet lady. Her husband had been diagnosed with cancer about a year ago and she just got word that he probably does not have much longer to live.
When I first heard of her situation, I asked if it would help if I took over her responsibilities for our organization, she said no, that she would like to continue to do it. I think she’s trying to keep life as normal as possible for her family.
The problem now is that most of the things she said she would do, haven’t been done, I certainly understand why, but a lot of our events are coming up in a few weeks and these things need to be done.
As president, it’s my responsibility to make sure everything runs smooth, and others are asking me about them, I don’t have anything to tell anyone.
I need to make sure these things get done, but I don’t want to make this lady feel bad in any way. We are in a small town so I feel that if I go and check on things, on my own, she will find out, and it would add more stress to her life. I certainly don’t want to tell her, straight up, if you can’t do it, we will.
This was the mistake, IMHO. I know you meant well, but if I had been in your position I simply would not have given her the option. I would have assumed those responsibilities (or found somebody to assume them) & advised her that she had been relieved so that she could divert her energies where they were needed. I tend to take a little more of a no-nonsense business attitude where things like this are concerned, and it would not have been difficult for me to do this, but you might be different.
I am the president of my condo association, and this kind of thing has (sort of) happened in the past. In view of the needs of the association (or greater good), tough decisions need to be made sometimes. Hopefully the affected individual will understand that it’s being done for the benifit of all.
Since it’s now too late for that, I’d take it upon myself to proceed picking up the unfinished work and pressing forward. As long as she is a rational person, I don’t see how she can feel slighted since she’s not accomplishing much (regardsless of her mitigating circumstances).
Jenny, I need a favor from you. Mrs. So-and-so wants to take over organizing the (blank): she’s got this idea she is all exceited about. I know you’ve already put in alot of work and you like to see things through, but it would make my life so much easier if I could just get Mrs. So-and-so off my back."
I was president of my youth group in Beaumont for two years, so hopefully some of what we did may help. I’m sure you’ve probably already got them, but committees to help run events is very important. No event should rely on simply one person, because sometimes, something comes up, that person can’t make it, and if everything relys on them, it falls apart. Most groups have a standard set of council: President, VP, Secretary, Treasurere, etc., but for some organized events, you need to establish other little sub committees to help make sure supplies are bought and gathered, locations are secured, attendence is accounted for, and all that other jive. If there aren’t already committees established, bring this up to her. Help the organization take more responsibility upon itself. It gives the members a sense of pride in being part of something they’re actually a part of, and if they manage to have more fun, they’re going to want to get more people involved, and that is always a fun thing.
If you have organizational meetings with the council, try and meet with her beforehand and bring up the topic to her. Or, you could do the subversive thing, and just bring it up to the group This kinda puts her on the spot, and doesn’t really give her that much of a say on the matter. Plus, if the group says “Nah, Cindy can handle it,” it could cause some friction there.
The other thing…take over delegation of responsibilities and don’t give her that much to do. If she offers to handle something but you think she’d be incapable or unreliable, tell her “No, that’s alright, I’ve already got Steve taking care of that.” If talking with her doesn’t help, you’ve got to do it yourself, but try and be nice about it.