Hello Master Shake. Be welcome. Enjoy your stay. 
When come back, bring cats.
(Welcome!)
I LOVE this place!
Welcome to the board. No smooches from me, (for which we could both be grateful) Enjoy your visit.
Silenus: dude he has yet to rectify the standing of his guest membership to member. You were a wee bit premature on your effusive and heart warming welcome. 
Jim {Watch out for the squid, it has a bite}
Hello! I’m kind of new here too, well I used to post a very long time ago and then I went away from some reason. Can’t remember why. Must be old age catching up with me.
Shhh! You trying to give him a swelled head? Hal doesn’t know about his future dominion yet! He hasn’t gained enough power in the kingdom yet to take his place on the Ovine Throne. If he tries now there will be a wooly revolution that could destroy him! Or at least keep him very warm in the winter.
Be careful not to mistake Kytheria’s affections. She has ruined greater men that way. The last one was left wandering the New York subway tunnels gibbering to himself about space aliens come to take his cheese wheels away.
You have been warned.
Mindfield, you look a little hot today… let me help you out with that. Clothes won’t be necessary.
(Can I steal this as a sig?)
Flirting officially knocked off now, I promise…
Fair and well met and many welcomes to you too.
Remember watch out for the squids, cats, sheep, goats and apparently Sting Rays now.
Jim
Why? Do they do tricks? innocent look
It wasn’t New York, it was Toronto, and I…
…uh, never mind.
Welcome to both of youse guys…um, or gals. Or mixed bag of genderosity, whichever.
Should have come by earlier, some of us never had to deal with squids.
Uh yeah, tricks, that’s the ticket.
The first time I stuck my head in here, there was no wildlife at all. Now it’s a total menagerie!
Welcome.
Did I mention that the bringing beer is a requisite of newbies…lots of beer
Insert ‘of’ :smack:
Ah, yes, beer. That’ll be a pint of Curmudgeon’s “Old Dirigible” for you then? I’m told the kidney damage isn’t permanent and you should get your sight back in a week or two…
That’s okay, they’re painted on anyway. (What? Look, do you have any idea how creative you have to get with a brush to avoid indecent exposure charges? You have no idea how many times I’ve had to respond to questions with, “It’s a holster for my impact baton!”)
You’re welcome to it. Feel free to fix my spelling of your nick which I am apparently incapable of typing out properly. I’ve always had disagreements with the letter E…
The important thing is that you finally realized there were no space aliens, so your cheese wheels were perfectly safe.
But… but… you don’t understand! I hate cheese!
Then why are you so worried about keeping it safe?
I was trying to get rid of it!