And none of it worked, huh? At risk of further hijacking the thread I’ll only ask, have you tried the HItachi Magic Wand? Other vibrators just don’t compare.
[ol][li]Name: Robert[/li][li]Age: 23[/li][li]Occupation: Caretaker[/li][li]Marital status: Single and not looking.[/li][li]Four personality traits: Ambivalent, inquisitive, introverted, teasing[/li][li]Three favorite things: Sleeping, eating, and entertainment.[/li][li]One special talent: I’m not sure I have one.[/li][li]What two emoticons describe you best: I am generally against their use.[/li]One thing that might surprise us about you: I have a sister with severe cerebral palsy and other assorted physiological defects.[/ol]
Name: FilmGeek
Age: 25 years, 357 days.
Occupation: retail drone
Marital status: engaged
Describe your personality using four words: simulacrum, fluid, parade, network
Three favorite things: Ardred, Chipotle, animals
One special talent: I can sneer my bottom lip
Which two emoticons describe you best: 
:smack:
One thing that might surprise us about you: I’m a demon in the sack.
**Name: ** Shirley Ujest
**Age: ** Broken in, set in my ways yet open minded.
**Occupation: ** SAHM & Super Heroine.
**Marital status: ** Married. Happily so if he would only do things my way. 
2 kids and a dog.
**Describe your personality using four words: ** Sarcastic know-it-all.
**Three favorite things: ** Good Chocolate, Good Book and a good punchline.
**One special talent: ** changing the subject.
**Which two emoticons describe you best: ** :wally & :dubious:
One thing that might surprise us about you. I fart in bed.
Name: Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus.
Age: Aquarius
Occupation: Rodeo clown.
Marital status: I took a vow of polygamy.
Describe your personality using four words: I can’t count.
Three favorite things: Raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, and bright copper kettles.
One special talent: .sdrawkcab epyt nac I
Which two emotions describe you best: Hungover and satisfied.
One thing that might surprise us about you: I have a vomit-in-hair fetish.
:eek:
Name: belladonna
Age: 27
Occupation: writer, of sorts
Marital status: married on paper, single in reality
Describe your personality using four words: quirky, sarcastic, tough, attentive
Three favorite things: my boys, my books, and my scarce free-time
One special talent: My carrot cake is better than any you’ve ever had
Which two emoticons describe you best: 
One thing that might surprise us about you: I only own three pairs of panties, my period pair, my exercise pair, and my “getting some” pair. Otherwise, I’m swinging free.
O.K. I’ll be a bit more serious this time.
Name: Crafter_Man
Age: 27
Occupation: Electrical engineer.
Marital status: Married.
Describe your personality using four words: Opinionated, stubborn, and independent.
Three favorite things: Guns, freedom, and beer.
One special talent: I’m very good at soldering.
Which two emotions describe you best: Just one: happy.
One thing that might surprise us about you: I’m a militia member.
Even when you’re serious, you still can’t quite count, eh CM?
unless you’re counting “and”, in which case I feel silly.
::slinking away::
[Shaggy voice]
Zoinks! :smack:
[/Shaggy voice]
Name: Shane
Age: Just turned 28
Occupation: Health Ins Brokerage
Marital status: Single
Describe your personality using four words: sense of warped humor
Three favorite things: Music, Friends, Family
One special talent: lack of identifying self-talent
Which two emoticons describe you best: 
:rolleyes:
One thing that might surprise us about you: I’m abnormally normal
I bought this one: http://www.babeland.com/page/TIB/PROD/DG215790 because I didn’t have money for the Hitachi Magic Wand. Those suckers go for over $50 these days. I figured with this one, I had the G-spot, clit, and anus covered. It’s rated #2 on the Toys in Babeland “best sellers” list. (The Hitachi Magic Wand is #3, incidentally.) I’m still not there yet.
P.S. I disabled the link so that you have to C&P to access it. NSFW obviously. Hopefully I’m still on the mods’ good/ambivalent side…?
belladonna: This will be a totally weird question, so don’t feel obligated to answer it. If you don’t want to, I understand. But your period lasts for more than a day, right? So do you just wear the same underwear for however many days in a row? Do you wash it every night?
Name: See above
Age: 29
Occupation: Computer guy
Marital Status: Married
Describe your personality using four words: fresh off the farm
Three favorite things: Hockey, reading, programming
One special talent: recalling useless data
Which two emoticons describe you best:
One thing that might surprise us about you: Everything has always come easy for me. The SDMB is the first place I feel stretched.
You just became one of my favourite dopers.
Name: Steph
Age: 26
Occupation: Payroll
Marital status: Single
Describe your personality using four words: funny, sarcastic, geeky, silly
Three favorite things: sex, reading, sleep
One special talent: I make great desserts
Which two emoticons describe you best: Don’t use them much
One thing that might surprise us about you: My sex drive is higher than that of most men I know
Ok, I do happen to have a link where the Magic Wand goes for $39.95. That’s the best I can do, I’m afraid. I CANNOT look for it at work, but when I get home I’ll e-mail it to you.
And I’ve tried others and nothing measures up, honestly. Um…I’ll write you more in the e-mail. Starting to get a little self-conscious now. :o
Name: Lobsang
Age: 25
Occupation: Tote Supervisor
Marital status: Single
Describe your personality using four words: Addictive, Eager-to-please, Accomodating, Self-loathing
Three favorite things: Laptop, Camera, Beer.
One special talent: I can bend my thumb over the back of my hand.
Which two emoticons describe you best: :dubious: :smack:
One thing that might surprise us about you: I got nothing*
[sub]*No, silly, I don’t mean I am possetionless, I mean I can’t think of anything surprising that people don’t already know[/sub]
Lobsang, that spelling of "possessionless’ is going to make me cry. I didn’t even recognize the word at first.
Name: Zanzibar Limulus Hatstand III
Age: Stone
Occupation: Cheese polisher
Martial Status: At loggerheads with Namibia
Describe your personality using four words: Vertical, Spoon, Photosynthesis, Caribou
Three favorite things: Spoons, Caribou (twice)
One special talent: I can make gerbils sing using just the gift of song
Which two emoticons describe you best: Mr Random Gyration and The Secret Smiley Wot No One Has Ever Seen
One thing that might surprise us about you: I am made entirely of tin
Yep, I’m on a one load of laundry a night routine anyway, so it’s no extra bother for me. I’ve just found that if I have more than one designated pair, I lose track of them and end up with none. As I’m typing this I’m realizing how bizarre it sounds. But it’s true. I’m a grown woman and I can’t keep track of my panties.