I realise I’m way too much of a newbie to be posting a “my life is shit” thread in the Pit, but right now I have to get this out of my system.
Firstly, my mum’s a clinical depressive. She’s been diagnosed with endogenous (sp?) depression, which as far as I can figure out means there’s actually something chemically wrong and it’s not all in my head. My youngest sister, SmileyBrat, is a 9-year-old ADHD kid (unmedicated, last thing we want is a zombie kid), which makes her a bit of a handful. My other sister, SunnyBrat (15), is also a little on the irrational and emotionally unstable side (she thinks that life’s problems can be solved by throwing trashcans at people), but has never been diagnosed with anything… mainly 'cause she’d never go to a psych willingly. And as for me, I’m probably a nicely fucked-up li’l guy myself, at least if the gene pool’s any indication.
Anywho… mother dearest has had a few problems over the last few years, one year she had a gambling problem and lost the money she had saved up for Christmas. Lately though, the only thing that seems to have been a problem for her is alcohol. Now, this isn’t a new thing, but recently she came into a fair bit of money from a deceased aunt. We’re a fairly poor family in the outer western suburbs of lovely Sydney, Australia, which as any Sydneyite can tell you isn’t a very nice place to live. What I’m trying to say is that generally mum drinks to excess, but because of her somewhat limited income (limited to what the government will pay her for two children under 18) she can’t afford to do it often. However, as I’ve said she inherited a few K off a relative a month or two ago… and since then, I don’t think she’s been sober for three straight days. Looking back over what I’ve written, I’ve focused on the wrong stuff, but I need to get this written or I’ll never get it out. Mum’s drinking problems, combined with her depression, make for a very turbulent and unstable household. Since this has been protracted this time, it’s had a worse effect than usual. SmileyBrat basically never gets attention except when she’s yelled at, I get blamed for every damn problem in the household, and SunnyBrat - the only one who has some kind of working relationship with mum - is getting sent to the school counsellor with frightening regularity.
I know I’m just dumping on you guys, but I seriously get lost when dealing with big things like this. I know I’ve only painted half the picture, but I’m a uni student with finals coming up in a few weeks and I’m having enough trouble dealing with shit at home without those as well. I’m getting behind in uni work and the fact that I don’t want to be home doesn’t make it easy for me to catch up.
Anyway, what I need to know is, where would other people put their priorities? The way I see it, the problems break down to:
- my schoolwork
- the welfare of my sisters
- getting some kind of help for my mum
- my own welfare
My question is, what order should I be putting these in? Mum’s really getting to the stage where I’m worried she might hurt herself (unintentionally), but my sisters are getting a fucked-up view of what’s normal in their formative years between living in this neighbourhood and being in this family, but trying to deal with the other shit drains me and takes time that desperately needs to be put into uni. I know I’m being selfish here but I can’t deal with all of this by myself. I know everyone at uni has their own families, with their own problems, and there’s people going through much worse… I’m not smart enough or strong enough to.
DJ - sorry for the self-indulgent, self-pitying whining.