This past week, hell, month has been hard for The Kid.
We’ve just passed the one year mark of her grandpa’s death. She’s still reeling from her other grandfather’s death this past fall (a grandfather she hadn’t met until a week before he died). Her father has had not contact with her since early December, when it was found out that his girlfriend (who is only 9 years our daughters senior) is pregnant - and due this month. January has sucked for her so far.
This past Monday The Kid received a call from her best friend - “My mom and I were in an accident, we’re at the hospital”. We were up there as soon as possible, her Dad allowed us to go into her room which I was amazed by - BF was bumped and scratched up, but released from the ER while we were there. Her mom was in Intensive Care.
The Kid went to school Tuesday, but it was difficult as news spread. I picked her up halfway through the day as she was completely torn up. Teens (ugh, TEENS) were playing the “I know (BF) better than you do, so I’m more concerned!” game. Some kids left school to go to the hospital and sit with BF, which BF and family did not want. We came home, and she simply texted BF, stating “I love you and I’m here for whatever you need”.
Tuesday night her mom died. The Kid called her and told her simply “I love you and I’m here for whatever you need”. The Kid was kind of jealous that BF was over at another persons house and was entertaining a stream of visitors. However, some were visitors, some were gawkers, The Kid stated. She remembered what it was like when Gramps died - some “friends” were excited to experience death vicariously, not actually support the mourner. We talked about friendship - she stated she is a “Heart” friend. “I don’t have to physically be in her face, she knows I love her, Mom”.
Along with The Kid and BF there is another girl who reounded the Three Stooges. Moe (heh) is a doer. She is NOT content to sit around and wait. She organized a dinner posse, and when The Kid declined to join, an argument ensued. She told Moe strongly that what they needed to do was offer assistance, not force it. That she understood that made me smile.
Texts between The Kid and BF have been crossing the lines all hours of the day and night. They’ve been talking about boys, music, school- normal stuff. The Kid will not bring up BF’s mom unless BF initiates it. She understands that BF needs a break from what happened - some semblance of normalcy in such a hellish situation.
They’ve been on the phone actually talking for over an hour and a half now - highly unusual for them. The Kid talked to BF’s little sister, the usual toddler talk. She and BF are catching up on everything - who stopped by / who is a pain / how mean I am because I can’t afford Jonas Brothers tickets / what’s next. The Kid cannot know the trauma BF has gone through. She doesn’t presume to know, and has said that to BF. She is supporting her friend in a way that I think is beautiful.
I am SO proud of my daughter. We have our ups and downs, as all mom/daughters do, but to see her be so compassionate in such a way that many teenagers don’t grasp - I’m lucky to have her for My Kid.