I dont think she wants to hear a reasonable, obvious response like this…
“You aint gonna learn what you dont want to know”
Do you really believe this, or do you just feel like this is the case due to recent rejection? I ask because I find this to be an overstatement so big that it overshadows he grain of truth you’re trying to convey.
I and plenty of other women have only gotten better with time.
You do have the ability to define beauty for yourself. Margaret Cho said something once about that. She said she was amazed once she realized the term “beautiful” could be something you can decide for yourself. It doesn’t have to be dependent on other people.
Yeah, she’s a comedian. But I find her attitude toward beauty and self-definition to be very empowering.
I think this is the smartest thing said in this thread;
"I dont think she wants to hear a reasonable, obvious response like this…
“You aint gonna learn what you dont want to know”
Bang on!
When I was young I also believed that men stay good looking for many decades. But now that I’m over forty I’ve noticed that, no, most of them do not. Very few of them do. They are movie stars. The rest get pudgy and ruddy and bald and various other things not generally considered attractive, especially by hot young women.
Did you stop plucking your eyebrows yet?
Frankly, coming from 30-yr-old me, there’s nothing sexier on a woman than some well-earned laugh lines, a bit of extra padding here and there, and a smile that says she’s been there, done that, and if you want she’ll be your tour guide. There’s something beautiful (in the universal sense, not the physical aesthetic sense) about most people if they’d figure out how to run with it.
Say what?
I think “attractive” and “desirable” must mean something different in your world. I was very pretty when I was a college freshman, and I suppose I’m still pretty. But I’ve added 20 years and at least 60 lbs. But guys seem more attracted to me now than they did then.
Maybe it’s because I’m more confident. Maybe it’s because it never occurred to me until now that my “beauty” was inexorably slipping away by the day. Maybe it’s because real men, normal men, don’t subscribe to the same standards of beauty as the fashion industry.
While I do understand the point the OP was making, part of me thinks that somewhere all the Gods that be are saying, “Hmmm we gave this person the gift of personal beauty and yet she does not appreciate the advantages it brings her. Perhaps a life lesson is in order…” (Disfiguring accident?)
Maybe it’s just my superstitious side coming out.
Helen Fielding of Bridget Jones fame wrote in her previous novel Cause Celeb (I paraphrase) that women spend their 20s wishing they were taken more seriously in the workplace instead of being viewed as sex objects, and when they get to their late 30s they realise that they miss being viewed as sex objects.
Most men really like to hang out with regular women. Yes they gawk at the glam chicks but they also roll their eyes after they walk by at how fake they are.
But I do know what you mean about being tired of the comments. Yesterday at work one of the men mentioned that someone stopped by and he had to throw in that she was hot. The funny thing is, I wouldn’t even consider her as being attractive and he’s not really someone I would want to be associated with in my social life.
So, it takes way less work than you’re imagining to be hot and the people who go on and on about physical beauty only are boring.
Neither do real women.
Sounds like the OP has been drinking the Flavor-Aid big time. Which is unfortunate because if she keeps it up, she’ll be looking like those leathery 40-something harpies on The Real Housewives of Orange County.
Nah, I spent my 20s having a hard time getting taken seriously. I don’t miss being viewed as a sex object at all.
Now, I still pluck my eyebrows (which are Brooke Shields like in their bushiness), wear makeup fairly often, sometimes dye the grey out of my hair (though right now its natural), wear clothes that are attractive on me - rather than roll out of bed and out of the shower and stuff myself into comfy sweatpants and a sweatshirt and go to work. And I’m still good looking for my age and still sexy enough for my husband (who is really the only man I care about thinking me sexy). But I don’t miss men having conversations with my chest. I don’t miss getting hired primarily for my looks - or not getting hired because of them. I don’t miss guys standing over my desk while I work trying to get a peek down my blouse, or kicking their network jack and saying “my computer doesn’t work, can you take a look” so they can watch me crawl under their desk (I spent my twenties as a network admin). I don’t miss wearing glasses I didn’t need (do now!) when I went into meetings - or a wedding ring when I was unmarried to keep guys from hitting on me (now I’m married and don’t bother to wear the ring). I don’t miss not getting taken seriously.
I thank God that at least I was a brunette, rather than having to cope with being blonde or a redhead.
When I was young and, I thought, attractive, I asked the man I was desperately in love with if he thought I was pretty. He looked at me hard for a minute and said, no, not really.
But. He went on to say it wasn’t until he got to know me for a while, my personality, what I was like - and it was then that he fell in love with me! 
I hate hearing ‘she’s HOT she’s HOT’ - what does that mean, anyway? It makes women into ‘things’, and it ensures if they buy into ‘I’ve gotta be HOT’ they’re just going to be ‘things’ to jackass frat boy types. And they’re going to wear themselves out plucking, dyeing, spackling, girdling, toning, tanning, worrying for a few years until they reach that age where you think ‘wow, that over-the-hill broad is still out there trying!’.
It’s personality, it’s bonding, it’s LOVE - not some twenty year old’s idea of beauty - that will bring happiness. Looks fade. Character doesn’t. Remember the kitchen plaque that says “Kissing Don’t Last, Cooking Do!”.
Well of course Margaret Cho is going to say she can define beauty for herself, she’s ugly! 
Margaret Cho is about as right on that subject as you’d expect a stand-up comedian to be. Some forms of beauty are completely objective; I would agree with her a lot more if she said you can define what your perception of beauty is for yourself.
Either you’re being sarcastic or you and I don’t live at all in the same world.
Why? For a lot of people “beauty” is much, much more than the external façade and true beauty goes far beyond skin deep.
? That’s exactly what she’s saying (said). That’s how I’m reading it, anyway.
Well,I think she’s beautiful. So here we are, proving her point exactly. 
Seriously, when my closest friend can tell me off hand that she thinks Uma Fucking Thurman is funny looking, you know beauty is totally subjective.
Hmm I dunno, do you live on Earth?