And don’t tell me about all the fucking joys of breaking your kneecaps on skis and all the other wonderful fucking things to do in winter.
Winter, thanks for killing the bugs, especially Africanized bees, and I mean that oh so very sincerely, but NOBODY LIKES YOU anymore. You’re annoying, you never go away, you don’t take a hint, and have you noticed that nobody invites you anywhere? Sorry to break it to you like this, but I’m in love with Spring, you are yesterday’s news, so pack up your dirty laundry, your fucking white carpets, and MOVE OUT!
I’ll second this 100%. I detest winter - cold, illness, darkness, damp and depression topped off with a twee sprinkling of fairy-lights and glitter in December.
Think of this as winter’s last gasp - its pissed off because it knows the end is nigh, its trying to show us its still got a few miseries up its sleeve. It’s March tomorrow. Just over 3 weeks until the clocks go forward (not sure about America, though) it’ll soon be light at 8pm…
PS (mini-hijack) - looking back over my life so far, I have no significant memories that take place in winter. Is this because nothing interesting happens in winter, or I blank it out?
Ahh you bunch of babies! I love Winter, no West Nile Virus Scares. The air feels cleaner, The trash near the highways is hidden, Snow Men Tobboganning, and touques sitting before a war fire. What more could you want except another four weeks of the stuff?
Me I hate the summer. Humidity heat, Bugs Smog, the stink of rotting garbage cooking in the sun, and the worst is having a cold in the summer.
I hated the winter in the midwest for 25 miserable years. So what did I do? Moved to Florida. Contrary to popular belief there is no law saying you have to be retired to move there.
The state had it’s perks; always something to do, no state income tax, cheap homes. But some of it sucked; June-October averages 92 degrees per day.
Lived there as a bachelor for 7 years. Got married and ended up moving back to the Midwest to start a family (retired people don’t see the need to put money into Florida schools.)
Are you nuts? 12 feet of snow buried the cabin to the rooftops in December and I haven’t seen the sun for 10 weeks. My roommate, Sam, has been singing “California Dreamin’” for three weeks straight, mutters to himself, and flings his Swiss Army knife into the wall. I swear I catch him looking at me with that crazed look of a starving animal tied to a post by a chain. The power went out in January and I’m running out of hamster food. The beer was gone by New Year’s and there’s no toilet paper either. And you tell me to RELAX? RELAX??? HAHAHA!! Come here and tell that to Sam, city boy.
I like winter, but the hardware stores around here are really twisting the knife. Walk in and you see seed displays, garden implements, barbeque grills, and lawn furniture everywhere. Meanwhile it’s 25 degrees out and snow’s in the forecast.
It’s… shockingly… nice here right now. I mean usually it’s still freezing and stuff but the snow is starting to melt a little (even as more falls actually) and it’s not too too cold.
But I’m still sick of winter. I want Spring. With rainstorms and growing stuff.
**Finagle : I like winter, but the hardware stores around here are really twisting the knife. ** Speaking of which, Sam had a small accident with his knife. He must have fallen on it. The wall that he threw the knife into splintered pretty nicely and I’ve got old Sam roasting on a spit in the fireplace. Praise da Lord, I was starting to turn into a can of tunafish.
**Obsidian Flutterby: it’s still freezing and stuff but the snow is starting to melt ** It’s freezing AND it’s melting? You CAN’T freeze and melt at the same time! Don’t fuck with my head or I’ll hunt you down like a rat in a car trunk…around June when the GD snow melts.
racinchikki: It’s not fair! It’s not fair. Nit’s not fairrr. Wah wah wah. Nah nya nya. See these two fingers. Smallest fuckin’ violin in human history. The Hoover Dam burst and that’s what I’m crying for you, ya wimp. I’m having burgers with Sam in about 30 minutes. Come on over and I’ll turn you into mint jelly you communist.
** pantom: Boy, you do live Out of Bounds, don’t you? ** Exsqueege me, but this comes from somebody who lives in New Jersey?!? YOU LIVE IN NEW JERSEY. hahahaha. I’d come over and take a DNA sample but I’d rather be dead than caught in NJ. Livin’ the wild life, are ya?
According to my mother, who pays way too much attention to the Weather Network, one day last week our city was, with wind chill factored in, the coldest place on the planet. That’s the entire freakin’ reported planet, including the south pole.
Frantic: Freezing as in freezing my nipples off cold, and melting as in the snow on the roads at least was slush and puddles.
Welcome to the conundrum that is Canada.
Oh and don’t forget the Calgary chinooks. Where the temperature is above zero, all the snow melts and it’s all water. And yet you are bundled to the gills just to avoid the windchill.
