Good idea! 
Build a better mouse.
It’s a long story. Suffice it to say, I made ALL the first moves in this relationship. - Good thing he’s not easily intimidated… 
And if you’re really lucky, her unmarried daughter will be with her.
Manda Jo you are my new self help guru. Wow!
YES - props must go to Manda JO - she has lo been the voice of relationship reason on these here boards for quite some time. I am a lurker-cum-newbie, but she is right.
You have to be comfortable with yourself ( in many permutations) to be able to relate to the object of your affections - even in general.
If your are not comfortable being by yourself, you will never be any good to anyone else. Seeking that “other half” to complete you is an exercise in futility. Never try to seek to complete yourself with someone else. That only ends in heartache.
I should know - I’m on the fronlines myself.
Everyone, everywhere, should always do what Manda JO advises.
Manda JO, what should I do? Just out of curiosity, since I know that whatever you say, you’ll be right?
(Translation: I love reading your posts, please create more of them.m Often.)
That extra “m” added in there is for effect. Y’all may not be up on current theory of aesthetic orthography, but that “m” actually makes my post more aesthetically perfect. Of course, those who don’t follow trends in orthography can’t be expected to recognize it, so just trust me. The “m” makes me WAY cool.
MandaJo is the smartest person in the whole world (barring Cecil), and everyone should listen to her. I mean it. She gives great advice, and she won’t steer you wrong. Thing is, though, she’s so damn nice and polite and good-hearted. She’s like the Anti-Pit.
I have a few questions, though, and maybe you, Blalron, can answer them:
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Popularity: What the fuck does this even mean?
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Touching people: Who the fuck freaks out with the need to touch people? This is possibly the creepiest thing I have ever read on this message board. The only people I have ever encountered who have this need are those weird guys on public transportation who accidentally-on-purpose grab my ass. These guys get a swift kick in the shins with my steel-toed boots and my undying hatred and revulsion. Are you one of these guys? Do you want to be? I am so freaked out right now with the thought that there are people in this world running loose with the weird and unassaugeable compulsion to touch people. My God, did no parent, guardian, or pre-school teacher ever tell you that it is not okay to touch people without their express permission? That people who touch other people without permission are weird and scary and to be avoided at all costs? Jesus, man, CONTROL YOURSELF!
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Looks vs. Personality vs. Weight: Again, what the fuck is this? Some sort of bizarre attractiveness equation? Looks = Weight divided by Personality? How do you measure Personality? Is there a mathematical constant which represents Personality? This is not in keeping with established scientific precepts!!! I strongly disapprove!!!
The advice given in this thread has been priceless, and I suggest that you follow it, lest you become of of those creepy ass-grabbers which are the bane of all women on public transportation. I believe the word is frotteur. This is an ugly word, fraught with abyssmal depths of meaning, and not one which you would ever want applied to you.
May I also suggest you grow the fuck up? Impressing the other D&D players with the size of your girlfriend’s boobs is a sad little victory, and bound to come back and bite you in the ass. (Meaning, of course, no disrespect to well-behaved, non-frotting D&D players.)
If all women did this instead of the subtle hints they think they’re putting out, and they weren’t playing this bizarre game, then guys would finally begin to understand women a bit better.
As it stands, we’re clueless and lonely.
I think females have been raised to be passive agressive. (dress slutty, act prudish) (talk dirty but act prudish) (be touchy feely flirting then act prudish) just examples of course. SO, yeah… i understand what you are saying.
a large order of assertiveness and a some brutal honesty on the side…make it to go.
Blalron, you write with such desperatoin and pain.
Now… take a moment and consider how the overweight, unpopular girl is feeling RIGHT NOW.
not saying you SHOULD have dated her. i’m just saying you seem a lil self absorbed. LOTS of people feel your desire, rejection, and need.
try compassion on for size. see what you think.
Oh good. Another “females are always playing mind games and sending out mixed signals” complaint. How original.
I suppose next you’ll be asking why women never go out with nice guys, right?
<yawn> Somebody wake me up when they get a clue.
:rolleyes:
If you are really at your wits end, call an escort service. They will provide you with a girl who is weight/height appropriate. Maybe the simple act of getting laid will make it easier for you to approach the opposite sex without a hard on. Just a thought.
More likely this approach will gratify you briefly, then fill you with self-loathing, and skew terribly your view of women and relationships. I’d recommend against it.
Wow–I like this thread. See what I mean, Blalron, people like to be complimented and to return to people/places where they are complimented!
Ratty, thanks for your kind words and I agree with most of what you say, but I have to disagree with about this:
When I was a young, angsty teenager there was a period when I has no one to touch me–it’s a long story, but we had moved to a new state and my parents were both obsessivly busy and what spare time they had was eaten up by a sibling who had much greater needs than I. Weeks went by when no one touched me: no one hugged me, no one shook my hand, no one brushed out my hair, no one ever handed me anything and our fingers touched breifly. And it was hell. I was miserable. I ached for affection–not sex, just affection. My friends in my old state (and my family most of the time)had all been extremely affectionate–hugs, neck rubs, casual hand-squeezes–and not having any of that made me feel more lonely, more outcast, more miserable than anything else. We are social animals, and for some people at least a certain minimum amount of physical contact is important.
What is important to understand about that is that it isn’t a romantic or a sexual thing. I think that the media too often portrays romantic relationships as the only “real” relationships–friends are just there to fill in the gaps until you meet “the one”, and they have a product to make it easier to meet “the one”–that people get the need for touching confused with the need for sex. This is why having good friends can help people stay out of bad relationships–if there is a good friend or family memeber who gives you hugs and shoulder-squeezes and back-slaps, then you aren’t so desperate to get these things from somewhere else.
None of this, of course, excuses grabbing someone’s ass on the subway. But feeling as if you need some sort of physical contact dose’t make you the sort of person who would grab a stranger’s ass. At least, I hope not.
ok,OK you can touch the bum for a sec,but thats IT !!
But seriously, I think most people go through this hence all the drippy heartbreak songs…
Thanks, MandaJo, for that last post. That is what I feel many times in this place. Away from most of my friends and relatives, and aching for some sort of human touch. Good thing I have some friends here that give me hugs and greetings so that I am not always with the aching. Of course, I would only hug or kiss those that would let me do so, never without someone’s consent.
Well, I’m hoping she wouldn’t already be married.
Oh baloney. Women act how they act.
<smugly congratulates self on being homosexual and not having to wander through the morass of male-female relations>