I'm so sick of my friend

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My friend is annoying me to the highest regards, he’s arrogant pig headed, ignorant and is an asshole about everything (I say or do), to top it all off he embarrasses me when around other people I don’t know and he does, in a lame attempt to be funny in front of his peers, urgh…
Now, this never really use to happen, because if it did, I would have not bothered ever or at all. It just seems, ok for example would you say to a group of people you know, but your best friend doesn’t?

‘oh did you know his little brother knows everything about guns?’

or

‘ask him anything about world war two’ I wouldn’t find anything wrong in someone saying this, but when you’re in a bar and there are girls or people around you want to give a good impression then yeah I was pissed off by that.

Or when someone asks what my name is he buts in and says ‘oh Adolf’ Another example, his mum owns a bar, and he works there and I usually go there and chat to him and play pool. Now when he works and I go round and he’s very busy I don’t mind him usually ignoring me, but when he phones me and asks for me to come round and ignores me for around 4-5 hours (I walked to his place!!! And he still did it) while he chats to other people, its very awkward for me, cause he’d like ask me to talk to him and sit and talk to him bitchin’ on about anything thats bothering him, then walk off and talk to someone else? It isn’t a very nice situation to be in.

I’m gonna go on and on, haha, but this has been like a volcano waiting to erupt for bleeding ages, anyway, its just all the little things that I’ve noticed, like hes more disregarding of anyone elses feelings, I feel like a doormat, he always whinging when he doesn’t get to do his own things, and his own way…he’s spoiled. The worst thing is he’s my only way of having a social life now, and I’m afraid I’ve put all my eggs into one basket, I know I can do so much better than him…I’m just sick of it, all of it. Money is a big problem too, I don’t wanna be at his place all the time, and I wanna experience new things and new people.
has anyone else experienced this? I want advice and knowledge of you’r experiences in handling these sort of situations.
Many thanks

Ryan_Liam

2

You could:

A) Have a heart-to-heart with him. Tell him exactly what is bothering you, and ask him to stop it.

B) Avoid being around this person. Don’t go to his mum’s bar.

C) Terminate your relationship with him. (WILLARD: “Terminate?” CIA GUY: “Terminate… with extreme prejudice.”) :smiley:

3

anymore advice? Jeez (sorry I’m kinda in desperate need of LOTS of advice)

4

Tell the wanker to sod off.

No, really, this guy sounds like a world-class jackass and no true friend. Hell, he doesn’t even sound like a pleasant acquaintance, and it sounds as though he treats you abominably. So why do you keep doing this to yourself?

5

So what’s wrong with my last? (Well, “C” might be a little extreme. Maybe.)

A) Have a heart-to-heart. Let him know that most women do not appear to be interested in firearms and WWII history, so he’s not helping you. This will do one of two things. If he’s your friend, then he will understand and make an effort not to embarrass you. If he’s not really your friend, or he’s a complete jerk, he’ll increase his behaviour. If he does that, then you don’t need him as a friend.

B) Avoid him. My first friend when we got back from Japan when I was four years old was Bob; or “BeelzeBob”, as I now call him. A little history: Bob lived with his grandparents, uncle and mother in the house down the street. I call people “bastard” in a friendly way, but a few years ago I found out that he really was born out of wedlock. I’ve stopped calling him “bastard”. Anyway, this might explain some things about his personality.

Bob always had to have the best of things. He got to use the red crayon, and I’d have to use another. He had the coolest toys. He never told a lie; he was only “mistaken”. The fact is, he was spoiled. I think that his mother and grandparents gave him what he wanted because “the poor dear doesn’t have a father”.

We lost track of each other over the years, but still managed to exchange the occasional phone call or Christmas card. Bob said he was doing quite well. He was “producing” a show. He was “starring” in a soap opera. He was making a ton of money selling satelite dishes in Oklahoma where he moved with his grandparents (after his “acting” and “producing” failed and he moved back in with them. It seemed though, that he couldn’t “get a break”. Every grand plan he came up with caume to nought.

I was looking through Drama-Logue and found a guy who wanted to make a low-budget horror movie. I hooked bob up with the guy. Soon this low-budget movie evolved into a million-dollar plan. I was called in on the project and discovered it was absolute crap. The guy didn’t know squat about making a film, and his ideas were ludicrous. Bob had all of these delusions of grandure and talked and talked about putting the thing together. But it was laughable. Unfortunately I did not discover the absolute rediculousness of the plan until after I allowed Bob to move in for “a couple of months – just long enough to make the film”.

A couple of months turned into a full year. I would come home from a long day at the office to find Bob lounging by the pool reading, or playing on the computer with '80s new wave playing full blast. He supposedly had a job, but he never seemed to be at it. When he did work, he wouldn’t get paid because owner was “screwing him over”. He wouldn’t pay his rent, his phone bill, his share of the utilities – nothing. Just promises. I finally invited him to leave. His grandfather was kind enough to repay this 30-something’s debt to me. Incidentally, I found out that one of his pasttimes was sleazing around with a disreputable neighbour and begging beer money from other tennants. Whenever he did find a job of one kind or another, he’d go on a drunk and disappear for a couple of days. So much for the job!

Bob was also a braggart and a liar. When I mentioned this to his grandmother once, she said, “Well, Bob’s always been a bit of a fibber.” A “fibber”. Not a liar; a “fibber”. :rolleyes: He was arrogant and pretentious. He’s embarrassing to be around. One girl he was trying to impress pulled me aside and said, “You’re friend’s a real piece of work, isn’t he?”

So now I avoid him. He’s been my friend longer than anyone, but I just don’t like to be around him.

And there’s answer B.

I know how that goes. But I’d rather be alone than put up with someone who bugs the crap out of me.

6

Johnny L.A. pretty much covered your options. I’ll add that what you should not do is let things continue the way the are, with anger and resentment building up. As Ann Landers is so fond of saying, “Are you better off with this person are without him?” If the friendship has benefits for you, then talk to your friend about the things that bother you. At least you’ll learn whether or not he gives a damn. Even if he’s concerned that you’re upset, he is not going to change overnight into a perfect friend. Everyone has flaws and annoying traits, and you have to decide how much you’re willing to put up with.

Some of us seem to attract disfunctional friends. It took a lot of maturing on my part to learn that I was better off without “friends” who used, manipulated, or took advantage of me. You’ll feel better about yourself when you learn to say, “I won’t put up with this because I deserve better.”

7

Of course, he may be the reason you don’t have other friends/acquaintances - I know being around someone like that would put me off wanting to know any of their friends better…?!

8

A friend is someone you enjoy being with.

Time for a new label for this chap of yours.

9

tell him to kiss off. he deserves it.

10

This would take a little panache to pull off successfully, but how about turning these types of things around on him?

HIM: Ask him anything about WWII!
YOU: What are you talking about?

HIM: His little brother knows everything about guns!
YOU: Um, no, he doesn’t. Are you on crack?

Etc. Pretend (to the others, anyway) that he must be thinking of someone else. If he’s doing these things deliberately to embarrass you, or as my mom would say, “get your goat,” make him look foolish in return. He certainly deserves it.