I'm sorry. I'm not leaving. Not temporarily, permanently or any other "ly."

As the “mass” exodus of posters stampede from the boards (the latest being Crunchy and 'nilla), I find I must unequivocally state that I am not leaving the boards.

I know this question has been crushing your collective psyche (as has the question of who is leaving), so I post it here to alleviate the depth of your quandry. This is not a lame attempt to draw attention to myself, rather I’m just clearing the air when I state, I am not leaving the boards.

I don’t have a new job.
I don’t have a new girlfriend.
I can handle the stuff that happens here.
I can afford my internet commection.
My dog has not died.
My kid isn’t sick.
I don’t need a break.
I’m not moving.
I didn’t commit suicide.
I don’t hate the mods.
No electronic chip has been planted in my brain.
I don’t feel as though I’ve outgrown the boards.
I don’t feel as though the boards have outgrown me.
I’ve not had an unrequited board love (Though I’m still owed a sloppy blow job and a night of hot monkey sex by a couple of our female compatriots here. Hell, that alone is reason enough to stick around!)
I don’t hate Little Ed.
The mods are actualy cool
The caliber of threads and posts hasn’t offended my delicate sensibilities.
I’m still owed a BJ and sex (That needed to be said again.).
My connection hasn’t slowed.
And so on.
Ad infinitum.

I just wanted you to know.

I won’t say goodbye to all my favorite posters, 'cause I won’t be leaving.
I won’t bid a fond farewell to all the posters who helped me over the tough times, 'cause I won’t be leaving.
I won’t apologise for offending anyone, 'cause I will, of course, be offending you again in the near future.

I will be checking this thread again, so you can now get some satisfaction from posting your farewells (even though I’m not leaving) and being assured that I will read them.

So there, ya bastards.

I won’t go on and on about how you are my favorite poster here and how I’ll miss you too much.

I wont protest with all my typing abilities and insist that you occasionally post and send me an email now and again.

I wont go on about the good, no great, discussions we’ve had.

I wont drudge up old threads when you made me laugh and cry and “oh, Weren’t we a couplea crazy kids back then.”

I wont promise to sent you a note with my address so we can keep in touch.

sigh Since you are sticking around, and so am I there is no need to fawn over you like a prodigal poster.

Plus, if there are obligations of sex and sexual acts, hell yeah, gotta settle up before leaving.

Oh, that’s good.

I was afraid you were talking about “President” Bush’s new plans to upgrade military technology.

Since some of his Science People are calling our aircraft carriers “dinosaurs” I was worried that you were going to be reassigned to a small (four by six foot) iron satellite, endlessly revolving around the Earth, keeping an eye on Third World uprisings with your finger on the trigger of your Laser Death Projector.

And that you were really cheesed about it, and planned to stand on the burning deck whence all but you had fled.

Don’t let him fool you!!! He’s really a sweetheart…Running fast out the door… SLAM!

This is really good news, I was afraid to hear that resident Board seaman was going to be shooting off somewhere or another. That could have lead to some hard feelings and a sticky situation or two. Don’t blow your remaining days pining for what might have been, hang tough, shoot straight and don’t bend to anyones demands for farewells.

Good to know you’re sticking around,


think…you are so bad!

No electronic chip has been planted in my brain.

…to the best of your knowledge! Our operatives are experts in their field. ::wringing hands in evil glee::

This really needed to be said. Thanks, Chief.


Sorry, Scott, I just couldn’t resist.

When you do leave, will you bequeath all the sexual favours you’re owed to me?

Bye,Chiefy. Sorry to hear you’re leaving. I’m sure gonna miss ya.
[beavis] he-hehehe-he, thinksnow said “seamen”. [/beavis]

While you’re gone, I’ll work on my vB syntax :):):slight_smile:

Finally, some good news!

Without Chief, who else will maintain a nuclear deterrent for excessive smilie usage?

Refreshing post there guy.

Okay, since you aren’t leaving the boards, you can confirm one item for us. Is true that you have a large smilie face tattooed on each butt cheek?

Sources from nearby Dam Neck have reported this. If so, do you intend on placing photos on the tattoo page?

If I do get “paid off,” I’ll still not leave the boards.

So racerx, if you’re willing to pay off another hot chick’s debt…

Hello GBS!! Long time, no post!!

RTFirefly (he deserves no bolding), resist this ::single digit extended vertically::

That’s the funniest line I’ve seen here in weeks. Thanks ChiefScott. :slight_smile:

Okay, I’m staying NOW.
Its ALL becasue of YOU Cheif!


:smiley: @ Vanilla

But now I am worried about a mass exodus of posters because the **Chief** is staying. ;)
[sub](just kidding Chief! - don't nuke me!)[/sub]

No, Chief, don’t say it. Come on, you just can’t stay. It’s always the best posters that stay around, not leaving in a huff.

Is there anything I can say that will make you reconsider? I know that a lot of other posters feel the way I do, though they may not log on asking you to stop posting.

Where will it leave us if we continue to hear your voice on matters naval? How will we go on if we keep seeing your smilie-free flirting? What are you trying to do to us?

If you really have to stay, can you try to make it for only a short time. I understand that you may have personal reasons why you may want to remain on the boards, and I respect that. But for the benefit of the rest of us, the shorter the time you stay around, the better.

In any event, Chief, wherever your journeys take you, I wish you the best.

[sub]Now I did read the OP right, didn’t I???[/sub]

Oh my good friend, I always have my eye’s on you…

You’re not leaving?!

Damn! Now I am offended!

Well, on the other hand, it’s good to have you around to bash every once in awhile, especially when we’re talking about navel semen; but only when you’re pounding your little swabbie while horizontal.

Oh well.