As the “mass” exodus of posters stampede from the boards (the latest being Crunchy and 'nilla), I find I must unequivocally state that I am not leaving the boards.
I know this question has been crushing your collective psyche (as has the question of who is leaving), so I post it here to alleviate the depth of your quandry. This is not a lame attempt to draw attention to myself, rather I’m just clearing the air when I state, I am not leaving the boards.
I don’t have a new job.
I don’t have a new girlfriend.
I can handle the stuff that happens here.
I can afford my internet commection.
My dog has not died.
My kid isn’t sick.
I don’t need a break.
I’m not moving.
I didn’t commit suicide.
I don’t hate the mods.
No electronic chip has been planted in my brain.
I don’t feel as though I’ve outgrown the boards.
I don’t feel as though the boards have outgrown me.
I’ve not had an unrequited board love (Though I’m still owed a sloppy blow job and a night of hot monkey sex by a couple of our female compatriots here. Hell, that alone is reason enough to stick around!)
I don’t hate Little Ed.
The mods are actualy cool
The caliber of threads and posts hasn’t offended my delicate sensibilities.
I’m still owed a BJ and sex (That needed to be said again.).
My connection hasn’t slowed.
And so on.
I just wanted you to know.
I won’t say goodbye to all my favorite posters, 'cause I won’t be leaving.
I won’t bid a fond farewell to all the posters who helped me over the tough times, 'cause I won’t be leaving.
I won’t apologise for offending anyone, 'cause I will, of course, be offending you again in the near future.
I will be checking this thread again, so you can now get some satisfaction from posting your farewells (even though I’m not leaving) and being assured that I will read them.
So there, ya bastards.