I’m sick of the way things are. I’m starting a new country called Asgard.
I, of course, will be King.
Since I want only the best subjects, I’m coming to the SDMB for my subjects.
Tell me what role you want in the new country and I may possibly grant your request.
So who wants to be Secretary of War, Secretary of Education, Secretary of Little Blue Crunch Things, etc.?
I tried this before, years ago on the SDMB. I raised an army against those sophomoric plebes that call themselves “pop stars”.
Thus, I nominate myself for Secretary of War.
Tripler
Don’t say “peace” in my presence. Peace puts us out of business.
May I be Secretary of Evil Toasted Grapefruit And Splintered Carrots?
I got dibs on Court Jester. That or Guy In Charge of Flogging Stupid Drivers. Either one as long as the check is signed.
Can I be Secretary of State? That would so rule.
Oh, I thought of a better one. I want to be in charge of pot, booze and tobacco. My platform is that all three will not only be legal, but untaxed and heavily subsidized. (Thought I was a rightwinger fundie, huh?) 
I’d also nominate (someone second this!) pkbites to oversee any and all firearms issues. Assuming his platform will be a gun in every home and a tank in every driveway. 
I hearby nominate myself to Secretary of Sitting Around Drinking Beer, Playing PS2, and Watching Football.
How I missed that post I’ll never know. Can I be deputy? We’ll distinguish our duties by me playing XBox.
Is there a job opening for an Inspector of the Imperial Harem? I could do that.
I’ll apply for the job of The Crazy Conspiracy Theory Guy, unless, you know, you’re actually one of THEM!…
or maybe i’ll be the Digital Information Administrator (first act, declare nuclear war on micro$oft)
Transportation Department Chief (outlaw automatic transmissions)
aw heck, i’ll just apply for the position of Vice-Odin…
**Odinoneeye ** - you should have a chat with HRH Prince Leonard of the Hutt River Province. He claims to have seceded from the Commonwealth of Australia in 1970.
oooooh…I think I would make a good Minister For Pointing Out Things That Only Seem Obvious After They’ve Been Pointed Out.
Really! When my friends ask me for advice I usually, with just a few questions, lead them to a realization that the answer was right in front of them the whole time. I’ve been nicknamed “Obvious Man” by three people independently of one another. (And not in a derogatory way, either.)
Before you discount the necessity of such a position, just think how differently history would have gone if even a few “great” leaders had had such personnel. As in, “Does the word ‘tarbaby’ mean anything to ya, Dubya?”
You can’t very well have an Asgard without the Aesir and I demand to be the Crown Prince with all the powers and priveleges thereof.
I also want a nifty hammer.
I run a mean Secret Police force.
[sub]Sung to the tune of O Canada[/sub]
O Asgard,
Our new and improved land.
O-din-one-eye, his wish is our command.
With glowing hearts we improvise,
We plow forth strong and free.
From far and wide,
O Asgard, we pledge our loyalty.
Please keep our land, free of loose debris,
O Asgard, we pledge our loyalty.
O Asgard, we pledge our loy-al-tyyyyyyyyyy.
[sup]My fellow Canadians… I am sooooo sorry.[/sup]
With that… I nominate myself for the official title of “Anthem Maker-Upper.”
Or Court Jester, if that spot is still open.
… and a motto:
Do nothing. Then rest
Do you need a concubine?
Are you cute?
I have this cousin…
I want to be Secretary of Parades and Other Reasons to Skip Out of Work.
I do love a parade…
I want to be Minister of Networks, Wireless Communications, And Little Gadgets With Blinking Blue Lights. Oh, And Big-Screen TVs And DVD Players. Heck, Why Not The Whole Video And Filmmaking Infrastructure While We’re At It?
But I may have to shorten the name a bit.
I don’t want a title or a job, but could I have a wee bit of land where I can make my compound and not be bothered by anybody?