I'm still shaking... scary stuff.

On my way home from school today I noted that

A) My car needed some gas and
B) It had a bunch of trash in it- soda cups, some drive-thru bags, etc.

I did the logical thing, stopping at the first gas station I saw with a dumpster to get gas and toss the trash. I pull up to the dumpster beside the station and begin tossing stuff. A homeless man approached me and said “I’m looking for work around here…” I answered that I didn’t know where to find any, and he looked at me and said in about the most desperate way I can imagine “Please, can you do something to help me? Buy me something to eat?” I was moved and I gave him 5 dollars, all the money I had on me. He thanked me and moved over to the wall of the building.

I continued what I was doing, and I suddenly realized he was behind me. He asked if he could help clean, but I was almost done and I thanked him but said no. It gets scary now: He said something like “You look good.” and put his hands on me and started moving one across my chest. I pulled his hands off and told him I wasn’t interested (I assumed he was trying to repay me for giving him money, but I was uninterested in having relations with a random homeless guy). He stepped back for a second, as I made haste toward the front of my car to get out of there, but he stepped in front of me again. He grabbed his crotch and said “I’ve got eight inches” at this point I was pretty worried, and tried to get around him, but he grabbed me and started moving his hands across me. He said “You look good, can I kiss you?” and when he leaned in I could smell the booze on his breath. I’ve been a rape victim before, and I was really freaking out, he had a grip on me and was moving in, so I punched him in the side of the head hard enough to make him let go and hold his hand to the spot where I hit him. I shoved him backwards and he tripped over the curb and fell on the sidewalk next to the store, moaning pretty loudly. I got in my car and drove the hell out of there, I made another pass by on the street and saw that he was no longer there, so he must have gotten up and left.

I don’t know what I could have/should have done differently, but I’m majorly freaked out here. On the one hand I was sort of attacked by a random scary homeless guy that I was trying to help out, on the other hand he didn’t actually do physical harm to me and while I doubt I caused real DAMAGE to him I’m sure I hurt him plenty. I was just SO not ready for that to happen, and I have no idea if I handled it right. He must have been relatively OK if he was able to get up and leave, so at least I didn’t kill him or anything. Shit! I just wanted to help the guy, I gave him everything I had on me and I ended up having to hurt him and run away. Why the hell did that have to happen? I just don’t get it, I don’t think I had another choice… his fucking hands were all over me and he had this grip… but he seemed so pathetic and like he just needed some help. I tried! I tried to help him and I told him that he didn’t have to repay me but he wouldn’t take his hands off me. Fuck! I just don’t even know what to think about this. I’ll probably just calm down and eventually forget about it, I doubt if anyone involved was harmed seriously and I doubt there’s anything I can do about anything that happened.

Jesus that’s a scary situation.


You did the right thing. Be good to yourself tonight . . . bubble bath and cookies sounds about right.

This guy tried to sexually assault you (after you were kind enough to give him money) and you feel guilty for hitting him? Sorry, man, I sympathise, and I understand you’re shaken…but he deserved what he got. If it had been me, I’d have kicked him a good one in the nuts after I hit him, just for good measure. Then probably called the cops.

Don’t beat yourself up for defending yourself. He was in the wrong.

{{{{Lucki Chaarms}}}}

That sounds like a very scary experience, and I’m glad it didn’t turn into anything worse for you! You did what you could under the circumstances, and the right thing for you. I hope you give yourself a treat tonight, and take time out for what Scarlett suggested. Do what makes you feel good, LC: Nobody should have to go through that!

**Lucki Charms, ** the only thing you could or should have done differently was to call the cops. the guy deserved what you gave him. Don’t feel guilty, like you caused it or something. You were in the right!!!

I second the motion about cookies and a bubble bath, maybe with champagne instead of cookies. A NICE bottle. Be extra good to yourself just now. I am sorry you had to put up with crap like that. I will say a prayer for you tonight.

Do not make yourself feel bad about this. You sound like an incredibly nice and caring person which is probably why you are having all these conflicting feelings right now. Yes, you gave him money. You did a noble thing. But, that man, regardless of HIS situation, crossed a line with you. He was touching you and doing things that you did not want. That was wrong - regardless if he was a homeless alcoholic or the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. And you owe no apologies for defending yourself in that sitation.

I’m sorry you had to go through this. But I’m thankful that nothing worse happened to you. You did the right thing and that’s all you need to think about right now - yourself.

Yes, it was definitely assault and who WOULDN’T feel freaked. It’s a normal reaction. You did the right thing, and I don’t blame you for feeling wigged out.

Honestly, you might want to put in a call to the police and let them take a description. What if he goes after someone else, someone who isn’t as assertive as you, or, worse yet, is a kid? They may be able to prevent that if they have a complaint.

Jesus Luckii

You gave him all the money you had on you, and he rewarded you with a rape attempt. That really sucks. Sorry to hear this happens - nobody deserves that.

You did the right thing, the though you should do when you defended yourself. If you can handle it you should really call the police and report this guy before he hurts someone else.

First of all, I’m glad you’re OK.

Second, I don’t think it’s too late to call the police. It’s quite likely that he’s wanted for other crimes and you might help get a dangerous man off the streets. It’s also possible that this guy needs treatment for mental problems. Getting arrested might be the only way for him to get help.

I’m very glad you’re OK. It’s a damn shame your kindness was repaid with hostility.

I also echo heresiarch above. I urge you to call the police.

Not like you know me from Adam but…I would also call the police. What if the “next guy” isn’t able to defend as well as you did?

So glad you weren’t hurt.


So sorry this happened to you - he was wrong! :mad: Calling the police is an excellent idea.

Just as a reminder to threadwatchers ~ never throw anything away in a public trash can which may have your name/address on it. Probably an easy assumption for most of us, but a lesson I forgot to share with my 20yo daughter :eek:

I’m glad you’re ok.

Be angry at this guy for attacking you for your kindness. Don’t be mad at yourself. You had no choice but to defend yourself.

Please consider calling the police, giving a statement and a description. The next person he sees might not have your presence of mind and ability to defend themselves.

You did nothing wrong at all. Walk tall. It’s common, when push comes to shove, for a person to get the shakes afterward. You were out of your normal behavior zone and that’s scary.

But you did the right thing.

And I also advise you to call the police. You’ve served notice on this guy that his actions can have consequences already. Telling the cops just might drive the point home.

Bravo to you Lucki for defending yourself, as many have mentioned you handled that situation the right way. He had no right to touch you and/or grab you, and continue his advances after you told him to stop. You warned him, he didn’t back down, he got what he had coming.

Hats off to you (and I do wear my hat all the time).


First of all, I agree with the consensus; call the cops.

A few years back, I got into a fight with someone I didn’t want to injure. I’ve been in maybe three fights in my whole life. I couldn’t get him to stop fighting, even though I outweighed him and could easily outfight him. The only thing I could think of was bloodying his nose, concentrating on his face, where I’d heard you can make the most mess, but do the least damage. Eventually, when he was bloody enough, he quit fighting. He was fine in the end, but I realized that I needed to be much more in control of myself if I ever get into another fight. I don’t want to hurt anybody.

I started taking aikido right after that. It’s a martial art that emphasizes controlling a fight, and doing as little harm as possible to your opponent.

While I hope that you never have to deal with anything this horriffic ever again, it helps to have some idea of how to keep anyone from getting hurt. You might want to check it out.

And you did exactly, completely, the right thing in these circumstances.

Add me to the list of people urging you to call the police. It’s entirely possible that this person was previously in a mental facility of some sort, and needs to go back!

Glad you’re OK…

{{{{Luckii Charms}}}}
You are, ok, you know, and I’ll add myself to the list of people telling you you did nothing wrong and you were fully justified in hitting him. Lesser measures did not work. Please do call the police. You’re not being cruel; you’re trying to keep someone else from feeling the way you do because of this idiot’s actions.

Take care,


I can’t say I’d do any different, save maybe call for police immediately. But then, maybe I wouldn’t have, either. Look in the mirror and be proud that you were able to defend yourself.

Just wanted to check back in and see how you are feeling.