I'm totally disgusted.

So, I just got back from a friend’s house after hanging out, watching the Wings edge the Kings, and playing some card games. I get back to my dorm and discover the little light on my answering machine winking at me:

“I’m calling for Mr. Mambozzy. This is so-and-so from Public Safety. There’s been an…‘incident’ with your vehicle. If you could call us back, etc.”

Now I’m in college so I’m not driving any kind of expensive luxury sedan. However, I’ve got a '96 Jeep with a V8 and 150,000 miles fully loaded in excellent condition. For my status in life, it’s a sweet ride. I’ve said on several occasions that this car is too good for me and that I anticipated a wreck in the near future. Needlesstosay, I’m sweating. So I call PS back and ask them what this is all about. Right away, the guy recognizes my name. DAMN!

“Umm, let me transfer you to the officer on duty here, hold on.”

<Click> I get a dial tone. So I call back.

“Sorry about that, hold on. <muffled discussion between dispatch and the officer> He’s doing something else right now, he’ll call you back in 15 minutes.”
“Can you just tell me what happened to my car?” I query.
“No, I don’t know.”

So now I found myself sitting up at two AM waiting for some cop to call me back to tell me if I should be looking for a new car. Finally, after the longest 23 minutes in history, my phone rings. Apparently, a group of individuals were enjoying some alcoholic beverages in the parking lot. After consuming a number of these drinks, nature began to take its course. Many found relief in the nearby trees or at the very least in the isleway between the cars. One decided to evacuate the entire contents of his bladder on my passenger side door and handle. Granted, it’s not nearly as bad as the image of smoking wreckage that flashed into my mind upon hearing the word ‘incident’ but it’s rather disgusting and disturbing, nonetheless.

My question is this: What negative effects does human urine have the purple-ish coat of paint on my Jeep? I don’t know of any local car washes that would be open this late and I’m not all that enthusiastic about driving around looking for one until morning.

Thanks, Dopers

You don’t have a garden hose?

Or a bucket of water? A jug?

Man, reading your subject and some of your post, I was prepared for the worst…but urine? Come on, that’s not that gross. Regardless, I’m not sure what kind of damage it may do, though I suspect in the short-term, it’ll do little.

You got a break, fella!

Except for that rainbow effect that will just scream “urinized”! :wink:

Just clean it off with some Ammonia, to get rid of the urine smell. :smiley:

Say, that begs the question…would urine and bleach explode when mixed?

If the urine has caused any color change to the paint, you could quite easily hide the “damage” by peeing all over the rest of the vehicle to produce a uniform color.

Now that’s some sound advice gm ! (What color does yellow and purple make?)

Now that’s some sound advice gm ! (What color does yellow and purple make?)

Now that’s some sound advice gm ! (What color does yellow and purple make?)

Well, if you mix yellow urine and purple urine, standard color theory suggests you’ll end up with either brown or gray urine, depending on whether the purple was toward the red or blue end of the urine spectrum.

Yellow urine on dry, purple auto enamel will probably not change color.

Dry, purple auto enamel will probably not be affected much by any color of urine.

I’ve heard of magnesium wheels ruined by dog urine, but those are not very common these days. (Mag wheels that is - dog urine is still very common.) Other than that it’s hard to imagine any permanent damage resulting from this.

Still, it would really be a gentlemanly thing to do to open your date’s door for her from now on.

purple jeep? sounds like someones a homosexual!

So, **rodmunch **, how long have you been having these auditory hallucinations involving color?

about 3 or 4 months now

Due to certain processesses and college-level politics, I’m still considered a Freshman despite the fact that this is my third year at an institution of higher learning. As a result, I’m banned to [booming voice] THE FRESHMAN PARKING LOT [/booming voice] <thunderclap>. It’s big. It’s surrounded by trees. It’s a completely seperate entity from the campus itself. Think: Walmart parking lot nine blocks down from the actual store.

Actually, now that I think about it, it’s really not all that far to carry a medium-sized bucket of water but it was late, dammit, and I’m really lazy.

As for the purpleness of my car: Hey, it was cheap. I’d drive
this if the price was right (and assuming that it was in good working condition).

Hmmm… “certain processesses” are holding you back… at least in the area of academic institution parking lot advancement…

Won’t the “processesses” of an internal combustion engine-powered vehicle let you take the door closer to the bucket?

This thread is turning into a real pissing match.

A bucket of hot, soapy water, a sponge and a garden hose, and the Jeep wins!

Ammonia and bleach, when mixed, do not explode. They release hydrogen cyanide gas, which’ll kill you in a much less spectacular way than, say, pure hydrogen and a spark might (actually, the explosion would be likely to merely injure, and not kill, you. A roomful of poisonous gas is worse, from a survival aspect.). Urine and bleach will do the same thing, I suppose, though the ammonia component of urine is usually much more dilute than bottled ammonia, so the poisonous output would be less.

mambozzy, please use descriptive thread titles when you post questions here.

Thank you and welcome to the boards.

This thread is asked and answered. And closed.

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