I’ll second Paris Hilton, but I can’t understand how anyone finds Ann Coulter hot, with that stringy, boney face and neck.
Michelle Malkin, OTOH, would be just fine, as long as the only talking she did would be to beg me to do whatever it was I wanted to do with her next, and to thank me for it afterwards.
[QUOTE=zamboniracer]
Skald, I’m curious, why can’t you imagine having good sex with Halle Berry? Unless you’re related to one of her many exs like David Justice or Eric Benet or have been sideswiped by her vehicle I don’t understand that. (And I’d cheerfully let her smash my car if I got to have sex with her afterwards. 
)
[/QUOTE]
I apologize profusely Skald. I misread your post.
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer]
It is best not to watch Celebrity Jeopardy, or any sort of celebrity interview show. I prefer to know as little as possible about artists I like.
[/QUOTE]
Ditto. I think that Russell Crowe is the finest hunk of man-meat ever to waltz out of the Southern Hemisphere. People say, “Omigod, did you see Russell Crowe on [talk show]?” and I’m like, “STOP! Shut. Up. Now.” I stick my fingers in my ears and go “NANANANANANANANA” because I do not want to know anything about his real life. I’m never, ever, every going to meet him and there is absolutely nothing to be gained by knowing anything about him.
Apparently, he threw a phone at somebody at some point. And I cannot emphasize enough how much really I don’t care.
I’m not in lurve with the actual Russell Crowe, I am in lurve with my mental image of Russell Crowe, and my mental image is kind to puppies and intense and deep and has a thing for brainy astrophysicists, and my goal is to protect that mental image from contamination by any and all real-life information.
[QUOTE=RTFirefly]
Michelle Malkin, OTOH, would be just fine, as long as the only talking she did would be to beg me to do whatever it was I wanted to do with her next, and to thank me for it afterwards.
[/QUOTE]
Seconded.
Also Britney.
[QUOTE=zamboniracer]
Skald, I’m curious, why can’t you imagine having good sex with Halle Berry? Unless you’re related to one of her many exs like David Justice or Eric Benet or have been sideswiped by her vehicle I don’t understand that. (And I’d cheerfully let her smash my car if I got to have sex with her afterwards. )
[/QUOTE]
I can’t put my finger on it. Somehow she strikes me as neither particularly intelligent nor likely to be skilled or enthusiastic.
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer]
I can’t put my finger on it. Somehow she strikes me as neither particularly intelligent nor likely to be skilled or enthusiastic.
[/QUOTE]
Did you ever see Monster’s Ball?
I know it’s just a movie, but it’ll at least help you change your mind. 
[QUOTE=Carnac the Magnificent!]
Within the world of anorexic narcissistic trannies with Stage IV Marfan’s Syndrome and closet Nazi tendencies, Anne Coulter is a definite 10.
[/QUOTE]
You think Coulter’s Nazi tendencies are CLOSET?
I don’t know about Marfan’s syndrome, though, 'cause I don’t know what that is. Share with me your wisdom.
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer]
See, I can’t pretend that well. I should have watched more Sesame Street while I was growing up. The thing is, I can imagine having very good sex with, say, Kelly Ripa, or either iteration of Britney, or even, god help me, Halle Berry. But Ann Coulter? ::shuddering:: Apart from the moral outrage that would necessitate kicking my own ass afterwards, apart from the likelihood that my penis would freeze, break off, and shatter into a thousand pieces in the process (and all my future plans for my penis involve it being whole and attached), I have this sinking feeling that she could only enjoy herself by muttering “Eek! I’m being raped by a nigger!” throughout the process.
[/QUOTE]
I just had to thank you, Skald, for making my day with this one.
Yep, Kelly’s got to be at the top of that list. The few times I’ve seen the R&K show, I’ve felt the overpowering urge to shout “Shut up. Shut UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP. SHUT HE FUCK UP NOW, YOU SPASTIC PIXIE-WHORE!”
And occasionally, she is shutting up, and I’m like “mmmmmmm”.
Fran Drescher
and a second for Kelly and Halle.
[QUOTE=Loopydude]
Yep, Kelly’s got to be at the top of that list. The few times I’ve seen the R&K show, I’ve felt the overpowering urge to shout “Shut up. Shut UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP. SHUT HE FUCK UP NOW, YOU SPASTIC PIXIE-WHORE!”
And occasionally, she is shutting up, and I’m like “mmmmmmm”.
[/QUOTE]
Bizarrely enough, this is especially true when she’s in profile. I don’t know hy, but I just llllooovvveee her profile. Particularly the chin.
'Course I notice odd body parts. I’m fond of Jewel’s collarbones, for instance.
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer]
You think Coulter’s Nazi tendencies are CLOSET?
I don’t know about Marfan’s syndrome, though, 'cause I don’t know what that is. Share with me your wisdom.
[/QUOTE]
Closet? Only the actual uniform and the Swastika flag she salutes to.
Marfan’s? Google, bro. Coulter makes the late Robert Wadlow look positively petite.
Okay, the flag bit was a bit over the top. Let’s change that to her signed photo from Uncle Adolph.
Better?
[QUOTE=Carnac the Magnificent!]
Closet? Only the actual uniform and the Swastika flag she salutes to.
Marfan’s? Google, bro. Coulter makes the late Robert Wadlow look positively petite.
[/QUOTE]
Don’t be silly. Everybody knows that Skalds only existed during Viking times, and thus are obviously unable to use the Internet.
[QUOTE=Jess]
Yes, that would have been brilliant, wouldn’t it? I’d just like to see him in something with a love scene in it. He seems like he’s be sexy as can be, but it’s hard to tell from the roles I’ve seen him in.
[/QUOTE]
Have you seen him in Brotherhood? I’m not sure what kind of character he plays, but it’s a 10 o’clock show so maybe he’ll get some semi-nude action.
I liked him in Friends With Money.
Deites assist me … Keanu Reeves. Preferably if he didn’t talk at all.
Dharma and/or Greg. Jenna Elfman is the female Tom Cruise, and Thomas Gibson is a one-note actor, but I consider both of them hot.
[QUOTE=Clockwork And Candy]
Whew. Finally someone says it. I didn’t want to be the first one. The size of her hands is the stuff of nightmares, though. Seriously… it’s almost like some bizarre defect. :
[/QUOTE]
[Austin Powers]It’s a MAN, baby![/Austin Powers]
Jennifer Love Hewitt. Wicked cute, but I don’t know if she has two brain cells to rub together.
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas]
Thomas Gibson is a one-note actor
[/QUOTE]
I liked him a lot in Of Love and Human Remains. It sealed his hotness for me.
