We’re talking about wanting to fuck hot women we can’t stand…because they’re hot. “Decorum” went out the hatch a long time ago, fellow lecher.
Maybe not, but definitely satisfies the second requirement to be in this thread. One of my major newsbabe crushes.
Yes, but I LIKE Campbell Brown, so I’d never say anything as cruel about her as I would about Ann Coulter.
No the requirements are that you want her/him even though you know she/he is scum, or stupid, or stupid scum.
For the most part Coulter is an unperson to me, but–
–I’ve always had the unfounded, nasty suspicion that she’s a tranny.
Well, that was the original question for the thread, but if there’s a slight hijack to mention DDG women who aren’t bubbleheaded or evil, I can live with that.
I’m surprised no-one has mentioned Naiomi Campbell.
The only thing I know about Naomi Campbell is how to spell her name. What’s wrong with her?
I’ve got a very strong opinion on this topic. I can’t post it right this second, but I can tell you kids to sit around and look giddy while you wait for me to come back and post with reckless abandon.
Just little things like vandalism and assault:
OK, I have something to contribute to this.
My ldest daughter is about 5 years behind the Olsen twins in age, and so she followed them pretty closely through her pre-teen years, which meant my constant exposure to the horror that is (was) Full House.
I immediately came to hate everything associated with that show, not that that was difficult in anyway. The monkey faced twins, the lame Canadian guy, the guy (who I understand is 180 degrees removed from his TV roles) who did “Funniest Videos”, the mullet guy, all of them.
Just tonight I was alerted by the same daughter (since healed) of a show on some high numbered channel called “Summerland”. The old wife of mullett guy was a featured character, and holy crap! She is my age, and completely hot, even though she has that Dick Clark incapacity to age thing going on.
The collision of emotions in my gut nearly floored me.
Now, I love me petites. If I can be picky, I’ll take one of them. Paris Hilton would get her face fucked not to get off, but just to simply shut her up. Spackling her tonsils with my hot man chowder is only an extra.
Halle Berry. Halle Berry? Someone would be ashamed to bonk the snot out of her? I’d fuck her tits off and brag about it to EVERY guy I saw for the rest of my life. I’d eat yogurt out of that woman’s ass. Even with sprinkles. I hate sprinkles.
Make me feel goooooooodddd! Maaaaaake me feel goooood! I’m working on it, sweetheart!
As for Kelly Ripa. She’d catch it in the ass. That gay ass stain pen commercial is annoying, but I deduce from that commercial that she’s a screamer. I figure if I take a running start at her, she’ll yelp loud enough to wake the neighbors up down the block thereby alerting the rest of her zip code about my prowess in the sack. She lives in a rich zip code or so I’d think. That’s a plus.
Britney? Back in the day, she was the it girl. As we’ve already seen, she was mighty fine. She’s a wreck now and a complete attention whore, but I’d drain my testicles on her cleavage.
Naomi Campbell would be pretty fierce in the sack as well, I think. Insert Shannen Doherty in this file, please.
Tyra Banks, I’ve heard, is a complete train wreck without her makeup. Doesn’t matter. She’d get the business too. I’d knock it out with extreme prejudice. Put Pam Anderson in this category as well. I’d have to double bag it and use one of those old garbage bag tie closures around the base to make sure the hepatitis c didn’t infiltrate the fortress of manhood that is my mighty wang.
Ann Coulter. Um. When I look at “her”, I don’t even think ANYTHING sexual, where with Paris, I’d at least wonder what her birdlike nose would look covered in my spunk.
The Olsen Twins were cute for a little while. They’re simply collectible and notches on bedposts as far as I’m concerned now.
Tiffany Amber-Theisen was so pretty back in her Saved By the Bell days. Then, it looks like someone jammed some compressed ear into one of her ears (and plugged up the other ear to stop air leaks) and inflated her noggin to Sputnik-like proportions.
I wouldn’t spare the rod when it came to Jenna Elfman. I’d try to fuck the brains back INTO her so we can get rid of all this Scientology nonsense. Either that or she just doesn’t get to talk afterwards. If she wants to give money, we can name my ovarian cue stick “Scientology” and she can just make the check payable to moi.
Jennifer Love Hewitt? She (along with Mariah Carey, who I’d impale) is one of those girls who, if you mention to a female that you think she’s pretty, the female bares the claws and starts naming off her “flaws”. This could be another thread very soon.
I’m either being Pitted of going to hell after that post. The possibility is there for both.
Then again, there’s also possibility that I’ll hear from people on the “Chatting With Dopers!” thread in MSPIMS.
I go to bed now.
I see a bright future in porn screenplays for you.
Heh. Yeah, that was some pretty raw stuff there, no?
And I’m not talking about what it is afterwards.
The Hell? Why? Dear God, Why?
I’d KILL to be the man who is with Natalie Merchant. Why would anyone be ashamed to love her?
She’s all yours. I don’t want to get a flame war going, so I’ll just say that Natalie, while possessing a decent vocal instrument, tends to sing the equivalent of alt-easy listening music…meh and bleh.
Beyond that, I would have to go with many, many of the entries here. In common conversation, I refer to women who fit this category as “train wrecks” or “car accidents” - you don’t want to, but, as a Man, you are hard-wired so you can’t NOT look - you just gotta…
Lori Loughlin? She’s been smokin’ for YEARS!
[Eric Cartman]
Naomi Campbell’s a bitch, she’s big fat bitch,
She’s the biggest bitch in the whole wide world.
Have oyu ever met my friend Naomi Campbell,
She’s a bitch to all the boys and girls.[/Eric Cartman]
I have a new catch phrase! Thank you for that!
I will third the nomination of the lovely but hateable Malkin and throw in Fox News’ gorgeous but Fascist Juliet Huddy. In the imaginary category I nominate Law & Order’s former assistant DA Abbie “Give 'em the death chair for parking tickets” Carmichael as played by Angie Harmon
