Okay, okay, okay!
Sinus-sufferers, listen up! (Those of you who heard the lecture can go on about your business.)
Go to the drug store and buy the following:
° Sudafed, or the generic equivalent. You want pseudoephedrine, not that phenolpropyl blahblah crap
° Neo-Synepherine nose drops. If there’s a store brand, fine, but make sure it’s the same stuff.
° Ocean saline nasal spray or generic equivalent
If you don’t have those big, fluffy, luxurious washcloths at home, pick up at least five of those.
When you are in sinus Hell, and by that I mean it feels like somebody injected your nose and sinuses with epoxy, this is the treatment for you!
Take those big, fluffy washcloths and soak them in warm water, then fold each in half and wring out individually. Place them in a Ziploc freezer bag. Stick the bag in the microwave and nuke on HI for three to five minutes.
Take the dose of Sudafed. Drink a full glass of water.
Pop the spray top off the bottle of saline nasal spray. Pour a little bit out. Now install the dropper in the bottle of Neo-Synepherine, and put a FULL dropperful of Neo-Synepherine into the saline nasal spray bottle. Put the spray top back in place.
Find a flat surface where you can hang your head over the side, like a bed, coffee table, or couch. Scooch to the edge, so your head hangs down, and your chin points to the ceiling.
Tip the bottle of spiked saline nasal spray into your nostril so it dribbles in your nose. Not too much! Do the other nostril.
Stay upside down for several minutes. You may need to add more if the stuff drains down the back of your throat. Get that chin pointed to the ceiling!
Slowly sit up, you’ll probably be a little dizzy. Sniff to keep the nasal spray in your nose.
Get one or two big bathtowels, and fetch the bag of washcloths from the microwave. Use the bathtowels so you don’t burn yourself! The bag and contents will be very hot!!
If you have a recliner, go sit in it and kick back. Otherwise, stack some pillows on the couch and recline there.
Being VERY CAREFUL, get a hot washcloth out of the bag. Cover the bag up with the towels to keep the heat in! Now, very gently, lay the folded-in-half washcloth over your forehead and eyes.
Try to remember to breathe.
When the washcloth cools, throw it on the floor and get another one out of the bag. Repeat the steps above.
Keep going until the bag is empty.
The Sudafed, plus the Neo-Synepherine should loosen up the crud and shrink the nasal and sinus tissues. The hot packs loosen the crud so it becomes more liquid.
You should be able to blow huge chunks of nastiness out of your nose now. More nastiness will drain down the back of your throat.
If you STILL are congested, repeat the entire process (without the Sudafed).
You’re welcome.
~VOW