Well, after 6 days of what felt a little bit like sanity, had a big anxiety attack this morning. Took a xanax around 7 am, but I can’t say the storm has really passed yet. I have big knots in my stomach…
I did stock the pantry early and then went to a hair appointment. My hairdresser Vicki works in one of those rabbit warren places where each stylist rents their own separate room with sink, etc., and a door that closes. Even so, we’re both masked the whole time.
We’re very close and have been through a lot together. I told her that today would have been my 30th wedding anniversary. My late husband and I were so happy and optimistic that day, little knowing that we were headed for years of health problems. He was a good man and did not have a malicious bone in his body. I could have been better. Whenever I would do something bitch and later I’d ask him to forgive me, he’d always say, “I already have.” I don’t miss him-- he’s been gone 20 years. I miss being loved in real life by another human being in my household.
At the end of my appointment we threw caution to the winds (still masked) and she gave me a big, long, real hug. My first since-- I can’t remember… probably February sometime. It felt so good. I can’t tell y’all how good it felt.
I came home and took a nap and when I got up I had a missed call from Vicki. And a text. The text said, “There’s something at your front door.” I opened it and there were two little shopping bags. One had a sandwich, chips, a big cookie, and lemonade. The other had some little presents-- a “Emergency Meltdown Rescue Candle,” a kitty cat nap mask, and a little bookmark that says, “Friends are the family you choose for yourself.” Oh goodness, I cried, then called her, then cried some more, then had a couple of bites of sandwich and cookie-- stomach still knotted. That was soooo sweet. Made me feel better…
Are others having stomach, G.I. distress, backaches, and other aches and pains that you attribute to COVID stress? I know anxiety is rampant in the country. COVID, on top of the state of the country and state of the world… anxiety is always nearby…
Thanks for listening. 