I am bothered by this phrasing.
You should “go after” who you desire – to the extent of finding out whether that person’s also interested in you; not to the extent of continuing after anyone who’s not interested.
But you shouldn’t be going after what you desire. Your phrasing reads, at least to me, as if you’re intending to pursue people based only on what “league” you’ve decided to categorize them in.
There is no league as other people have said. My girlfriend/fiancee is less physically attractive than I am or most of the others I have gone out with but that effect wears off after about a week.
She used to be really self-conscience about it until I told her I just love her for being her which is completely true. I also have a whole lot more money than she does so, on paper, I am out of her league but she is a priest that also happens to be incredible in bed and I think that is really damned hot. Most importantly, we are a near perfect personality match and that is what really allows you to go the distance. I will take blowjobs on demand, great character and ambition over a sterile beauty queen any day.
I’d like an answer to this myself.
I asked out a man once who was out of my league in looks. (And, as it turned out, gay.) His response was a heartfelt thank you. The best letdown ever, and one of the few times I became friends with someone in that situation.
No, a taboo is when you are trying to date a blood relative or a minor.
Ē killed ēs father. Ē should prepare to die.
It’s not taboo to date out of your league; it’s logically impossible. If you ask someone out, and they say yes, the fact that they said yes is itself evidence that you are, in fact, in their league, even if you didn’t realize it.
“Why settle for a 6 when an 8.5 might appreciate you for who you really are?”
Ehhh…I wouldn’t put it in such absolute terms (after all, maybe a 1 can somehow get a 10 and vice versa, anyone can win a lottery.) But there are, generally, certain “tiers” and it becomes harder to date or attract someone out of one’s tier - not impossible, but harder than being in one’s own tier or going after someone in a lower tier.
Not sure who you’re quoting; but reducing people to numbers will get a significant number of people’s backs up. Your “6” and your “8.5” may both stalk off together in indignation.
Right- I’ve personally known several people who IMO, are irrationally picky. One’s a woman who is quite attractive, and quite successful, and she seems to be holding out for some kind of unicorn - a guy as successful and good looking as she is, AND with all the right personality traits.
But the tiers are purely subjective. If society in general thinks I’m a 5 but the 8 I’m dating thinks I’m an 8, then to them, I’m an 8, and we’re in the same league - and to hell with society in general.
You seem to have entirely missed Chronos’s point.
I was just restating the OP’s thesis and amusing myself. I’ll go away now.
Congrats on getting engaged
IMHO: This is a VERY controversial thread.
Sincerely,
A Solid 10
I realize this is mostly about looks, but “league” covers other things too.
Here’s an example.
I’ve lurked on the Facebook page of a man I dated in college (and briefly thought I would marry) and knew that he had married a woman with a comparable education level, and they had two children. (He’s a tenured Ph.D. college professor; she’s a physical therapist.) I knew they had divorced - apparently amicably - a few years ago, and last time I checked, he had posted pictures of his current girlfriend.
She graduated from a medical assistant program, and works as a school custodian. IDK any more about her.
He is genuinely one of the nicest people I have ever known, and as long as they’re happy, that’s all that matters.
I guarantee that your girlfriend is more physically attractive than you are.
Maybe they are just slumming?
Ah. I wasn’t sure whether you were giving your own opinion or stating somebody else’s; thanks for the clarification.
I can remember being intimidated by very attractive girls. They always had a group of friends around them. There wasn’t much opportunity to approach and talk.
I sat next to a popular girl in class during my junior year. Her friends were in other classes. We talked and were friendly. I found out she had a bf. There was no need to ask her out and get rejected.
Most guys fear rejection. Especially if the girl seems annoyed that a less popular kid showed any interest.
I’m not gonna date anyone who believes in the Designated Hitter. I’m assuming that’s what you mean.