Why do we drive on a parkway, but fuck chickens?
Why are there no midgets on Death Row?
Why do people who don’t wear a watch look at their wrists when you ask them the time?
(Actually, that one has an answer: So they can pull off the boffo punchline, “Three hairs past the freckle!”)
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Why is a duck?
Because one of its legs is both the same.
How long is a piece of string?
Twice as long as it is from the middle to one end. 
Long enough to reach the ground.
Why do women… …?
What would Jesus do?
Because… %^~… Zz CARRIER LOST
Kill all Jews. Starting with His Mom. As would anyone who has a Jewish Mother, and then sleep the sleep of the just.
Because.
Why does my cat…?
Millard Fillmore and Rutherford B. Hayes were both Presidents of the United States. Neither was assassinated. Coincidence? Consider the following:
Neither man died on a Tuesday.
Neither man was from Pennsylvania.
Neither man served in the Senate.
Neither man was a Mormon.
Neither man was married to a woman named Jane.
Neither man was succeeded by a man named John.
Neither man is portrayed on Mt Rushmore.
Neither man spoke Italian.
Neither man authorized the founding of the CIA.
Fillmore never had a cat named Rutherford. Hayes never had a dog named Millard.
OTOH, Solomon Grundy was born on Monday, christened on Tuesday, married on Wednesday, took ill Thursday, grew worse Friday, died on Saturday, buried on Sunday, and that was the end of Solomon Grundy.
Why did Solomon Grundy get married at the age of three days?
The Ultimate “Anchor Baby”?
Where does it say that those days were all in the same week?
In BG’s quoted bit, there was an “a” in the line for the day. In what he then posted himself, there wasn’t. So, a literal reading could be that it was all the same week. It’s a joke, roll with it. 
It would have killed him to become a doctor?
