In a Mere 20 Minutes

We had 2 of the grandkids (7 yo girl & 8 yo boy) for a sleepover on Sat night. It was a beautiful day, we spent a couple of hours at a local lake then came home and had supper. The weather started to turn, so I decided to take the dogs for a walk - one at a time. My dogs are big - 90 & 115 lbs. So unless we’re out hiking and they’re off leash, I don’t normally walk them at the same time. So I took out Romeo first and the kids wanted to come with too. (Back story - Romeo has been sick for a few days (diarrhea and vomiting.) We get back to the house and as I suspected, the kids were done with walking so they stayed home with grandpa and Romeo. I leashed up Luca and headed out. When I returned, grandpa otherwise known as my husband came storming out of the house as though he had just been through a major disaster. Here’s what happened in the 20 minutes I was gone:

The teeny little girl, who at the age of 7 still wears size 4 pants, plugged the toilet with a giant turd she flushed down earlier in the day. The plugging and overflowing occurred when her brother attempted to flush his poop that, I was told, was a brilliant shade of green (more than likely caused by eating a thousand pieces of Starburst candy).

As grandpa was trying to plunge the toilet, the kids yelled, “grandpa, Romeo is gagging!” He ran to get the dog out of the house before he puked all over the floor. He was unsuccessful.

He told the kids to stay away from the puke. They, of course, were curious and had to see what happened. The little girl took one look at the dog puke and threw up all over the kitchen floor (hamburger and chocolate ice cream - in case you were wondering).

Luckily, some of the mess was left for me to clean up.

My husband said to me after all was said and done, “I don’t want to be left alone with kids ever again.”

Ah - the magic of kids. Weren’t you lucky something was saved for you to clean up!

Awesome! Thanks for the laugh :smiley:

Poor Grandpa. One minute everything’s fine and the next he’s drowning in turds and barf :smiley:

Funny how fast stuff can go off the rails. Too often a flood of turds and puke is just the beginning.

Interestingly that green color comes from eating purple candy (or really anything with that purple coloring – a grape Popsicle, grape Kool-Aid, grape soda, etc.). That purple coloring reacts with an enzyme in your digestive system and turns green.

Gah! Been there done that.

Think of that 20 minutes as the length of time that Piccard and Walsh stayed down in the Marianas Trench in 1960, and maybe all the chaos that erupted will seem less epic.

Seems like they kept meaning to go back…did they?

wiping away tears of hilarity

Oh, Beckdawrek, should we make TRC4941 a member of our exclusive club?

You’re welcome! We are all laughing about it now. The kids talked about it non-stop the next day. They could hardly wait to tell their mom when they got home. As I was driving them home, they were in the backseat discussing how it was going to be told - who got to tell what part. My grandson said, “it was the funniest night of my life”.

Here’s an old post from 2009 that might make you feel better:

Ooooh… gross!

You clogged the toilet then puked on the kitchen floor? :eek:

Cheap licorice candy can do the same. Twizzlers has not had that effect on me, but store-brand stuff has. You’re welcome.

This tale reminds me of when Moon Unit was doing some potty training. We were in the master bedroom with the TV on, she was bottomless, and the potty seat was near the TV.

She got up, walked out to her own room, came back in, and said something like “poo-poo”. I sniffed, grabbed her, sat her on the potty seat, then went to check out her bedroom. Yep, quite a mess on the carpet. I came back into my bedroom to check on her and she hadn’t done anything in the potty but, well, there was residue on her bottom and legs (and thus on the seat).

So I took her into the bathroom, started the tub, plunked her in, and popped into her room to start cleaning the mess. No, I did not leave her to drown; her bedroom door was right next to the bathroom door, and she was never out of my sight for more than 5 seconds.

So I began the task of carrying wads of soiled TP from the bedroom floor to the toilet. Foolishly, I did not flush after each wad… so my kid managed to clog a toilet without even using it. I honestly can’t recall whether I managed to make the toilet overflow but it would have been fitting addition to the festivities if I had.