In a perfect world...

…awesome, inspiring movies would not have stupid, predictable endings, and all movies would always be better than their previews.

…the beer/pop/water/milk would always be the temperature I want it to be.

…lattes would be free.

…there would be a Monty Python Channel.

…we could fly by ourselves and walk through walls and on water.

…I could be sexy, clever and smart.

…nobody’d litter.

…nobody’d be hungry. Or homeless. Or afraid of their family.

…I could understand algebra.

…I wouldn’t have to work. I could just play baseball all day and get laid after the game and they’d pay me for it.

Guttermouth’s song, “Perfect World”

If I lived in a perfect world
I would spend my days lying in the sun
the party never ends in a perfect world
if your life has hit the skids
wave goodbye to the wife & kids
I’m ready to move in to a perfect world
nacho cheese and anarchy
boy that sure sounds good to me
every kind of drug is free
in the new America
shoot your pistol in the air
celebrate a brand new year
living leisurely in a perfect world
everybody’s drinking hams
Good by all you straight edge bands
sit around and get a tan
in the new America
when I turn on my T.V.
nothing but pornography
no more rated “G” in a perfect world
strung out hookers everywhere
have a picnic feed the bears
now nobody even cares
In the new America
Nothing in this worlds for free
cause everything belongs to me
No more green fees in a perfect world

Oh baby… oh baby, vavavoom! I love it when you talk that way!

“In a perfect world Elvis Presley would be alive and all of the impersonaters would be dead.”
[ul][/ul][ul][/ul][sup]JOHNNY CARSON (Courtesy of Mangetout)

There wouldn’t be any humans in a perfect world.

Just look around and accept it, because this is it.

    You already are, honey.

Hmmmm…these late night posters are cynical. But that’s…okay.
Trucido, I see your point.

kniz, I see your point too, but I’m a little more idealistic, I guess.

Monster…cool. Very cool.

Crunchy, that could happen…right?

Zenster, if you like the way I talk…you’d love my silly walk.

lurker…aw shucks. You old sweetie. In a perfect world I could give you a big kiss for that one.

A perfect world is where only myself and my loved ones exist, but I could get out to other’s worlds and visit. I read a short story by Isaac Asimov that had something like this. Earth was merely a giant teleportation centre to other planets (all uninhabited, naturally, and generally dead in terms of life and geology), which had one house each on them, with one family, and so on.

That would be mightily cool.

Or, if a nuclear war eliminates all but my loved ones, that’ll be fine as well. I love the cold, anyways…

…life would have a soundtrack.

…everyone will actually GIVE a shit about other people and will be nice and polite.

…anarchy would work.

…people could go on vacation to the moon.

…concert and plane tickets wouldn’t cost so much.

…Calvin and Hobbes would be back in the newspapers again.

…Nickelodeon would bring back “Rocko’s Modern Life”.

…I wouldn’t have lied.

I can’t help you with any of the others, but this one isn’t as hard as you think.

I’d be living with Una.

… I’d be living a lot closer to (or with) Gunslinger.
… I’d have my own theme song.
… Nobody would have allergies.
… I’d have a kitten.
… My English Comp professor wouldn’t harass me for being a Yankee.
… All my socks would be clean.
… I’d be skinnier and prettier and have good skin and natural grace.
… Clouds would always make pretty shapes in the sky.
… Bus tickets and gas would be less expensive.
… Math would make sense to me.

I would be Emperor and I would finally clean up this place…:smiley:

I could tell everyone my secret! (shhhh)

Please…please, enlighten me. I’d do anything (just about) to have a better handle on math.

And in a perfect world…I could make each of your worlds perfect with only a wish, and regret would be no more than a six-letter word.

“[Sir Thomas More’s] Utopia has slaves. Do they think it’s utopia?” - Hamish

In a perfect world I wouldn’t get “fan mail” like this about my Hate Crimes article:



  I might comment that it is also written "Judge not, lest ye be judged." (funny how Fundies forget that one :D) If your writer is male, I hope he never masturbated, for Onan sinned when he spent his seed on the ground, and if female, it also says "Wives, be submissive to your husbands." so they should not worry about jobs, etc., and just do what hubby says.

Of course, I believe they also say the Devil can quote Scripture for his own use, so who am I to say…
…ah, screw him…