Page 7…Improve your sex life with speaker cable.
Page 8…EBay: Now you too can own a velour belt with a plastic buckle.
Page 10…Social Security: How to screw your grandparents.
Page 12…How to return eaten food to the grocery store.
Page 13…Three great jokes about people from Rhode Island.
Page 14…The women of Jerry Springer and how to make them love you.
Page 16…Invent your own language and talk to yourself in secret.
Page 19…Why you aren’t good at anything.
Page 22…Getting out of trouble with the police by using animal balloons.
Page 26…How to get that bar slut to marry you.
Page 29…Why you’ll never make money selling drugs to yourself.
Page 32…How to watch TV with a dead monkey.
Page 35…How to make your Mom cry in ten easy steps.
Page 39…Heckling the stiff at the funeral home – do’s and dont’s.
Page 40…Bestiality – What kind of dog to buy.
Page 43…Fitting a brick in your ass – a pictorial guide.
Page 48…Ten things to think about while you’re puking.
Page 52…Midget bowling: Is it really a sport?
page 53…Eight things to say if you’re caught wearing your sister’s underwear.
Page 55…Black? It doesn’t matter. You can still learn to speak Yiddish.
Page 59…If I fantasize about Oprah, am I gay?
Page 61…101 ways to wok a dog.
Page 65…Church usher…make cash the easy way.
Page 68…How to become the drunk at the end of the bar.
Accepting ideas for next month’s issue.